Earning the Love of a Princess-Chapter 256: Violet: Know Your Place

Violet stood up, her back aching a little. She’d been lead out to dance a couple of times herself but she was now back at the ladies’ table. The evening was in full swing but she was growing tired of watching the merriment. The sweet wine served to everyone was also making her feel drowsy.

Ilse was on the dance floor, being whirled around. Her laughter cascaded like sweet birdsong and was setting Violet’s teeth on edge. She had lost count of the men who’d asked her pretty sister to dance. Now Ilse was in the arms of Prince James, who was making her laugh with whatever he was saying. Or maybe she was just pretending to find his words amusing.

Violet wondered how much of Ilse’s joyful exuberance was real and how much was an act to please others. Was she genuinely as happy at court, serving as the companion to a boring old woman, as she made out to be? Or was she just playing the role to help her fit in?

To help her fit in better than you, Violet? Is that what you mean?

She shook her head to ignore that wheedling little voice inside. Maybe stepping outside for some fresh air would help clear her mind of such thoughts.

Violet requested permission from Queen Celia to visit the privy. Once granted, she quietly made her way across the hall to the main entrance doors, past the crowd of dancers. Out of the corner of her eye she could see her twin now paired with one of the dashing young army captains.

The strains of music grew faint as Violet walked away and down the quiet corridor. She headed down the main staircase. The ground floor was even quieter, glowing a soft orange by the light of wall torches. Only a few servants scurried by.

Violet paced the long, empty space until she reached a door that led out to the western gardens. Glancing around her, she checked that no one was watching and stepped outside.

The warm breeze immediately brushed her face, carrying the faint scent of jasmine. In the darkness, Violet let out a breath she hadn’t even realised she was holding in. There was no one watching her - no stern queen, no backstabbing ladies, no men to try and impress. For a few moments at least, she could stop feeling like she was part of an endless masquerade and just be herself.

Slumping onto a small timber seat, Violet wondered if anyone could really be themselves when surrounded by so much artifice. Or perhaps some courtiers had pretended to be a certain way for so long, that it had eventually become their true identity.

Who did she want to be? And who was she going to have to pretend to be, to get ahead in the eyes of the court?

Was she willing to become that woman?

Violet closed her eyes and tilted her head backwards. She never imagined this glamorous new life would be so exhausting and make her question herself this much. She even found herself missing the simplicity of her previous life. Not the hunger or the shabbiness of Thierre Manor, of course. And certainly not her mother. But Violet realised she missed the privilege of letting whatever emotion she was feeling in the moment, appear honestly on her face.

There was no pausing to check how many eyes were upon her, no one’s reactions to gauge or consider.

Was this really where she was supposed to be? Because if it was, why did she feel so out of sorts?

And if court wasn’t her place and neither was home, where did she truly belong?

Violet stood up but wasn’t ready to return and face the crowd quite yet. She decided to walk the gardens for a while first.

A half moon cast an eerie light over everything, creating strange shadows on the ground from the trees and shrubs. She also passed the occasional shadow that she knew very well, wasn’t created by the greenery.

Everyone knew that couples would often slip out of events to have secret encounters in the dark gardens. Everyone except Queen Celia, it seemed. The slow pudding of a woman was under the delusion that she presided over a virtuous court and all her ladies lived in pious chastity.

Then again, maybe even she knew the truth and just pretended not to notice.

Violet tried to steer clear of everyone, deliberately walking in the opposite direction of any rustling or whispered giggles she could hear. She couldn’t imagine being so reckless with her reputation.

If I were discovered trysting with some man, Mother and Father would flay me alive, she thought. Then they’d cut all my gowns down to fit Sancia and send the little terror here to take my place. No point in not gaining the maximum benefit from their investment, was there?

She didn’t stop walking to see who she’d encounter, not even when a beam of moonlight fell on one of the shadowy couples and caught the edge of an embroidered skirt.

Well, if it wasn’t Maisie Setterten, hardly acting like a lady? Violet immediately recognised the gold stitching along the edge of the gown, that rose to create an elaborate pattern on the skirt. Maisie had been twirling around proudly and showing off her gown to the other ladies, while they all sat around waiting for the queen to finish dressing for the banquet.

Violet wondered idly who Maisie was sneaking around with - someone for the night or someone that she had a longer attachment with? As ladies-in-waiting to the queen, any betrothals had to be approved by Her Majesty herself. No one of any noble rank could afford being discovered in the arms of a petty knight or steward, much less a servant.

She walked on. There was no point stirring up trouble with Maisie, especially since the two ladies had finally reached a stalemate of completely ignoring each other.

After a few more moments, Violet started to turn back and head the way she’d come. As she slowly moved back towards the castle, the suggestion of a familiar voice reached her keen ears. She couldn’t quite place it but the faint giggle wasn’t new to her.

Violet tried to walk in another direction but became slightly disoriented in the darkness. She turned abruptly and heard the breathy little laugh again, while the dim light gleamed off a man’s broad back, clad in emerald green silk.

Wasn’t that the very same shade of silk that the two eldest princes had been wearing?

She pressed herself up against a tree trunk, hardly daring to breathe. It had to be Prince Leo, didn’t it? Violet couldn’t imagine the ever polite and angelic James romping with someone in the bushes. Besides, everyone knew James maintained a devoted correspondence with his young betrothed, who he was set to marry when the girl turned sixteen.

Or perhaps the chivalrous letter writing was just a front that he used to hide dishonourable behaviour. Violet wouldn’t really be that surprised anymore. She inched forward and craned her neck ever so quietly to peer at the couple through a hedge.

Well, she’d been right about it being Leo, she thought when she caught a quick glimpse of his face and heard the rumble of his voice. The lady he had bent over a stone bench however, took her by complete surprise.

Lady Kathryn Danner. The meek little mouse of a girl that followed Maisie around like an obedient pet, treating every word from Maisie’s lips like a pearl of wisdom. She was one of the queen’s very favourite ladies for her gentle nature.

Violet couldn’t see much of that gentle nature now. Instead, her body bounced rhythmically with the movement of Prince Leo behind her, her legs wide open and her skirts bunched up awkwardly between them. Her voice, usually a sickly sweet whisper, was now throaty as she urged the prince on, begging him for more.

She shouldn’t look, she knew that. Violet knew she should turn and leave immediately. But she couldn’t tear her eyes away. She’d never seen two people in the act before and was overwhelmingly curious. Lady Thierre had only ever mentioned it as the indignities a woman had to endure at her husband’s hands. She’d never said a single thing about it being pleasurable.

The way docile little Kathryn was moaning and grinding against the man behind her suggested it was pleasurable indeed. Or was it an act because she thought that was what Leo would like best?

Violet stepped back, dizziness hitting her. Trying to understand what emotions were real in the court and what were only a charade, was exhausting. A twig cracked under her foot and she froze.

Looking at the couple again, Leo acted as if he heard nothing, continuing to pump furiously. Lady Kathryn’s eyes however, were wide with nerves as she scanned the darkness, unseeing.

Violet smirked. The fear on the other girl’s face...that emotion was very real, at least.