MTL - A World Worth Protecting-Chapter 1457 It's finally an illusion

Where am I lying?

Why is it dark all around...

Vaguely, I seem to hear someone talking, but I can't clearly hear what the other person is saying.

I'm a little tired, forget it, don't listen to it, I think I should disappear soon, but before I disappear, I always have to think about my life.

My whole life... is actually quite interesting.

I never knew who I was.

Therefore, I naturally don't know what my name is.

Maybe, I don't have a name.

It's strange, how can there be people without names? In my cognition, it seems that everyone in this world has his own name.

But unfortunately, I didn't.

I can't remember why this happened, but there is a little vague memory, it seems... Some day long ago, I gave my name to someone else.

Willingly.

I feel so stupid, why would I willingly give my name away...

I don't know, maybe there is a reason.

Alas, my thoughts seem to be a little confused, let me stroke it... It is true that these things will always echo in my thoughts, which seem to be very important, but I can't remember it, I just can't remember it, there is no way.

All I can think of is my childhood.

My childhood, I define it as the life before the age of twenty. In this ordinary world, I have experienced school, experienced play, and experienced games that seem naive again and again, just like other children.

But people around me always seem to tell me to study hard, to do this, to do that... I was a little bored at first, until one day, when I watched the rain falling from the sky, I suddenly wondered why it rained. What is it again.

My teacher gave me the answer to this question. Perhaps from that day on, I was full of curiosity about the world and everything. I like to ask why and get answers. That would make me very satisfied.

For this satisfaction, I began to study earnestly and study earnestly. It seems that there is a desire to push me, let me get all the unknown things.

Every time I gain new knowledge, every time I unlock a why, I will be very happy, very happy, I think I seem to be a lot different.

Perhaps it is because it is too ordinary, so I am more obsessed with this kind of difference that I think, so I study harder to master all the knowledge I can master.

This kind of life lasted until I was 20 years old. At that time, I always wanted to show it, whether it was in front of a friend, in front of a teacher, or in front of the opposite sex.

I always seem to want to show my own difference. Even deep in my heart, I always feel that I am different from others.

Even though... I don't have a distinguished appearance, no rich family, just a very ordinary existence among all living beings, but this doesn't affect my heart, there is a bird living in it.

This little bird, flying in the sky, free and easy, is my sustenance and the wings that make me feel different.

In the final analysis, I was a bit polarized at that time. The leap of thought and the ordinaryness of reality made me like silence many times.

It was also at that time that I met a girl, a classmate of my next class, and also the first secret love in my life.

Secret love is happy, and secret love is also bitter.

But I am willing.

Because, it makes me more like to express myself, all the time... I still remember that time, it seems that expressing myself is an instinct in my life, I even long to be a hero, to be the darling of this world, and to be able to be All the attention has attracted her attention.

Therefore, every time I gave a speech, I was very hardworking and obsessed, until this crush was over.

It died without a problem, and the other party didn't know it in the end, I was in a crush on her.

On the day of graduation, I was very sad, and I had plucked up the courage, but in the end... I lowered my head silently, maybe it was a curse, and I still fell in love again in the higher halls of study afterwards.

During this period, I also fell in love with fortune-telling. Every time I was unhappy, I would find a fortune-teller, sit in front of him, and take out a little money.

There is a small trick here, that is, you can’t give it first, and then you can reap countless praises, countless praises, countless good deeds and other words, which will make me especially happy, so that after the end, Give your pocket money to the fortune-teller.

This kind of life lasted for a few years. Before graduation, I received the first love letter in my life. I was very happy, but I didn't like that girl.

Until after graduation, I had my own job, and my impulse for self-expression seemed to have reached its culmination at this time, so I worked hard, performed hard, and tried to gain recognition.

That period of life, recalled now, is also quite interesting, because in my hard work, I met a girl, and we fell in love.

Love is a cup of bitter coffee.

Although it is bitter, it is also sweet, but at the end of the drink... It seems that it is not clear whether it is more bitter or sweeter.

My first love is over.

