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MTL - The Words of the Number One-Chapter 44 repent
The candles were dimly lit, and the night was dark.
When I woke up, it was the middle of the night, and Ji Yu fell asleep in front of me under the flickering candlelight. We all slept in our clothes, and I was covered with a thick blanket, but he didn't cover anything. He seemed to curl up coldly, grabbing my wrist, just like every time before.
This is Ji Yu's room, Ji Yu's bed, and Ji Yu's blanket.
I stared blankly at Ji Yu's sleeping face for a long while, and when the dryness and stinging pain in my eyes brought me back to my senses, I slowly remembered what had happened.
I got drunk and I cried a lot.
Ji Yu hugged me, but as soon as he let me go I started crying again. Perhaps he was helpless, and carried me back to his room.
I actually cried like this, I thought I really accepted it and didn't mind anymore. But it turns out that I have been so sad in my heart, and I am really good at deceiving myself.
My mind was dizzy, and even the fragments of memory intermittently seemed like dreams and reality. It's as if I was lying on the bed but grabbed his sleeve and refused to let go. He also lay down and wiped my tears with the sleeve of the other hand. The best purple silk twill fabric is dark and light. water stains.
When he was assassinated last time, my blood had already ruined one of his clothes.
He asked me - why are you crying?
He also asked me - do you hate me, hate me?
I didn't seem to speak from the beginning to the end, but just stared at him intently, as if he would disappear if I spoke in the blink of an eye. He just laughed, with a hint of loneliness in his smile.
"No, you don't hate me. You always hate no one and expect no one."
"If you can hate me for a while."
He wiped my tears, and suddenly laughed out loud: "How will your eyes be swollen tomorrow morning? It must be extremely ugly, I'm afraid even Shen Baiwu would despise you...By the way, you asked him to call you Jiujiu? You I really like him."
His phoenix eyes are slightly raised, which is somewhat ironic.
Hearing the word Jiujiu, I suddenly spoke, and I called him in a low voice: "Ayao."
Ji Yu frowned and poked my eyebrows: "Shut up, what a bad habit you learned from Gu Ling."
I immediately closed my mouth obediently, and Ji Yu smiled with satisfaction, and babbled a few words to himself, and finally he said: "You are going to be broken like this, it's good to be broken. Go to sleep, Close your eyes, I can't run away."
It's a pity that I didn't have the fragments as he wished, although I can't be sure whether these pictures are real or my fantasy.
Ji Yu in the picture looks thin and lonely, yet gentle.
I was trying to recall what happened when I was drunk, but Ji Yu, who was sleeping in front of me, slowly frowned. His hand holding my wrist tightened slightly, and his body began to tremble uncontrollably, showing an expression of uneasiness and pain. The mouth is low and I don't know what to say, chaotic and hurried like a wounded child.
He is having nightmares again.
The "Changle" played by the fake luthier not only brought back Gu Ling's painful memories, but also Ji Yu's pain. In fact, he can't bear to be stimulated, and he will fall into a nightmare again if he is a little stimulated.
I moved my wrist, and he would hold my wrist tightly every time he had a nightmare.
We are so strange.
I only dare to love him desperately when I am drunk, and he will hold me tightly and refuse to let go only when I am dreaming.
How could there be such bizarre people as us in this world.
Do you love me? do you like me? do you care about me
Or is it the kind of concern that you just throw it away if you want to throw it away, use it if you want to use it, and only care about it if you want to lure me to like you thousands of times?
I care about you, I like you, I love you.
But I don't believe you.
I never believe you.
But I love you.
I pulled my wrist out of his hand little by little, watching him frowning and struggling in pain, ups and downs in the nightmare. So I took his trembling fingers in both hands and said in the softest voice I could, "You will be saved, you will be saved."
When his breathing finally slowed down again, his brows relaxed. I approached him and secretly kissed his lips. It was still the familiar scent of cypress wood, and the warm and moist touch was like a memory.
"But the person who saved you will not be me."
I will not try to forget you in this life anymore, I will remember everything about you until the day I die. It's such a joy to have something so precious in this world besides my life.
I lifted the blanket off my body and covered him lightly, then rolled him over to the ground lightly, put on my shoes and left the room.
The moonlight was bright and the land was vast, I carried the lamp and walked back to Xueming Pavilion, thinking that this was a very good farewell.
Gu Ling just slept in the pavilion all night. He was so drunk that he didn't know that Ji Yu had come, so I didn't tell him that Ji Yu already knew his identity.
In fact, in my opinion, Ji Yu discovered his identity earlier than I did, but he never mentioned it.
