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L*ck Me If You Can-Chapter 45
Ashley shoved his hands deep into his pants pockets, just to resist the urge to reach out and pull Koi back into his arms.
“So,” he said casually, “why’d you run this time? Is it puberty again?”
“N-No,” Koi shook his head but couldn’t bring himself to look up. Why did it have to be Ashley, of all people? He wasn’t ready. He hadn’t even figured out what to do yet—and now he was caught off guard.
His heart wouldn’t stop pounding. He snuck a glance upward and just in time saw Ashley take his hands out of his pockets and cross his arms. The moment he saw it, Koi’s face drained of color.
Oh no. He’s mad at me, isn’t he? Of course he is—who wouldn’t be, after someone runs away the second they see you?
Koi looked utterly deflated. But while he panicked, Ashley was thinking something entirely different as he gazed down at him.
I want to hug him.
Even with his hands in his pockets, he could feel them itching to reach out. That’s why he crossed his arms—to stop himself. But even that wouldn’t hold out for long. He had to bring this to an end quickly.
“Koi.”
Ashley said his name again. Koi flinched, shoulders shrinking, and he rolled his eyes in every direction, too afraid to look up. Then suddenly, Ashley’s face leaned in close.
“Eep!”
“Where do you think you’re going?”
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Ashley grabbed both of Koi’s arms, pinning them in place with a grin. Koi was caught, frozen face-to-face with him. But contrary to his fears, Ashley didn’t look upset at all. In fact, he looked just like always, smiling warmly at him. Slowly, the panic in Koi’s chest began to fade.
I-Is it... okay?
He blinked, unsure, and Ashley spoke.
“I’m not mad. So don’t worry.”
His gentle voice sounded sincere. And when Koi continued to stare at him, Ashley smiled once more.
Thank god.
Koi finally relaxed, and with the tension gone, something else bubbled up in its place.
It’s Ash.
And the moment that thought crossed his mind, he felt it—his ears twitched. Horrified, Koi immediately clutched them.
His face flushed red. He’d promised himself yesterday—no more twitching ears. He swore it. And yet, the moment he saw Ashley, his ears had leapt with joy before he even realized it.
Nooo!
Embarrassed beyond belief, he nearly cried. But Ashley just laughed out loud. Koi looked like he might cry for real now, but even that face was too adorable for Ashley to handle. He felt an overwhelming urge to grab Koi and kiss him senseless.
Koi, how are you this cute?
Ashley stared at him—clutching his twitching ears, flailing, panicked—and thought:
I like you, Koi.
His heart was about to explode. He had never felt it beat this hard before. And °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° never had he been so helpless, standing in front of someone and doing nothing.
I want to hug him. I want to nibble those ears. What would it feel like to kiss those lips?
Ashley clenched his jaw, holding back a sigh. Instead of giving in to the temptation, he moved his hand and gently took Koi’s wrist. Koi looked up at him, face burning. Ashley’s head filled with dangerously tempting thoughts.
God, I want to drag him to my room and never let him out.
“We’ll be late for class, Koi.”
Barely pulling himself back from the brink of criminality, Ashley spoke in a gentle voice. Koi blinked.
“S-Sorry.”
He turned quickly to walk away, but Ashley caught up in a few strides and fell into step beside him.
“Did you get home okay last night? Nothing happened?”
“O-Oh. Yeah.”
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Ashley asked casually, but Koi’s heart was racing all over again. Does Ash visit that site too? What if he saw my post? No, no—guys like Ashley wouldn’t waste time on that kind of stuff. He’s got friends, classes, he’s the captain of the hockey team—he wouldn’t have time to browse random message boards, right?
If he had seen it, there’s no way he’d be acting this normal with me.
Koi convinced himself of this, and it felt true enough that he managed to calm down. But even so, the anxiety wouldn’t fully go away. He couldn’t hold back anymore.
“H-Hey, Ash...”
“Yeah?”
He responded immediately, and Koi cautiously continued.