It was also at that time that I learned the cigarettes in this world, and I was also attracted by the wines of this world. Since then, cigarettes and wine have become a part of my life.

I am still working hard, but the impulse in my heart seems to have faded a lot with the years. It is also at this time that, for some reason, the opposite **** around me has increased.

The second love, the third love, the fourth love, a cup of bitter coffee, seem to be connected together, let me drink again and again, until one day, I met a woman, tall Being tall, smiling with crescent eyes, I feel very comfortable.

I thought, maybe this is the last cup of coffee I drank in my life.

We fall in love, we get married.

At that time, I felt that at a glance I could see how I looked when I was old, very relaxed, comfortable, and beautiful...

Until a certain day after a few years, the mirror broke, and the marriage came to an end at this time.

Can't tell who is right and who is wrong, and can't tell who is complaining.

Pain, struggle, gritted teeth, metamorphosis... became the main theme of my time. The little bird in my heart also flew higher at this time, touching the sun and gaining sunshine.

Maybe destiny likes to joke with people. Later in my life, there were many opposite sexes in my world. Some of them are tall, some are gentle, some are gentle, some are overbearing... They are all beautiful, all excellent, they are in groups. The arrival and the departure in groups, while repeating the cycle, also made me a little confused.

Because in the end... what I picked up from it was a cup of bitter coffee, like smoke and wine.

Smoke hurts the lungs.

Alcohol hurts the liver.

The opposite sex... sad.

But I still like cigarettes, still like wine, still have a longing for love...

Until, when I was forty years old, I suddenly realized that compared to the opposite sex, I actually prefer to chat with friends, talk about the past, and point to the future.

Whenever I drink, I like to pull my friends, brag together, laugh together, tease together, like a teenager together.

Perhaps it is this change that makes my friends more and more, I listen to their stories, they also listen to my stories, we talk freely, we tell.

There may be some precautions, and perhaps some secrets, but it does not matter, happiness is the most important thing.

At that time, I knew that everyone was a book, everyone had a story, everyone...in fact, from the bottom of their hearts, they were all alone.

And the more I know, the less lonely I seem to be.

Among my friends, there are men and women, there are old and young, and all kinds of education exist, but it does not matter. A sincere smile is the power to break everything.

Gradually, more and more friends like to talk to me.

Gradually, my smile became brighter.

Gradually, I seemed to find a way to make myself happy.

To tell you, during that period of my life, beyond seeking knowledge, transcending performance, transcending love, became the most important part of me.

This is a kind of sharing, maybe it is the inner squeeze to a certain extent, the water overflows by itself, not only I need it, but many people... all need it.

In this sharing and narration, I have gone through year after year. I don’t know when I don’t like to narrate anymore. I began to pursue comfort. This comfort includes spirit and material.

I think it was when my hair started to turn white.

I am no longer limited to what to do or what to think. I will think about and finish everything that makes me feel comfortable. I start to like to watch the blue sky, to watch the white clouds, and to watch the sunrise. , But I don’t like sunset.

But the starry sky in the dark night, I also like it.

I like to sit in a rocking chair, have a drink, take a book at will, read it, enjoy the air, enjoy the time, and enjoy everything.

I no longer stay up late, I started to get up early.

I am no longer obsessed with the why of everything, because I have many answers.

I don't want to show anymore, because I see it too thoroughly.

I don't keep talking about it, because that would be annoying.

I don't think about the opposite **** any more, because looking at them, I just smiled, and there may be some memories in my eyes, but the figures in the memories, maybe I am not clear.

The only thing I pursue is to make myself a little more comfortable and feel more stable. It seems that everything in this world has become better in my eyes.

This kind of life lasted for a long time...Until one day, I touched my face and felt a lot of wrinkles. I looked at my hands and saw a lot of wrinkles and patches.

My eyes have also become darker, and everything around me has also become blurred, but looking at me in the mirror, I am still working hard to straighten my body, and the smile is still beautiful.

It's just...outside the mirror, I know, I'm scared.

I have become very timid, I have become very cautious.

