I Am The Villainess Who Will Tame Every Yandere Heroine!-Chapter 47: Rizz

Serafine sat on the grandest chair in the room.

Grand not because it was particularly luxurious, but because she had stolen it from one of the abandoned noble houses in the village and had since claimed it as her rightful throne.

Her legs were lazily draped over one armrest, and her head dangled off the other, her golden hair spilling onto the floor.

Across from her sat Calix, slumped forward with his face buried in his hands, looking like a man who had long since given up on life.

"Alright, let's go over the clues one more time," Serafine declared, waving a finger in the air. "The mysterious man in the crowd—what do we know?"

"Again? Lady Savior, we've done this five times. I don't think there's anything else to squeeze out of these so-called 'clues' except your own delusions."

She gasped, clutching her chest as if he had personally stabbed her. "Calix, how dare you suggest that my deductions are anything less than genius?"

"They are less than genius."

"Blasphemy."

"Fine. The clues. One more time," He gave up.

Serafine wiggled herself upright and began listing them off dramatically.

Clue #1: The man was watching the entire scene unfold, yet didn't react with fear like the others. That means he was either very brave, very stupid, or very involved.

"Or maybe he just didn't care," Calix muttered.

Serafine ignored him.

Clue #2: He didn't try to interfere. This could mean he was gathering information... or waiting for something.

"Or maybe he was just lost and regretted walking into this nonsense."

Clue #3: He was too well-dressed to be a common villager. A traveler? A noble? Someone with power?

"Or maybe—"

"Calix, if you say 'maybe he was just minding his business' one more time, I swear—"

"Fine, fine, continue your conspiracy theory."

She rolled her eyes. "As I was saying… based on all these clues, I think I know exactly who he is. But I need a little more confirmation."

"Wait. You actually figured it out?"

"Oh, my dear disciple, of course I did. My mind is a steel trap, my intellect unparalleled. This was child's play."

"If I had a coin for every time you said that, I'd have enough to bribe the gods into giving me a normal life."

"Well, too bad for you! Now, let's get moving. We leave tonight."

Calix groaned again. "Why does it have to be at midnight?!"

"Because it's dramatic."

"And because you're making this up as you go, aren't you?"

"Absolutely," Serafine admitted cheerfully.

By the time they were in the carriage, rolling through the empty roads under the moon's glow, Serafine was already regretting her decision.

She was so sleepy.

Her head lolled back against the seat, her limbs heavy, her body swaying with every bump on the road. Even the rhythmic clatter of the horse's hooves was lulling her into a warm, comfortable daze.

"Calix, carry me," she mumbled.

Calix, who had long since resigned himself to being her caretaker, merely stared ahead, dead inside. "No."

"Mariella, carry me."

Mariella, sitting across from them, merely smiled sweetly. "Of course, Lady Savior. Do you want me to hold you forever?"

Calix shot her a look. "That's creepy. Stop that."

"Mariella wins. Carry me."

Mariella was already moving before Serafine finished her sentence. Without hesitation, she pulled Serafine onto her lap, wrapping her arms around her tightly.

Too tightly.

Calix squinted. "Uh. Mariella. You're holding her. Not kidnapping her."

Serafine mumbled something incoherent, shifting slightly in the overly affectionate embrace. Mariella's hands were resting on Serafine's waist, fingers lightly tracing circles against her dress.

"She's so soft," Mariella whispered.

"Okay. No. That's too much," the male disciple was getting a little too worried.

But Mariella was unbothered. If anything, her grip tightened. "I must protect her. She's so delicate. So precious. So easily taken away…"

"That was weird. That was a really weird thing to say."

Serafine, half-asleep, nuzzled into Mariella's shoulder. "Mmm, warm…"

"This is exactly why Clara kept calling you a psycho."

"And what if I am?"

Calix did not like that answer.

He scooted as far away as the small carriage allowed, deciding that whatever happened next, he did not see anything.

Their lady savior, on the other hand, was blissfully unaware of the terrifying turn the conversation had taken, merely sighed in content. "Mariella, you're comfy."

"I can be so much more than that, Lady Savior~"

Calix shot up. "Okay, that's enough!"

