F-Rank Puppeteer!! But I'll be Queen, and I'm not a narcissist!!!!!-Chapter 206: A Sad Truth About the World

"..." I can see the inside of the house, having passed through the door I see how the house feels...lifeless, not exactly empty because it’s well-kept, but the atmosphere is dead in a way that makes me shudder.

"...Are they still here? This house...it was never this quiet..." My parents weren’t loud people, but still, there would usually be the sound of pots and pans, or the sound of my mother watering the small vegetable garden in the yard, or the sound of my father’s tools, or him tinkering with the car.

I walk calmly through the house. Before looking for my parents, I go to my room, to see how it is. On the way, I see a family portrait: a woman with short brown hair and almond-colored eyes, and a man with blue eyes and a shy smile.

In the center of them is a little girl with long brown hair and blue eyes. They are my parents and me in childhood. I looked so happy.

"When did I become a recluse...?" I don’t know. In childhood, I was undoubtedly much more active. But at some point, the social pressure, school, grades, and everything that sums up a teenage life became too much for me, and I found a new world in games.

"..." I poke my head through the door to see my room. It’s almost the same as on the last day of my life. The only difference is that things like energy drink cans and food wrappers were taken away because they would have rotted and left a bad smell.

"My room...they left it the same...why?..." I leave my room and head to the kitchen. My mother spent a lot of time in the kitchen because she loves to cook, always trying new recipes—a hobby she learned from her late mother.

As soon as I arrive in the kitchen, I see her. My mother. Her brown hair now has white strands as if stress has aged her greatly. She has a tired face and dark circles under her eyes. She no longer has that expression I knew.

She’s also not cooking, nor watching new food tutorials. She’s just sitting at the table looking at a photo of me. She looks so...sad.

"..." It makes me shed tears. She misses me. She really misses the person I was, even though I was a horrible daughter.

"Now it’s time for breakfast...dad should be home soon, right? Or not?" I look at the clock. It’s 7:46 in the morning. Considering there’s no dirty dishes, neither of them has had breakfast yet.

’Are those letters?’ I can’t interact with the world, but I can read open letters. I approach the letters on the table’s counter, and when I see some of the papers, my tears only increase.

"Divorce? Mom and Dad got divorced?" I read a small part of one of the letters. It’s covered by other papers, so I can’t read everything, but I recognize my father’s handwriting.

My father, who was a relatively shy man, would always write something down on paper whenever he couldn’t say it. And in the letters I see, he blames my mother. He blames her for failing me.

Since she was the one who interacted with me the most and should have "saved" me, even though there was nothing to be done in that situation. My death destroyed my parents’ marriage.

"This is..." I see the paper with the most recent date, a formal notice since Mom is Dad’s ex-wife. A death certificate. Dad died of a heart attack. The continuous stress over the years because of everything took a heavy toll on his body.

"...Haaa...Haaa...Haaa..." I grow breathless and dizzy, feeling like I’m going to collapse on the floor. I destroyed everything. Because of me, my father died, and my mother was left alone.

"O-Of course things wouldn’t be good...h-hahahaha...if I died, of course the planet just moved on without me..." I sit on the floor crying, looking at my mother’s back. She’s also crying softly now.

"How I wish I could turn back time...go back to before I became a useless parasite...i-if only I had been better..." It was everything I didn’t expect, and it was far worse than anything I could have imagined.

"I’m sorry...I-I’m sorry M-Mom and Dad..." I start to break down in tears like a child, ugly tears as I fall to the floor. It’s all my fault and I know it. While I was in the other world, in this world, my parents were suffering.

I always had doubts. I always doubted how much they loved me. I always thought that if I disappeared, they’d be happy not to have to deal with me anymore. But from what I see now, I know. They loved me so much that without me, everything fell apart.

...

...

...

"E-Esther-sama, you should rest and...you haven’t eaten in days...you look like...you need a break." Elizabeth speaks fearfully while I’m sitting next to Evelyn on the bed. She’s been unconscious for almost a week.

