Leave Me Alone, Big Brothers! [BL]-Chapter 99: You Still Love Me?

Alexander walked to his room after visiting Lucas, who was already asleep. He felt so guilty for letting all this happen.

Lucas, how many times had he tried to bring in a psychiatrist? Lucas wouldn’t let anyone from outside help him overcome his fears.

Alexander felt mentally exhausted.

When he arrived in front of the room, he saw Huan standing by the door. He walked past him and opened it.

"You not sleep?" Alexander asked.

"Do you have time to talk?" Huan replied.

Alexander nodded, asking Huan to come in.

"How is he?" Huan asked quietly.

"Who? Nathan? Sleeping, finally," Alexander replied, his voice raspy. He walked toward the sofa.

Alexander looked at Huan seriously. "Were you left hungry at the orphanage?"

"As far as I know, you should not be hungry. But you know it depends on the orphanage, because usually they survive on donations and government aid."

Alexander rubbed his temples. He felt really guilty imagining that Nathan might have gone hungry several times while he himself had plenty of food. That feeling weighed heavily on his heart.

Then he looked at Huan. "What do you want to talk about?"

Huan cleared his throat. "About Louis..."

Alexander knew immediately.

"I know you’re close to him," Alexander interrupted. "But he made a mistake twice. I told him once before, there are no second chances when it comes to my brothers. I will not tolerate incompetence. Because of him, Nathan is now sick."

Huan looked down. He strongly opposed this dismissal. He knew how much Louis needed this job, and the man was like a younger brother to him.

"You’re going to end up losing every loyal soul. You know how loyal Louis is to you," Huan said.

Then he continued, "It’s not easy to guard teenagers who are determined to be reckless. It wasn’t Louis’s mistake. It was Nathan’s choice. Louis would have died for him, and you know it."

"He had one job," Alexander turned, his eyes cold and hard. "I warned him."

"Please, stop being so harsh," Huan snapped without realizing it. "You spend your whole life condemning Sir Antonio, talking about how much you hated his methods. Don’t you see it, Alex? You’re becoming his mirror image. You’re his perfect copy."

The room went deathly silent. Alexander’s grip tightened on the sofa. "What did you say?"

"I know Louis. He’s the best we have with a gun, and he’s faster than anyone when things get ugly. This situation isn’t fully his fault, and you’re destroying a man’s livelihood to satisfy your own need for control."

Huan stepped closer, his face flushed. "Please, I beg you, be considerate for once in your life. You can’t just push all your men away like they’re broken parts of a machine. Stop being so heartless, so cold, so... so confusing!"

Huan felt his chest tighten, he could hardly breathe. He didn’t know if he was saying it for Louis or if he was actually venting his own emotions.

Alexander listened and didn’t explode. Instead, he tilted his head, watching Huan with a look of dark amusement. He had never heard the man speak so bluntly.

"You dare say all this because you’re leaving?"

Huan took a deep breath. "I’m saying it because it’s the truth. You really are an asshole sometimes, Alexander. And no, I’m not the one ’leaving’ you. You are the one pushing me out."

"Asshole? That’s quite rude, Mr. Holster," Alexander murmured, standing up and stepping into Huan’s personal space. "And no, I’m not pushing you away. YOU are resigning. Just because... I didn’t let you sleep with me?"

"It was never about that!" Huan snapped, raising his voice slightly. "It’s about how you treat me like trash! Like an asset you can use and then put back in the drawer!"

"Trash?" Alexander’s brow arched. "I’ve spent every night with you. Every day. If I thought you were trash, I wouldn’t have done it, believe me. Or is it because I tied you up every night? But didn’t you enjoy it? You moaned, didn’t you? You were satisfied. We were good."

Huan’s face turned a deep shade of red, a mix of shame and fury. "Stop it! Please don’t talk about it like that. Why can’t you see the real problem? Is sex the only metric you have for a relationship?"

"Huan, Huan—"

"You’re really hopeless," Huan cut him off, his voice trembling now. "You don’t care about anyone’s feelings, just your own ego. You’re so selfish. A selfish, arrogant bastard—"

"Wow," Alexander whispered, actually stunned into a brief silence. "I didn’t know you had that much fire left in you."

Huan looked away, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. He felt a brief flash of regret for the insults, but he didn’t take them back. "I’m not holding myself back anymore."

Alexander walked even closer, and this time, Huan stepped back until his heels hit the desk. Alexander reached out, his hands gripping Huan’s waist, pulling him forward so their chests touched. "You still love me, don’t you?"

"It doesn’t matter right now," Huan whispered, trying to turn his face away.

"Then why leave like a teenager?" Alexander’s voice dropped to a low, vulnerable frequency he rarely used. "If the sex is good and the life is stable, why go?"

Huan finally looked at him, and the pain in his eyes was enough to make Alexander flinch. "Because you never love me, Alex. You see me as a convenience. You see me like you see Louis, someone who can be replaced the moment I become ’inconvenient.’ You don’t want a partner, you want a pet you can control."

Alexander’s grip tightened. He hated this. He hated being seen through. He hated feeling vulnerable.

"You push me away whenever you feel too much," Huan continued, his voice breaking. "You grab me when you’re lonely. I have a heart, Alex. I’m not a toy."

Huan took a shaky breath, looking back toward the door. He pushed Alexander’s body away.

"And about Louis... please. Don’t fire him. He has a sister in the hospital and debts he’s been paying off. If you kick him out now, he has nothing. After all, he is a good bodyguard."

Alexander stayed silent, his face a mask of iron, but his thumbs traced the fabric of Huan’s shirt. He was terrified of the rejection he saw in Huan’s eyes, so he did the only thing he knew how to do, he held on tighter, refusing to let his lifeline leave the room.

He wanted to scream, ’please, don’t go!’ but he couldn’t say it until Huan left the room.

Alexander took a deep breath, punched the table hard, then pressed both hands to his head. His chest rebelled, his head was full, he wanted to scream, but he just sat for hours in the same position.

"Damn, I’m so fucking tired," he muttered softly.