The carriage rattled along the uneven dirt path, its wooden wheels groaning in protest as they rolled over gnarled tree roots and dips in the earth.

Each time the carriage hit a particularly large bump, Serafine would groan in half-asleep protest, mumbling something about "executing the inventor of roads," while Mariella merely held onto her with a smug smile, ensuring that the so-called Lady Savior didn't tumble right out.

As they emerged from the suffocating embrace of the woods, the world ahead stretched open. The towering walls of the capital loomed in the distance, rising like an unbreakable fortress against the night.

Bathed in the cold glow of lanterns and torches, the stone walls were formidable, a silent declaration that the city beyond was not for the uninvited.

Rows of guards, their armor gleaming beneath the firelight, stood stationed at the entrance, their halberds reflecting sharp glints of steel.

Some paced back and forth in rigid patrols, while others leaned against the stone pillars, engaged in hushed conversations.

"Ugh, finally. That was the longest five hours of my life."

"It was fifteen minutes," Calix deadpanned.

"You let me suffer for three whole fifteen minutes?! What kind of disciple are you?"

The night was cold, the capital's walls looming ahead like a sleeping beast, guarded by men who clearly valued their jobs just a little too much. But Serafine? Serafine was prepared.

With the grace of someone who had absolutely no shame, she activated her Mask of Light, letting her divine ability twist and shift her appearance until she was no longer the radiant Lady Savior but instead a scruffy, musty-smelling thug whose soul had long since left his body.

Literally.

She adjusted the collar of her stolen, slightly bloodstained coat and turned to her unfortunate companions, Calix, who looked like he was about to collapse from secondhand embarrassment, and Mariella, who was watching with the eerie amusement of someone who found her antics far too attractive.

"Alright, darlings," Serafine purred in her new deep, gravelly voice, "I shall be your fearless leader. No guard can resist my raw, masculine charm."

"That's… your plan? Just flirt with them?"

"It is foolproof."

"It is stupid."

"Watch and learn, my dear disciple," their lady savior declared, hopping off the carriage and swaggering towards the guards like she owned the city.

The two men at the checkpoint squinted at her, clearly unimpressed by the sight of what appeared to be a well-traveled, possibly lice-ridden criminal leading a fancy carriage at midnight.

"Halt," one of them barked. "State your business."

She sighed dramatically, placing a hand over her heart. "My good men, must we be so formal? So distant? We're all hardworking citizens here, trying to make an honest living—"

"You smell like beer and poor life choices."

"Exactly!" she beamed, clapping the guard on the shoulder. "A hardworking man like me deserves a little night of fun in the city, don't you think?"

The second guard grimaced. "And the carriage?"

"Oh, that? That's my employer inside. Big shot, very mysterious. The kind that throws money around for sport, you know the type."

The guards exchanged glances, unimpressed.

Serafine leaned in conspiratorially. "Listen, between us men of the world, I know the rules and all, but what if I happened to have a little… encouragement for my favorite protectors of the city?"

She reached into her pocket, pretending to fumble around for bribe money—except she had nothing but a handful of dried flowers, a single silver coin, and a button she stole for no reason.

Calix, watching from the carriage, buried his face in his hands.

"How is this working?" he mumbled to Mariella.

"Because she has the confidence of someone who has never faced consequences," Mariella whispered back, awestruck.

The guards, meanwhile, stared at Serafine's pathetic attempt at bribery.

"…You're serious?" one of them asked.

"Dead serious," Serafine said, maintaining full eye contact. "Dead serious."

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The guards sighed, likely deciding that this wasn't worth the paperwork. "Fine. Just go. And take a bath, for the love of the gods."

With a smug wink, Serafine marched back to the carriage. "See? Foolproof."

"That was painful."

"It was effective."

"It was painful."

As the carriage rolled through the gates, Calix slumped in his seat. "So, where are we even going?"

Serafine smirked, her voice dripping with mystery.

"My garden of thorns."

"What?"

And after a few suspicious turns, a long detour through alleyways, and an unnecessary amount of silence, the carriage finally stopped in front of the red light district.

Both of her disciples stared.

"Wasn't this where you… uh…"

"Tried to preach my saintly duties?" Serafine finished, grinning.

"This is heretical."

"No, darling. This is home."