Leanna-Chapter 248: [LEANNA] 1

1941 During World War II

Please . . .

Please . . .

Please . . .

I chant with my eyes closed while both arms covered my ears as my body curled, bringing my knees together closer to my head –– hoping to hide my presence.

Hoping to stop the shaking of my body.

Hoping to give me comfort in these dark days.

I gasped as my body jolted when an earth-shattering sound of booms shook the earth. Though I couldn’t see it, I could almost hear the peoples dying screams, the children’s cries, and the nauseating smell of burning flesh.

I wanted to scream.

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to vomit.

But I didn’t. I couldn’t.

The fear that any moment, my life would snap out corroded everything inside me. I didn’t have the time to think of others nor anything else. At this moment, I was praying for my safety. Nothing else matters.

The bombing stop and though we were far from the village, far from the province, far from the war, I imagined the black smoke, the suffocating smell of gunpowders and blood.

My stomach churned, and I vomited.

But what am I to vomit?

Nothing, but my saliva and the water I consumed.

For a month that I left my home for the refuge of the mountains, I never left this hut secluded in a cave, hidden in the mountain. This small shabby, tattered nipa hut made of bamboo, wood, timber, and cogon. Bringing with me a bag made of cloth, some preserved jars of food and grains, a messily leather pots of water, a pair of clothes, some blankets, and lamps for light. To last, I ate a quarter of a jar of nourishment once per day to get me by.

I wiped away the mucus, tears, and vomit from my face. With reddened eyes, I swept my surroundings. There were five people inside this hut, including me. Four girls and a boy escaped from their respective villages to seek refuge in this mountain.

I already lost my family, my parents, my brother, and my sister to this war. Some of the people in my village went to the shelter, but it was a wrong decision since it was air bombed a month ago when I was climbing higher in this mountain, away from all the battling and death in the village below.

We actually have someone else. The owner of this hut, a kind old man who let us seek shelter in his home. Who, once in a while, brought us something to eat from the forest and water from the stream. Although not much, it was a big help to stay alive for more days to come –– given the Axis army wouldn’t think of climbing the mountains for fun.

"W-where are you going?" asked Luz, who was still shaking, holding her little sisters in each arm. Luz was the second oldest next to Old Mang Totoy. She’s twenty-four, older than me by four years.

"W-water," I answered in a daze.

She didn’t stop me. I forced myself to go outside with my legs shaking, embracing my one-liter empty leather jar of water. I couldn’t wait for old man Totoy anymore as I was dying of thirst. I hadn’t drunk water since morning, and I didn’t know when the old man would return.

With trembling and cautious steps, I went down the mountains towards the stream. I only hope that the local soldiers and foreign enemies were fighting each other at a village, away from the mountain.

I embraced the leather jar with one hand while my free hand held the lamp, steadying it from my shaking hands. I forced my eyes to see beyond the darkness while I gave my all not to make any stepping noises. But the leaves were dry, and the crunching rackets echoed whatever I did.

It was approximately four hours walked down the mountain to the river. My only comfort was, it was dark and I had the advantage of knowing the terrain if something did come up.

My breathing hitched, and I raised my lamp when I heard something like the rustling of dried leaves. My hand released the leather jar, and I seized a small knife in my pocket.

Extending the knife, I held my breath and approached the shadow leaning on a tree.

"O-o-old man . . . ?"

I called despite my trembling mouth. My tears welled in my eyes from nervousness and fear.

The shadow moved. I stop.

"O-old man . . . ?" I called again.

When the shadow remained static, I grabbed what little courage left in me and walked forward.

I didn’t know why, my body was shaking, but my legs remained steady as if something was pulling me towards the shadow.

I stopped when I was ten meters from it. With a shaky hand, I aimed my light in that direction. I gasped, my eyes popping from their sockets when I was greeted with frosty cold orbs and silver hair. But my amazement was replaced by fear when I saw his clothes.

I was so scared I dropped everything and backed away. I stumbled and landed on my butt. Fear took its hold, and I crawled away from him.

Enemy!

A soldier from the Axis!

I didn’t know what came over me. My survival instinct took control, and I grabbed my dagger and lamp and stood to my feet while pointing my weapon at the man.

My heart was the only thing keeping me awake with its thunderous thumping, jolting my body alive while my heavy breathing mixed with insects sound and the gushing of the gentle stream where the only noise disturbing the stillness of the forest.

My sweat trickled down my forehead as seconds passed, but the man remained unmoved and silent, and that was when I noticed that one of his hands was pressed against his stomach. I took a sharp intake of air when I saw blood all over his clothes.

He continued to stare at me while his eyes dimmed, though it remained serious and cold –– warning and threatening.

I bit my lip as my tears fell without stopping.

I have to kill him . . .

I have to kill him . . .

If the enemy knew the locals were hiding in this mountain . . .

I closed my eyes tight. Not daring to think what would happen if they actually found out. Killing us was mercy, but I knew the women would have it harder. They would become the enemy’s bed warmer during this war.

Kill him.

Kill him!

I shook my head.

He’s dying. If I leave him here, he’ll die anyway.

But what if someone looked for him and found him alive? What then?

Though the war was happening in the village and other bigger villages a few kilometers from here, I still saw some soldiers at the foot of the mountain, surveying the perimeters. And sometimes, some would even drink at the stream. So none of us dared to venture down to get water during the day.

I was pulled out from my thoughts when the man coughed up blood. I didn’t know what happened next, I found myself standing in front of him –– hypnotized by his frosty cold eyes.

"Ubey menya . . ."

He muttered, not hiding the gruffness in his tone. Like it was so hard to even talk. But the power in his voice almost knocked me off my feet.

"What?"

His brows twitched. He must think that I was an uneducated, uncivilized, savaged girl. Not like them, the white ones, who think they were all educated and refined.

Well . . .

Alright, I admit that I’m illiterate and look uncivilized and savaged with my dark skin and exotic face coupled with my brown eyes and long wavy chocolate hair and dirty, tattered clothes.

But still . . .

My parents, our village, made sure that every woman in our settlement knew how to cook, sew, heal the wounded. Knew how to take care of the house while the men hunted for food.

"Kill me . . ."

His words snapped me out of my thought as my jaw dropped when he spoke our language.

Wow.

This guy must have a higher standing in the military.

Mere soldiers wouldn’t need the effort to learn our language. Either the guy was a general, lieutenant, or a strategist.

"Kill me . . ."

He repeated as I just stared at him, unmoving with my dagger pointing at him.

Kill him!

Kill him!

My brain shouted.

And then? After I kill him? Then what?

Can I live with it?

Can I live with myself knowing that I killed a defenseless man?

Kill him! If you don’t, he will be the death of you! He’s dying anyway! Might as well bring him out of his agony!

Yes, I have to kill him.

I have to.

He’s an enemy.

I have to . . .

My chest rose and fell as I closed my eyes when the ground seemed to be moving, and the surrounding itself circled before me.

I’m going to kill him!

. . .

. . .

Who am I kidding?

I can’t do it!