I Blue : Reincarnated as a Cursed Crit-Based Swordwoman-Chapter 26: Limbo – Froschköning (1)

"But that's only because I hate sports," the girl added, gently closing her eyes.

"... Huh?"

The girl walked a little before stopping just in front of him. She then opened her cold dark eyes analyzing him from head to toes.

"If I didn't hate sports at first, then I think I would love them. Who wouldn't love something they are really great at? Why do you think geniuses are so good actually? They like what they are good at making them stronger than the average person. I would like to be like that too!"

The girl's answer stunned him. She would start liking something she didn't hate before, if she was suddenly good at it? Wait, did that mean he actually didn't hate violence? Was it really because he wasn't good at it? He had to get an answer somehow—this could be what decided if he was just an innocent with an opportunity or a truly horrible person.

"... Erm."

"Hm?"

"What if... you suddenly became good at a sport you used to hate and found out that you actually don't dislike it. Not really. Actually, you realized that you never hated it because you wanted to, but because you were bad at it. What would you do?"

The girl thought for a second and then replied flatly as if it was evident.

"I would play it."

"Even if that sport is... immoral?"

"What kind of sport are you talking... Ah, well that's fine."

She shrugged with a smirk.

"Ah, you just found out that you are a very envious person and a pervert. But do you know what a study showed? Most people are actually very envious and perverts."

"... Does that mean it is my nature? That I shouldn't fight it?"

"What are you talking about? Have you ever seen people walking on the streets with a sign saying 'I am an envious pervert'?"

"Oh... Should I hide then? That is an idea... Well, was."

"... I have no idea of what you did exactly, but yeah, you can hide if you want. That's the easy solution."

"I see..."

Yes. Maybe he should have embraced that part of darkness in him and just put a mask above it.

... No. He probably couldn't have. He didn't care about what the other thought—it was his own disgust with himself that sent him here.

"That being said, if you want to do it the hard way, you can also work to make yourself hate that thing," added the girl.

Noah looked at her, an eyebrow raised.

"Work to make myself hate it?" he asked, a mocking smile on his face.

The girl nodded, ignoring his reaction. "If you think it is that immoral, then don't do it! Try to find another sport to occupy yourself and that's it!"

"But..."

"No 'buts'! You aren't an animal, yes? If it goes against your principles, don't do it! You will suffer otherwise!"

It was so easy for her to say. He would not use violence at all if he was sure he wouldn't need it in the future. In fact, he now fully realized that he was never against it—he was just against its abuse.

"But what if I am forced to play it again?"

He realized that his true fear was to lose control again. To hurt people more than he could justify it to himself. That was his only fear.

Again, the girl took a moment to think about it before answering with her usual confidence. "Well, same as before. Work to not enjoy it."

"I can't."

"You can."

"I can't! What do you even know about it?! I know I will... I might have gone too far next time... if I didn't stop this, I would have probably caused... harm to other people. That's why—"

"I don't understand. Why are you even beating yourself over this? You clearly don't like to play that 'sport' of yours. Why would you react the way you do otherwise?"

"... But—"

"I mean, even I enjoy a match of basketball once in a century even though I hate the sport with passion. I don't believe it makes me a basket fan though. If I was suddenly good at basket, I still wouldn't like it, but I would actually play basket more often. Heck, it could even become the center of my career, eh? Though I still wouldn't like it."

"..."

The girl before him appeared almost radiant. Her words were simple and full of great pragmatism.

So what if he enjoyed beating those people up? He did regret it afterwards, didn't he?

Of course, regretting it didn't make him less of a culprit and his guilt was totally justified, but it didn't mean that he should be consumed by it. He made a mistake, a great one, but killing himself wasn't the solution.

What was he thinking? Killing the one who killed those servants? In which way was he better than them? Didn't he actually flee once again?

He was simply disgusted by himself and decided, all on his own, not to correct the problem at its core, but to give up and deem himself as unworthy of leaving.

Such arrogance. Such pettiness.

Could he really blame those people if he acted exactly as them? He was blinded by his own limited perception ignoring all those that would suffer from his decision.

First his family and his friends.

Now that pink haired maid and the one his new body belonged to.

He was just an egoist thinking about him and him alone. Even as he berated himself thusly, it was still an act of great arrogance—they were people that found in him and what he did more joy than he could ever paint in black with his dark thoughts.

"... You finally understood, huh?"

The girl gently hit his forehead with the ball blocking his vision. But it was fine—he didn't need to see her face to recognize her anymore.

"... Sorry, Vasilisa. I... wasted my life yet again. And your life too..."

Vasilisa put the ball into his hands with a smile on her face.

"As long as you understand..."

The source of this c𝓸ntent is freewebnøvel.coɱ.