I'm Not the Mastermind-Chapter 54

"Then, how do you feel?"

"My feelings..."

At those words, Alicia fell silent for a moment before turning to look at Yujin.

Yujin, his eyes still narrowed in that unreadable expression, was walking beside her.

She stared blankly at his face. She recalled those beautiful crimson eyes hidden beneath his ever-narrowed lids, the way they had gazed at her so seriously before. And as those memories surfaced, her chest swelled with an unfamiliar heat, her body growing warm on its own. Without thinking, she murmured,

"...It's enchanting."

"Enchanted, are you?"

"...Ah, ah!"

When Yujin glanced at her and repeated her words, she finally snapped out of her daze, jolting in surprise.

"I-I misspoke. I just meant… the garden under the moonlight, it feels enchanting."

"...I see. It certainly has its own charm."

It was an impression that only Yujin, a complete transcendent, and Alicia, who had become physically close to a demon, could share.

Of course, Alicia herself wasn’t being entirely truthful.

'...She’s more broken inside than I thought.'

And Yujin knew that as well.

The sticky emotions behind her gaze were something his senses vividly picked up.

At first, he had assumed it was simply the characteristic gloom of someone mentally worn down. But this feverish, almost delirious emotion, far hotter than mere sorrow—this, Yujin now understood all too well.

'I’ll need to start drawing boundaries.'

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And he knew this emotion was wrong.

Someone driven to the edge, suddenly encountering a person they could depend on, seeing the possibility of salvation—how could she not cling to that?

There was only one thing Yujin could do. He had to truly save her.

He had to make sure she no longer needed to rely on him.

'Let’s test the waters a little.'

First, he needed to gauge just how sincere she was about him. He spoke,

"Princess Alicia, have you ever thought about what you’ll do once all your problems are resolved?"

"…What? Once my problems are resolved…?"

"Yes. And by that, I mean after you successfully undergo demonic transformation without any issues and gain acceptance from society as you are."

At that, Alicia instinctively grew uneasy.

"Acceptance from society... Do you think people will ever accept me as a demon?"

"I have my own thoughts on that. Naturally, ensuring that outcome is part of my role."

"...I see."

Alicia understood his words.

It wasn’t just about becoming a demon while retaining her sense of self—it was about making sure that Alicia the demon could be acknowledged by the world.

Normally, even a transcendent wouldn’t be able to change the fact that all of humanity saw demons as a rejected existence. But for some reason, she felt that the man standing before her might be able to make it happen.

Yujin continued,

"By that time, Your Highness will have become a transcendent and will live for many years. Of course, you might decide to live like a human, set your own limits, and depart when you no longer have any regrets. But regardless, you should think about what kind of life you’ll lead once this issue is behind you."

"...A way of life?"

"Yes. This is something common to all patients. They endure, holding onto the hope of what they will do after their illness is cured. That hope is what keeps them going. So, thinking about this is also an important part of your treatment."

Yujin turned to look at her and continued,

"People who can’t imagine happiness in their future usually die early. If they have no vision of tomorrow, how can they endure the pain of living? If the future appears as nothing but a pitch-black void, they won’t be able to accept the idea of suffering through life for something that doesn’t exist."

"......"

"So, think about it. How will you live once everything is resolved? In what way will you find happiness? That kind of hope will be beneficial to your mental health. And it’s not an empty dream, is it?"

"...Happiness..."

Unintentionally, she recalled the days when her mother was still alive.

A sharp pain pierced her chest for a moment, but she shook her head. Her mother was gone now.

Then, how could she find happiness in the future?

As Alicia stood in a daze, lost in thought, an image of the man beside her came to mind. She turned to look at Yujin.

Beneath his jet-black hair, his perfectly sculpted features came into view.

Her gaze lingered on his face. In her mind, she began to paint a picture of the future.

She imagined Yujin holding her. She imagined him whispering words of love to her.

She imagined a life where they built a home together, forever by each other’s side.

'Ah…!'

A tingling sensation ran through her lower abdomen, and her heart pounded wildly. Her face turned a deep shade of red, glowing with intoxicated delight.

It felt as though her heart was melting like sugar, spreading warmth throughout her entire body.

Yes, this was it. This was happiness.

Just imagining such a future made her feel so full, so satisfied. If this future could become a reality, how blissful would she be?

As she stood there, smiling in a daze, Yujin spoke.

"One way or another, once all your issues are resolved, our connection will come to an end… From then on, Your Highness will have to live your own life. I won’t always be there to help you, so please think seriously about your future."

"...What?"

She froze.

What... did he just say?

"...C-could you repeat that...?"

"Ah, I suppose you were lost in thought and didn’t hear me. It’s nothing important. I simply meant that you have your own life to live, and I can’t always interfere. Once your issues are resolved, our contract will end. From that moment on, I will no longer be your physician but merely a professor at the academy. That will be the last of our connection."

At those words, the warmth that had melted her heart turned cold.

It was as if the situation had suddenly become distant and surreal.

Like she was experiencing an out-of-body moment, watching herself from a third-person perspective. Like reading about her own story in a book.

It all felt so unreal.

Yujin spoke again,

"Now, you have the luxury of considering your future, don’t you? Before our time together ends, I’ll do my best to help. Many people find themselves lost once their long-standing struggles are resolved. That’s why you should start thinking now."

"......"

"Even then, I won’t be able to interfere anymore, will I? So, please think it through now. No one else can decide how you’ll live your life—it’s something you have to determine for yourself."

She didn’t hear his words.