Sleeping peacefully, but not that peaceful, because tears stream from her eyes at times. So I stay here holding her hand, waiting for her to wake up.

"Elizabeth, shut the fuck up. I don’t need you talking." I say coldly, looking at her who entered the room without my permission. I’ve kept everyone away from Evelyn—servants, those puppets, and anyone who could get in the way.

I’m taking care of Evelyn in everything. I bathe her. I feed her even though she doesn’t need it. I caress her and give her massages. And when she cries, I hold her hand and whisper words of affection to her.

"B-But Esther-sama, Her Majesty is—"

"SHUT UP!" I yell at her, who keeps bothering me.

"Elizabeth, don’t think I won’t kill you just because you’re a good servant. If you say one more word, I’ll cut your fucking head off." I’m irritated. Or rather, I’m hungry. Ever since Evelyn fell unconscious, I’ve been taking care of her, but I haven’t been taking proper care of myself.

I’ve spent all this time without eating, and my thirst for blood is at its limit, to the point where Evelyn, so defenseless and vulnerable, is looking delicious. But I promised Evelyn that if she trusted me, I would respect her boundaries.

And she said she trusts me. She is now fragile, vulnerable, and unconscious. As her wife, my duty is to protect her until she returns. I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know why she fainted.

But the healers I brought said she’ll probably wake up within a week to a month. So I’ll be here for her. I’ll be here and embrace her when she wakes up.

I refuse to let her wake up alone. What kind of wife would I be if I weren’t here to see her waking up? Even though the hunger is unbearable, and every second I spend watching her I feel like I’m going to do something crazy.

"..." Elizabeth stares at me. She looks into my eyes and her whole body trembles, as if afraid of what she’s seeing. She bows slightly without taking her eyes off me, as if I might attack her, and leaves through the door.

"Haa...Haa..." I pant with hunger. Controlling myself is like a test of my love for Evelyn. Is there a greater proof of love than me restraining myself from attacking her body out of hunger? To me, it seems quite romantic.

"Evelyn...I wonder what’s going through your head right now...what’s making you so sad." I take her hand and kiss it, her beautiful and delicate hands.

"You look so adorable when you’re vulnerable like this..." I lick the back of her hand. I can smell the blood inside her. It seems so delicious. Even though I’m restraining myself, I can’t help but react this way.

"Only you, Evelyn, could make me stop myself from doing something, you know? I never in my entire life thought I’d resist the urge to do something so much for someone..." I start to suck on her fingers. The urge to bite is immense, almost uncontrollable.

"Please wake up soon...I miss hearing your voice...and I feel like if you take too long, I’ll do something crazy." I don’t know what effects the Golden Apple had on her, as it’s an item with very diverse effects.

But whatever Evelyn is going through now, I will support her. I just wish she would wake up as soon as possible.

"...I stare at Evelyn’s face, her calm and even breathing, so surrendered to me at this moment. I put one of my own fingers in my mouth and start to chew on it. Tasting my own blood is strange and doesn’t satisfy the hunger, but it helps calm me down so I don’t try to eat Evelyn.

My eyes remain fixed on her, staring obsessively. This little trial of resistance, where I resist the urge to devour her, makes me love her even more. I feel a strange euphoria in having her like this.

As if I could have absolute proof that my love for her is real, as real as I am real in this false world. And I love it. I knew Evelyn was perfect for me. She is the only one equal to me in this world, and that makes me euphoric.

"You know, Evelyn...this past week we’ve spent like this...was some of the best days I’ve ever had in my life." I loved doing this. I love having all this control. It makes me feel closer to her.

All our time together until now has been limited. There was always someone—be it servants, her puppets, or a limited amount of time. But now, now that she’s vulnerable, everything depends on me, and I can do everything myself.

And it feeds my possessiveness. I never thought having such complete possession of Evelyn would be so gratifying. Protecting her like this is something I enjoy as much as I’m enjoying resisting my hunger just to keep her safe from me and the world.

"..." I bring my face close to Evelyn’s beautiful, unconscious face, licking her cheek, savoring her sweet taste.

"Wake up soon, love, before things get out of control."