Harem Roleplay System: I Was Added to a Magic Chat Group of Beauties!-Chapter 9: Group Infiltration

James sat there with fingers twitching above the keyboard as his mind was caught in a strange paralysis. He wanted to type something, anything sharp and cutting, but for some reason, he just... couldn't.

His eyes darted back to the message on his screen.

[Artoria: Hi. I got your username from Merlin. I just wanted to know... are you actually a woman? 🤔]

Maybe reading it a second time would help him make sense of this madness.

He blinked. Once. Twice.

A vein twitched on his forehead.

"What the hell kind of question is that?"

He muttered as he leaned back in his chair.

His gaze drifted to his reflection in the dim part of his screen—sharp jawline, dark bags under his eyes, stubble growing in places he should've shaved three days ago.

Did he look like a woman?

That was a frustratingly confusing question, one that forced him to lower his intellect just to process it.

His mouse moved almost on instinct and he quickly clicked open Artoria's profile.

The moment he saw it, all color drained from his face.

His jaw dropped—no, if it could, it would've crashed straight into his desk.

The abomination on his screen left him frozen as his mind struggled to reboot. His body refused to move, yet his eyes continued darting across the sheer insanity plastered on Artoria's profile page.

[Username: @KingArthur_69]

[Display Name: Artoria Pendragon ⚔️📖]

Bio:

👑 Next Ruler of Camelot | Knight | Collector of "Artifacts"

📖 Avid Reader | BL Enthusiast | Maven of Fine Literature

📺 Part-Time Streamer, Full-Time Watcher (Especially spicy streams)

🍆🥒 Size matters. My collection proves it.

💌 Business: [[email protected]]

[Cover Photo: A grand, elegant library filled with shelves of books—half of them noble literature, half of them wrapped in suggestive covers. A small display case in the corner holds a "mysterious" collection of cucumbers and eggplants of varying sizes.]

Content & Posts

Pinned Post:

📌 "King Arthur was known for his legendary sword. But if I told you swords weren't the only things of legendary size I collect, would you believe me?" 😏 #CollectorOfLengths

Recent Posts:

📖 "Finished another BL novel. The knight x prince dynamic never gets old... especially when it's detailed." 😌💖

🍆 "Just found an eggplant longer than Excalibur. My collection grows. The kingdom shall witness true greatness."

🗡️ "Sword training in the morning, degeneracy in the evening. Balance is key to being a ruler."

📺 "I tried streaming today but got distracted discussing ideal lengths... in weapons, of course. Cough"

🔞 "If I ruled Camelot based on ahem size qualifications alone, let's just say some knights would be out of a job."

Other Info:

[Followers: 900M]

[Following: 69 (Strictly follows authors of spicy literature, top BL illustrators, degenerate meme pages, and a few blacksmiths for 'research purposes.')]

･･･

By the time he was done, he groaned, dragging both hands over his face.

"I need to wash my damn eyes after that..."

But then, his gaze flickered back to the name.

A thought sparked in his mind.

Exiting his scanty chat wall with Artoria, he flipped back to the [Tales of Old] chat group.

Rubbing his chin like a detective on a tough case, he scrolled through the endless walls of text.

"I swear, they were talking about an Artoria yesterday... but I can't just assume it's her. These guys love roleplaying, and when they can't get their favorite character, they just—what was it again?—genderbend said character."

He clicked his tongue.

"Tch. Actually pretty clever."

His eyes narrowed as the thoughtful hum in his throat grew louder as he scrolled at an efficient pace.

"They described this Artoria as a size-addict, going from DMs to DMs shamelessly asking guys for dick pics and their measurements."

He snorted.

"But apparently, according to Thor, she's still a virgin and has zero experience with men or even the outside world, since, as the Crown Princess of Camelot, she's locked in the castle all day like some medieval Rapunzel."

He rolled his eyes.

"That's so fucking dumb. The whole point of roleplaying is to experience freedom, and she chooses to be a shut-in princess? Tch."

Tired of scrolling, he leaned back, using his arms as pillows to cushion his head against the chair.

His half-lidded eyes screamed disappointment.