“Well, um, when you do homework... do you ever, like, go to those sites online? You know, places where you can ask questions and stuff?”
Was this... entrapment? A roundabout interrogation?
Ashley almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it but kept a straight face and said,
“No, not unless it’s a legit site.”
“O-Oh, really?”
Koi looked relieved—only for his face to tense up again as he pressed on.
“W-What about, like, message boards? You know, where people post about their problems or whatever... You don’t go there either?”
“Nope.”
Ashley answered without hesitation. It was the truth—so there was nothing to feel guilty about.
“I don’t use sites like that. Reading that kind of stuff just isn’t my thing.”
“Oh, okay.”
Thank god. Koi let out a long sigh of relief. He was so glad he’d asked. Now he could finally breathe. Phew. He was just starting to relax when he heard something like birdsong. It was Ashley, whistling.
Koi glanced up at him.
“You seem really happy. Something good happen?”
“Hm? Nah. Same as always.”
Ashley flashed him a wide grin. Koi blinked in confusion but accepted the answer. Still, somewhere deep inside, he couldn’t shake the feeling—Ashley looked extra cheerful today.
Did I imagine it? he wondered, tilting his head.
He suddenly felt curious. Up until now, he hadn’t dared to check even a single comment on his post. His question remained unanswered, and there was still no one he could talk to—except, of course, the very person the post had been about.
What would Ash say if I asked him?
Koi looked up again. Even though he hadn’t said anything, Ashley looked right back at him and smiled. Their eyes met. Koi flinched and quickly turned away.
No way. Not happening.
His face flared up again as he thought,
How could I ever ask him that? Him, of all people? That’s impossible.
He should just be grateful Ashley hadn’t seen the post. Asking him about it directly? That was a line that could never be crossed.
Please, please—let Ashley never, ever see that post.
While Koi silently prayed, Ashley walked beside him, completely at ease, thinking:
I want to devour him.
*
Sure enough, the school was buzzing with gossip about the post. Naturally. The content itself wasn’t that unusual, but the subject was. A confession of a crush on the school superstar was exactly the kind of drama a high school crowd thrived on.
“Hey, did you guys see that post? The one on the board?”
“Cough!”
Right as Bill brought it up at lunch, Koi, mid-sip of water, choked hard and started coughing.
“Koi, you okay?”
Ashley looked over in concern, while everyone turned toward him. Koi waved them off, still coughing violently.
“I-I'm—cough—it’s just water—cough!”
Everyone watched him a moment longer, then resumed chatting among themselves.
“Totally Ash, right?”
“Right? You think so too? I knew it!”
“It’s gotta be Ash. The thing literally screams ‘Ashley Miller.’”
“So who is it? Anyone come to mind who’s close to Ash?”
Koi’s hands trembled as he peeled the wrapper off his burger. His ears were practically buzzing, and he couldn’t even feel the hunger anymore. He was trying hard to look unaffected when suddenly—
“Wait, it’s not Koi, is it?!”
The world stopped.
Koi’s blood ran cold, and his heart pounded so loudly it echoed in his ears. But before anyone could follow up—
“Hey, you guys wanna come over to my place tomorrow?”
“What?”
“Tomorrow?”
Just like that, the topic shifted. Koi blinked, stunned, and stared at Ashley. But Ashley kept his eyes on the hockey guys.
“It’s the weekend, right? No practice. So, what do you think?”
“Hell yeah!”
“Obviously! You even have to ask?!”
“Hey, can I bring my girlfriend too?”
Laughter and chatter broke out around the table. Still smiling, Ashley said,
“Or maybe we just invite anyone who wants to come. What do you think?”
“Huh? We can do that?”
“Doesn’t your place have a gate, though?”
It was a valid point, but Ashley wasn’t fazed.
“There’s a shared event space on the estate. It’s got an outdoor pool and everything. We can just use that. That entrance is easy to access.”
“Oh, nice!”
“Then more people can come.”
“How should we tell everyone? Just text our friends?”
Ashley grinned.
“Why not post it on the message board?”