I know what I am afraid of, because sometimes after waking up at night, I seem to be able to see the figure transformed by the breath of death, silently looking at me outside the window.

It seems that they are calling me and waiting for me.

I don't want to follow them.

Even among them, some of them are old friends of mine.

I don't want to see them, I am scared.

I don't want to die, I want to live, live all the time... This urge to survive makes me sometimes feel uncomfortable breathing.

At this time, I will pay attention to those old friends who are still there, and tell them to pay attention to their bodies and to care about their health, because...I don't want to see them go away.

This makes me more breathless and more afraid of death.

People, why should there be death?

I often think about this question, and I am also thinking about what I am afraid of, is it really afraid of death...

The answer is yes.

But behind this affirmative answer, I have another answer.

I am afraid of being alone.

I'm gone, I will be alone.

I will be alone if they are gone.

This fear of death and fear of loneliness turned into a force that seemed to fill my whole body to support my existence, but... my body seemed to be riddled with holes. After this force emerged, At the speed that I can see with my naked eyes, it follows the sores and dissipates.

I want to keep them, but I can't do it.

It seems that I don't even have the strength to get up. I feel the breath of death has filled me. My desire, everything about me, seems to be disappearing.

At that moment, I suddenly understood a truth.

Fear is of no use.

That day, I remember, I seemed to have strength again, so I sat up hard, dressed myself neatly, walked to the yard, to my rocking chair, and finally I sat on the rocking chair and watched the sunset in the distance.

The autumn breeze was blowing, and it was icy, causing the branches in the yard to shake slightly.

On that branch, in this season, only a yellow leaf remained, curled up, insisting that it did not fall.

I looked at the sunset and the only leaf on the branch. I suddenly felt that all this was very beautiful. Gradually...I smiled.

In this smile...I saw the setting sun set, I saw the moment when the dusk passed, the only leaf on the branch fell down.

Floating and fluttering... just like my rocking chair.

Until, it floated in front of my eyes, covered my eyes, covered all the light, and brought the world to an end in my eyes.

But my consciousness did not seem to dissipate.

It’s pitch black all around me, I don’t know where I am, maybe I’m still on the rocking chair...

It is precisely because my consciousness is still there that...that's why I have this memory of my life.

I think my life may not be wonderful for others, but for me, this is my only one.

It was at this time that I seemed to hear the call again, I heard the voice...

It seems that someone is calling me to wake me up...

But I can't hear it clearly, I can only recognize it by my feelings, and the voice is somewhat familiar, as if I had heard it in a time before.

"What is he saying…"

"Speak louder, I can't hear." I opened my mouth hard in the darkness. Perhaps it was my hard work that worked. Gradually, when my consciousness was about to blur, my voice became clearer.

"Hope...you can live forever and be free."

My thoughts shook suddenly!

"Hope...you can live forever and be happy."

My consciousness has set off a huge wave!

"Hope...you can live forever and never forget your original intention."

There is a roar from my heart! !

"Hope...you can live forever and be happy and beautiful."

My soul shakes the star ring! !

"Finally, I will give you the name Wang Baole." The moment a familiar voice came into my ears... the eyes of the body floating in the starry sky... suddenly opened! !

"My name is... Wang Baole!"

Final

Thick Saturn ring.

In the emptiness of the starry sky, Wang Baole stood silently in the place where he was awakened, with deep complexity in his eyes, staring into the distance blankly for a long time... He raised his hand and touched his eyebrows.

After a while, Wang Baole sighed softly, as if he had known it a long time ago, put down his right hand and grabbed it far away. A bead and a wine gourd appeared in front of him.

Looking at the beads, Wang Baole was silent for a long time, raising his left hand and gently holding it.

The size of the bead is exactly three inches from the palm of the palm. It is his all and his world.

In the end, he picked up the hip flask with his right hand, put it to his mouth, and took a big swig...bitterly shook his head, and silently walked to the distant star sea.

His back, lonely and bleak, the farther he goes, the farther he goes.

"This lonely road, let's go on..."

It's finally an illusion

Who is the gift and who is the robbery...

End of the book