"She's probably just some underaged, terminally horny teenager looking for worthless validation in a chat group full of weird, old dudes."

He scoffed.

"She's gonna have a mental breakdown when they do a face reveal, and she's so chopped that even the guy roleplaying Zeus doesn't want her."

Brutal? Yes. But that was reality.

These chuunis needed to get used to it at some point.

Leaning forward, he opened a new tab and pulled up Artoria's profile picture again.

A small frown formed on his face.

Artoria was... beautiful. Unreasonably so. A perfect warrior princess—silken blonde hair, ocean-blue eyes, a sculpted body wrapped in a regal blue dress and pristine silver armor. The fur-lined royal mantle only made her seem more ethereal.

James shook his head.

"Nah, no way someone actually looks like this. Even those god-tier Chinese cosplayers who overdose on douyin makeup could never—this is way too perfect. Looks straight out of a well-drawn anime."

He exhaled through his nose.

"This has to be AI-generated."

He nodded as if forcing himself to be convinced.

"There's no way fine shit of this caliber would exist and want to be a weird dick stalker... impossible..."

But then...

His mind wandered back to Merlin.

He crossed his arms.

"But all those guys were simping for Merlin..."

His frown deepened.

"Either she actually looks like that in real life, or she's baiting them with crazy realistic AI images... But even Hart AI isn't this detailed."

The more he thought about it, the more annoyed he got. His head snapped back, a long, frustrated groan escaping him as he kicked his feet under the desk.

"This is pissing me off so fucking much, ugh—!!"

Ding.

His second tab lit up.

[Artoria: 👀 Pssst—are you there...?]

James's face soured.

That was enough motivation to get back to scrolling.

A few more flicks of the wheel, and—there.

He found the chat he was looking for.

It was supposed to be deleted, but somehow, he could still see all the messages.

James squinted. "Wait... how?"

Just then, an unfamiliar voice echoed in his mind:

[Magic Eyes of Appraisal—A special ability common to individuals with powerful magical bloodlines, such as gods, divine heroes, and demon royalty.]

James flinched. His eyes darted around.

"Huh?! Who the hell just—"

He shook his head violently.

『No, focus. Back to the deleted chat.』

He started reading.

[Arthur: Guys, I've been sneaking around Merlin's room, eavesdropping on her conversations, and I have MAD shocking news. 😱]

[Thor: Well, spit it out.]

[Arthur: There's supposedly this all-girls chat group we don't know about.]

[Thor: Of course there is. 🤷‍♂️]

[Arthur: Wait, YOU knew?!]

[Tsukuyomi: You don't have to see it to know it exists. Pretty women are secretive as hell. Of course they'd have a chat group where they talk about which male god or hero is lame, ugly, annoying... or broke.]

[Susanoo: FR! 😡 I refuse to let my sweet, sweet Amaterasu get tainted by that unholy Merlin and her clique, so I forbade her from joining.]

[Tsukuyomi: Hmm, we're such good brothers. 🗿]

[Loki: Actually, when I was still in my baddie form, I managed to sneak into the all-girls chat and get a few info... before they kicked me out. 😭😭]

[Thor: Oh, for real? What were they talking about? Some crazy new spell Merlin developed? Zeus being a deadbeat dad again?]

[Loki: Nope. Dick.]

[Thor: ???]

[Tsukuyomi: 😐]

New novel 𝓬hapters are published on ƒreewebɳovel.com.

[Susanoo: HUH?!]

James folded his arms and nodded with assurance.

"Yep. Unreasonably horny women."

He was just glad he was right.

[Arthur: That's the main part I wanted to tell you guys — these women are ALWAYS talking about dick sizes. Like, 70% of the chat is just that. I SWEAR!]

[Thor: But WHY?!]

[Arthur: I dunno, but I'm making it my mission to infiltrate that chat group.]

[Thor, Loki, Tsukuyomi, Susanoo: Agreed.]

[Arthur: I'll delete this mistake of a convo and get the court mages to seal it with concealment magic before those thirsty women log in—]

[Arthur: Shit. How dumb are we? We should've talked about this somewhere else.]

[Loki: Relax, we'll just flood the chat with random nonsense. They'll never find this.]