All she could hear was a buzzing in her ears, drowning out everything else. The world felt so distant, slipping further and further away from her grasp.

Was this how it had always been? Had he merely been fulfilling his role in their contract from the very beginning? Was she nothing more than a fleeting connection to him?

Had she misunderstood?

Looking back, he had only ever done his best as her physician. Had she simply been lost in a delusion of her own making?

…Like the fairy tale prince her mother used to read to her as a child?

No, if she really thought about it, she had always known. She had seen it countless times in her dreams—scenes where such a thing didn’t exist for her. She had even mocked her younger self for foolishly hoping otherwise.

She had never believed in it before.

So why now?

Why had she allowed herself to fall into such a sweet dream?

When she had been clinging to the edge of a cliff, the hand that had reached out to her had been warm and reassuring. She had grabbed onto it without hesitation, desperate for anything to hold onto.

But she had never considered what would happen once that hand pulled her up from the edge—only to let go.

'Ah...'

What a cruel person.

He had saved her from the brink of destruction—only to lead her into a barren wasteland where she was utterly alone.

If he had gone so far as to save her, shouldn’t he have held on to her until the end? Why was he trying to leave her behind?

If this was how it was going to be, it would have been better to remain hanging off the cliff. Even if she risked slipping and plummeting into the abyss, at least she could still cling to that hand.

Or perhaps… she never should have grabbed it in the first place.

Because the world without that hand felt too empty.

'…No, not yet.'

That’s right. She was still hanging on. He hadn’t let go yet.

That was all that mattered.

From now on, she would never let go.

She wouldn't let him go. No matter what.

"Professor."

She finally spoke, her voice calmer and lower than usual.

"Speak, Your Highness."

Of course, Yujin, who had deliberately brought up this topic to gauge Alicia’s response, could immediately sense the shift in her mood.

Alicia reached out her hand toward him.

"Hold my hand."

"That’s rather sudden. May I ask why?"

"Just do it."

But instead of answering, she demanded it in a tone that was almost forceful.

"......"

Yujin slowly narrowed his eyes, his crimson irises gazing at her intently.

"Princess Alicia von Arsedium, how are you feeling right now?"

"Why do you ask? And why are you addressing me like that? Call me like you always do. Or better yet, say my name."

Her voice was pleading, but Yujin remained unmoved.

"Your Highness, to be frank, you seem highly unstable right now. You should return and rest."

"I'm fine. So, please…"

She stepped forward, reaching out toward him.

But Yujin merely stepped back.

Alicia froze in place, her entire body going rigid.

"…Why are you avoiding me?"

"Because you’re about to cross a line."

"A line? I just asked you to hold my hand. You even escorted me before we left for this walk…"

"Unfortunately, right now, it doesn’t seem like all you want is to hold my hand."

"......"

"This is my fault."

At those words, Alicia trembled.

"I’ve allowed you to become too dependent on me. While I intended to be a pillar of support for you, I never meant for it to turn into this."

"What… do you mean?"

"Your feelings are misplaced, Your Highness. We’ll discuss why that is in due time, but for now, you should rest."

It wasn’t uncommon for psychiatrists to receive confessions from their patients. And when that happened, they didn’t reject the emotions outright—they examined them.

By identifying the source of the patient’s suffering, they could work toward resolving it. Once that root cause was addressed, those misplaced feelings would naturally fade away.

By the time treatment was complete, they would be gone entirely.

After Tiamat’s advice, Yujin had thought deeply about this. Just as she had said, delaying the issue wouldn’t help anyone.

When he recalled Alicia waiting for him at the door like an abandoned puppy suffering from separation anxiety, he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

So, he had deliberately led the conversation in this direction.

But Alicia’s emotions were darker and far more tangled than he had anticipated.

"…Misplaced?"

She looked at him with hollow eyes, as if she no longer understood what he was saying.

No—she could accept that her feelings were wrong.

But…

"You knew? You knew how I felt all along?"

"It’s my job to know."

"…Ha, ahaha…"

At that, she let out a laugh.

He had known.

He had known, and yet, he had still said all those things.

That once her problem was resolved, their connection would end.

That there would be no reason for them to be together anymore.

"…Don’t be ridiculous."

Like poison that had been festering for years, her emotions seeped through her, dissolving the very core of her being.

But unlike before, this poison wasn’t sweet.

It was unbearably bitter, dangerous, and utterly toxic.

Unlike mana, which was controlled by logic and reason, magi was a force that responded to emotions—especially dark ones.

Ssshh...

A faint wisp of magi leaked through the cracks in Yujin’s seal.

His eyes narrowed.

'This is dangerous.'

For him to drop formal speech in his internal thoughts—this was serious.

For magi to leak through the seal like this, it meant it was surging uncontrollably.

As he examined her more closely, he could tell—the magi within Alicia was raging violently.

The seal wouldn’t break.

Even this level of magi wasn’t enough to undo a seal reinforced by Tiamat’s mana.

But Yujin couldn’t predict what effect this overwhelming accumulation of magi would have on Alicia herself.

"There’s no helping it."

With a sigh, he half-lidded his eyes and murmured,

"『Sweet Dream』."

Thud.

A power-laced command struck the half-transcended Alicia, and her vision blurred. Her body swayed as she collapsed.

Yujin swiftly caught her before she could hit the ground.

He exhaled another sigh as he looked down at her unconscious form.

"Sleep well, Your Highness."

And thus, the first night of her stabilization treatment…

Ended in absolute disaster.