I Became the Maid of the Lout Prince-Chapter 506: Lull (1)

"I'm... garbage."

I'm the kind of trash who would imprison and starve the woman I love, unaware that she’s carrying my child.

Just three months ago, there had been no visible signs. Even though she wore clothing that bared her midriff, there hadn’t been the slightest hint of a belly. I never once considered that she might be carrying my child.

So, when we met again, I naturally assumed she’d met someone after leaving and carried another man's child. That’s why I treated her so harshly, desperate to know who had "defiled" her. I never imagined the child was mine.

After hearing her explanation—that she had wanted to have my child, despite believing we’d never meet again—I now found myself wondering if I could even face her.

‘I’m sorry... Since I thought I’d never see you again, I just wanted to have your child, Young Lord... Even if it didn’t work out, I thought that if I could be lucky enough to bear your child, I could raise it alone, thinking of it as you... If word got out that I, your mistress, bore a child before your official wife, it might cause issues for the Blackwood family... but as long as I had the child before becoming your mistress, it would be just another unrelated lineage... So...’

In the end, this was all my fault. Lilith’s decision to leave Blackwood, her resolve to bear the child on her own without consulting me, and her refusal to reveal the child’s parentage—all of it was because I kept my future plans with her a secret. I caused her distress and made her take drastic measures without ever communicating with her.

I hated myself, repeating the same mistakes, unable to say a word. Even the old me, who had cursed her and our child, disgusted me.

Imprisoning Lilith while she bore my child and denying her food and comfort—ignorance was no excuse for such behavior.

‘...This is truly hopeless.’

Maybe I was too selfish to be with her in the first place. My desire to keep her close had only made her miserable, and I couldn’t even begin to think of how I could make it up to her.

Would taking her as my official wife even make her happy anymore? Was this just my selfishness, clinging to her in a way that would only make her suffer more?

I was haunted by the thought that someday I might wound her so deeply that it couldn’t be forgiven.

This chapt𝓮r is updat𝒆d by ƒreeωebnovel.ƈom.

“Lilith, is there anything you need?”

“No, I’m fine...”

“Are you hungry? I could ask the cook to prepare a snack for you.”

“I just ate a huge lunch... and it wasn’t that long ago.”

“Still, you never know. Expecting mothers need to eat well, after all, for the baby to grow strong and healthy.”

“I’m fine for now. I just want to rest a bit.”

“Would you like me to bring you a book? Or anything else?”

The moment it was revealed that the child was Ethan’s, my treatment improved drastically.

Forced out of the cell that had been my "room," I was now lying on the bed in Ethan’s room. My own room had been converted into a cell, so my only option was his room. Isabel and Katarina had offered, but both insisted their servants' beds weren’t suitable for me.

In this familiar room, the one I had slept in most often during my time at Blackwood, Isabel chatted beside me.

“How about some warm milk? You could relax and sleep better after drinking it.”

“Alright, just one cup, then.”

“Sure, wait here. I’ll be right back!”

“Take your time. No need to rush.”

“Uh?! I’m not rushing! Come on, Lilith! Just helping out a friend, that’s all. I’ll be back soon!”

I couldn’t help but feel a little overwhelmed. I knew Isabel felt guilty about breaking her promise, even if it was to help me.

For my sake, Isabel had told Ethan about the child’s parentage almost immediately, a choice that, in hindsight, was undoubtedly the right one. Still, even °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° though she had done the right thing, she seemed a bit apologetic for lying to me.

In truth, I owed her an apology instead—she was willing to risk everything for me, even betray the Blackwood family.

‘All this trouble... just because of me.’

Once the misunderstanding was cleared, I felt an intense wave of embarrassment, along with guilt toward Ethan, Isabel, and everyone involved.

So Ethan was engaged to Queen Rainy? What was I even thinking?

To believe that he rejected all those letters from noble ladies because he had some other fiancée—it was ridiculous. The truth was, he’d been planning to marry me all along, without needing any other fiancée.

“God, I just want to crawl under a rock...”

If I’d only waited patiently, I could have experienced Ethan’s surprise without any of this chaos. But instead, I turned his thoughtful plans into a twisted chase full of regret and exhaustion. I wished I could turn back time, at least four months or so.

Not only did I miss out on graduating from the academy, but I ended up pregnant, disrupting my studies and even his. At this point, I’d decided that before jumping to conclusions, I would get confirmation from Ethan or Isabel.

‘Now, what should I say to Ethan?’

After learning that the child was his and listening to my reasoning for hiding it, Ethan had given Isabel and Dietmeyer some instructions before quietly leaving. He probably needed time to process, just as I did. I only hoped he wouldn’t overthink things.

I was the one who had led him to believe otherwise by keeping quiet, so I couldn’t blame him. If his mistake in not telling me about his surprise was one, mine for running away and staying silent about the pregnancy was probably closer to 999.

If I’d just accepted the idea of being a mistress, nothing would have happened. But my foolish pride...

Thinking about it, I decided to apologize to Ethan first once he returned.

If he felt his actions warranted an apology, he could decide, but I needed to apologize first.

As I waited, the door opened slowly, and someone stepped inside.

Creak.

“Oh, Isabel, you’re back...”

“...Sorry, Lilith. It’s not Isabel.”

“Ethan... I mean, Young Lord Blackwood?”

Now that things were resolved, maybe it was okay to call him Young Lord again, though the thought made my heart skip a beat as he approached hesitantly, his gaze avoiding mine.

“So... have you had time to think everything over?”

“Not entirely, but enough.”

“That’s good. I’ve thought things over regarding you as well, so we should be able to have a calm conversation now.”

Flinch.

Ethan’s shoulders tensed at my words, as though he sensed something strange. He took a deep breath, then moved forward, each step filled with tension.

Thud!

“I’m sorry for doubting you, Lilith! I’ll never question you again!”

He fell to his knees before me, lowering his head to the floor in a heartfelt apology.