James exhaled, then dragged a hand down his face.

"... He's really calling deleting a friggin' text some dumb shit like 'concealment magic'...? Really?"

James shook his head, exhaling sharply through his nose.

"Honestly... these guys are losers."

With a huff, he was about to exit the app and get some well-needed sleep—even if it was broad daylight—when his fingers froze over the screen. His brows furrowed as a thought crept into his mind like an insidious whisper.

『Wait a minute...』

Artoria, the admin of the so-called "All-Girls Chat Group" was asking if he was a girl. That meant she wanted to know because she was planning to add him... right? Yeah. That had to be it.

James rubbed his chin, his mind running a mile a minute.

This wasn't some dumb coincidence.

If there was even a slight chance that he could infiltrate this exclusive girls-only space—where no man had ever set foot—then there was only one thing to say.

"... Fuck it. I'll do it."

With that, he cracked his fingers and shifted his focus back to the second tab where his short exchange with Artoria sat waiting. He typed with casual ease:

[Kang: Yeah? But why do you wanna know?]

After hitting send, he folded his arms, shut his eyes, and waited impatiently.

A second later, the notification appeared—

Artoria was typing.

[Artoria: Phew... I'm so glad you're a girl! 😆]

James' eyes twitched at that.

[Artoria: We already have a demon lord chick in our secret chat group, so it'd be nice if we had another one who could relate with her. Her name's Lilith. Real chill chick. Swings both ways, if you know what I mean... 😏]

As James read that last part, his face scrunched up so hard it looked like he was about to hurl.

He somehow swallowed down his disgust and forced himself to remain calm.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard before typing:

[Okay, but if this chat group is so "secret," why are you just adding someone you know nothing about?]

As soon as he hit send, he scoffed at his own message.

"Besides the fact that it's just a stupid group where they talk about dicks and nothing of remote importance..."

A new notification popped up.

[Artoria: Oh, Merlin didn't tell you? 🤨]

James felt his stomach sink slightly.

[Artoria: She already did a divination search on your account, so we know you're not exactly male. I just wanted to confirm.]

James blinked. Then, slowly, he spun in his chair, rubbing his chin as he digested that information.

"... Ohhh, of course the chuunis had to use some dumb divination spell before adding a new member to their oh-so-precious chat group."

He suddenly let out a laugh, clutching his stomach.

"And news flash—Merlin, the so-called 'beautiful magical genius' couldn't even get it right! I'm obviously a man! Anyone with half a brain cell could tell just from my damn na—"

James froze.

His body locked up. His mind went blank.

Something inside him clicked—something so deeply horrifying that it sent a shudder down his spine.

His hand shot to his crotch.

Nothing.

"... No way that counts, right?"

His fingers scrambled back to the keyboard, his hands moving on pure instinct as he quickly typed:

[Kang: Ohh 😮 didn't know about all that. But at least I do now, haha...]

His knee bounced anxiously under the desk as he waited for a response.

"... Is it possible...?"

James murmured, swallowing deeply.

"That these guys... are actually smarter than I thou...?"

The moment that thought even crossed his mind, a new message came through.

[Artoria: Do you like big dicks?]

James' eye twitched so hard he thought he might develop a nervous disorder.

For a brief second, just one, he had almost given these people credit. Almost. But whatever microscopic shred of respect he had was immediately obliterated.

But...

He needed to get into that chat group.

Did he have anything to gain? No.

Was there a single meaningful reason to go through with this? Absolutely not.

But James was a competitive man.

And if he could be one of the few people to know what went on in the [Table of Beauties] chat group... that was all the reason he needed.

He inhaled sharply, his fingers stiff as steel.

He typed:

[Kang: Yes, I like big dick...]

His thumb hovered over the send button.

His pride screamed at him to stop. His soul wept.

Yet somehow — through sheer willpower — his finger tapped the screen.

The message sent.

James collapsed back in his chair, staring at the ceiling with hollow, lifeless eyes.

"... This better be worth it."

A new notification pinged.

😁

Then, right after—

[Artoria has sent you a Divine Link to the 'Table of Beauties' chat group!]

James sat up immediately, his eyes shining with victory.

He did it.

He was in.