Leveling Up by Seducing Milfs-Chapter 179. The First Tear in Fifty Years

Nerissa looked at each team member in turn, just like she had done with Rick, but this time she was looking at their emotional history instead of their power.

Nerissa looked at Zara first and said, "The Demon General Zara Bloodthorn."

"The wife of Demon King Zork... the corruption took your husband after 42 years of marriage, and you know what the meaning of loss is."

Zara then falls speechless without saying any word. It’s a normal reaction when someone says something like that out of the blue.

Nerissa felt Sylvia’s presence through Rick’s bond, somehow sensing the Dragon Queen miles away on the surface. "The Dragon Queen... Sylvia Flameheart."

"Five hundred years ago, her mate named Therion died a hero in the war, and until then... she spent forty years alone before Rick Rolland came into her life."

"She also knows what the meaning of grief is as well."

Rick starts to feel uneasy hearing many accurate words come out of her mouth.

"High Priestess Liora Sunweaver." Nerissa locked her gaze at Liora. "You gave up personal wants for faith and service."

"All those thirty-eight years serving Divine Gods, Goddesses, and Mothers while other people built families... you know what it means to do your duty without joy."

"... ..." Liora was silent hearing that, she didn’t want to answer or anything.

"Knight-Captain Carmilla Crimsonford," Nerissa glanced at Carmilla. "Five years ago, her husband died in battle..."

"You know what it’s like to move forward when you’re empty inside."

Carmilla just nodded and didn’t say any word.

Lastly, Nerissa stared at Natasha. "Ice Mage Natasha Ravenscar,"

"You lost someone important when you were young..."

"You protect that memory by shutting off your feelings and building walls of ice around your heart so that nothing can hurt you again."

Rick was shocked to learn something he didn’t know, and he felt Natasha’s shock through their connection.

Rick thought. "H-How the fuck did Nerissa find out about that...? Natasha never talked about what had happened to her before."

Nerissa’s focus went back to Rick. Her voice was still flat, but her words were like magic blades. "You all know what it’s like to lose something, but do you get what betrayal means?"

"It’s not the kind of betrayal on the battlefield, where an enemy lies to you. And it’s also not political treachery, where your opponent outsmarts you."

"I’m talking about betrayal in a close relationship."

She moved closer, and now she was only five feet away. "The kind that takes two hundred years to happen."

"The kind where your partner keeps a secret relationship with another woman for two hundred years while pretending to build a kingdom with you."

"The kind where you find out he had seventeen kids with someone else while you had three hundred kids with him, thinking you both had the same dream and vision."

For the first time, her voice shook, but it was only a tiny crack in the flat delivery. "The kind that makes you kill seventeen innocent kids because their very existence shows that everything you’ve done in your life was a lie!" 𝓯𝙧𝙚𝒆𝙬𝙚𝒃𝙣𝙤𝒗𝓮𝓵.𝙘𝙤𝙢

"The kind that makes you feel nothing as you kill them one by one because you’re already dead inside..."

One step closer, and it’s already three feet now. "The kind that completely empties you out so that you keep oceanic wards protecting billions of lives out of habit and duty, not hope, belief, or anything that looks like real care for those lives."

Rick could hear Sebastian’s voice in his head, urgent and serious. "She’s challenging you."

"What she just said was also a test, and... she wants you to understand, but she won’t accept shallow sympathy or polite words."

"Try to go deep to gamble for a pig prize or fail completely."

Rick looked straight into those empty blue eyes and made his choice. "Yes..."

"I do understand that... well enough."

Nerissa’s eyes narrowed for the first time, and real curiosity broke through the numbness.

"Explain."

Rick stopped pretending to be diplomatic and went for pure honesty, which made him very open about it. "I died alone at the age of 24 in my past life."

"I had a heart attack at three in the morning while watching MILF porn because I was too scared and socially anxious to talk to real women."

The people in the court gasped. All of the ocean dwellers didn’t have a prude culture, but they were still shocked by how honest it was.

"I shut myself off from everyone for years just to tell myself that I wasn’t good enough to connect with other people."

And I have this feeling that trying would only lead to rejection and embarrassment. That’s why I stopped."

"I gave up on trying to connect by suppressing my emotions, and as a result, I let myself down by giving up on life before it even truly began."

He pointed to all his partners who were standing behind him. "These women didn’t save me because I was special, destined, or chosen by prophecy as the Hero of Mature Hearts."

"They helped me because I was making an effort. I was clumsy and awkward, constantly stumbling and making mistakes, yet genuinely trying to connect, despite my fears."

Rick looked right at Nerissa, bringing them closer together by less than three feet. "You are completely right that my betrayal is not the same as yours."

"Only fear and loneliness made me betray myself."

"For two hundred years, Typhon lied to you and cheated on you, all while having seventeen secret children... the scale is very different, and we can’t compare them with each other’s pain."

Nerissa’s posture got a little stiffer, which was the second real reaction she had shown.

Rick kept going, his voice steady but not aggressive. "But here’s what I know for sure..."

"Your Majesty, you haven’t felt anything for fifty years. You’ve merely acted as a ruler without truly experiencing life."

"For twenty-four years, I did the same thing. And I can tell you from my own experience that it doesn’t fix anything."

He moved closer, aware that if she wanted to kill him for his presumptuousness, she could do so easily. "It just makes the pain last longer, because every day you avoid feeling is another day of emotions you’ll have to confront later."

"And what about fifty years of unfelt grief, rage, and despair?"

His voice got quiet. "That’s a lot of pain waiting for you when you finally break."

The throne room was completely quiet. Every ocean dweller held their breath, which made their gills stop moving. Nerissa looked at Rick with such intensity that the water around them felt heavy.

Nerissa’s hands began to shake slightly, not significantly, but they were definitely moving in a way they hadn’t in fifty years.

Then a single tear fell from her left eye.

It floated slowly to the ceiling, even though it was lighter than seawater and drifted up in the water.

Everyone in the court gasped at once. Several attendants put their hands over their mouths. Some of them started to cry, letting go of tears they had been holding back for decades.

Thalor’s voice sounded choked and broken. "Mother... when was the last time you cried?"

"I can’t even remember seeing you cry."

Nerissa’s whisper, which was soft, carried across the throne room. It was the first time in fifty years that her voice had real emotion in it.

"I... don’t know how to feel anymore..."

She stared at her shaking hands as if they belonged to someone else. "I can’t remember what it was like before I went numb... before the duty took over everything."

"And before... I killed those kids and didn’t feel anything at all."

Her voice broke all the way through. "I don’t even know if I’m still an ocean dweller or just a magical construct that keeps wards up because of programming and not by choice."

Sebastian’s voice was urgent and serious, and it only spoke to Rick. "This is it..."

"After being frozen for fifty years, she’s breaking. Everything will depend on what you do next, so don’t let this chance go to waste."

Rick reached out to Nerissa, which was a brave move because touching an empress without permission usually meant death. "Then let me help you remember what it feels like."

The whole room with the throne froze. Rick’s hand reached out into the water between them.

Nerissa looked at it like it was a weapon or a lifeline, not sure which. That one tear floating in the space between them was proof that fifty years of repressed feelings were starting to show.

Some hundred kids saw their mother feel something for the first time in their adult lives.

Typhon sat still on his cursed throne in the background, staring at nothing. He was stuck in his own punishment for betraying the empire’s heart.

Rick gulped while saying his death in his mind. "If I die today... I just want to let you all know..."

"I’m happy to die by a MILF..."