I have red, swollen and stinging eyes, but fortunately Gu Ling is also like this so that I don't look too obtrusive. Shen Baiwu woke up in the morning and saw the two of us were silent for a long time, and then he spoke in a normal tone as if he didn't see us. Gu Ling was listless when he saw Shen Baiwu, but he cheered up. He saluted and solemnly asked Shen Baiwu to tell him what happened in Yan State.
Sitting on the bed and hugging the quilt, Shen Baiwu looked Gu Ling up and down for a while, and said, "Your Excellency, you know that poisoning is detoxified, Queen Yan died in a miscarriage, the royal family of Yan died of a plague, and there was civil strife in Yan."
"It must be more than that simple! Otherwise, why would Ji Yu's temperament change drastically, and why would he refuse to tell me the details!" Gu Ling did not accept it.
Shen Baiwu looked at the furious Gu Ling and shook his head, and said lightly, "The person I fear the most is people like you, who are not smart enough or stupid enough."
Not smart enough to understand the intention of concealment, but not stupid enough to believe the lie.
Gu Ling was a little angry when he heard the words, but because he wanted to ask Shen Baiwu, he frowned and endured it, but begged Shen Baiwu to tell him the truth again and again. After begging Shen Baiwu for a long time, after the morning medicine was finished, Shen Baiwu said: "Okay, I will tell you, but not now."
Originally, Gu Ling's eyes lit up when he heard Shen Baiwu loosen his mouth, but when he heard him say it's not now, the light dimmed again. He bit his lip and asked, "When was that?"
"Before Ji Yu leaves. Since this matter is very important to you, you should be more patient." Shen Baiwu wiped his hands with a towel, and asked me to help him get up, with a calm expression as if he didn't want to talk about it. Gu Ling originally wanted to ask, but seeing that Shen Baiwu's complexion was not good and his face was not happy, he finally swallowed the rest of the words, and said: "Cheng Guangjun Jiaojiao is a gentleman, so I will wait."
After Gu Ling left, Shen Baiwu pressed his temples and sighed inexplicably. Maybe it was because he was too tired from the banquet yesterday, but he still insisted on going to the garden to bask in the sun, so I helped him walk slowly into the garden.
Shen Baiwu's garden is not very big, but it is exquisitely and elegantly designed. There is a winding corridor with white walls and black tiles. The lotus in the pond has just begun to bud, and the lotus leaves cover half of the pond. He was sitting by the lotus pond looking at the carp below, so I told Shen Baiwu that it would be better to raise more living things in the mansion, otherwise it would be too quiet. Just as he was talking, he caught sight of a figure in purple clothes from the corner of his eye, and forgot where to say what was in his mouth.
Shen Baiwu said: "Ji Yu."
"Bai Wu." Ji Yu came here, and I turned to look at him. Xia Wan was following him today, he was still elegant and tidy, with a radiant look, just like every time we met each other, he had a three-point smile on his face, and the remaining seven points were elusive.
That Ji-yuk I met when I was drunk was hidden by him again.
When he saw me, he showed a surprised expression and said, "Azhi, what's wrong with your eyes?"
There is no flaw, it is indeed a good acting.
I continued to perform his play, saluted and replied: "Last night I was homesick and wept, my son laughed at me."
Ji Yu seemed to be serious, turned to Shen Baiwu and said, "Ah Zhi is homesick, I heard that you want to release Ah Zhi to freedom, is there such a thing?"
Shen Baiwu frowned, he knew Ji Yu well, such words sounded like a trap was laid. What's more, Ji Yu doesn't like to visit the garden on weekdays, so she appeared here as if she was waiting for us on purpose.
So Shen Baiwu nodded cautiously and said: "I have indeed considered it."
Ji Yu looked at Shen Baiwu and then at me. Under the bright sunlight of early summer, he narrowed his phoenix eyes, his amber eyes were full of smiles, and he slowly said: "It seems that Ah Zhi forgot to tell you, Cheng Guang-jun, Ah Zhi is now poisoned and needs to take an antidote every three months for his life, and the antidote is only available to me in the world.”
Shen Baiwu's gaze froze upon hearing this, and he turned to look at me in dismay. I was also very surprised, I thought Shen Baiwu knew about it, and I also thought that Ji Yu had already given him the antidote. Ji Yu sending me to Shen Baiwu would not send him a dead person, but looking at the situation, Shen Baiwu didn't know anything about it.
Then come to think of it... This is what Ji Yu had reserved for herself from the very beginning.
Shen Baiwu's eyes changed a few times, and he stood up abruptly. I immediately supported Shen Baiwu, who was unstable, and he looked at Ji Yu with sharp eyes, and said, "No wonder she will do things for you...Ji Yu, you have also suffered from poisoning yourself, how can you use this method to control it?" other people?"
Ji Yu laughed out loud, as if he thought it was funny: "I've always been like this, so naturally I can't compare to Cheng Guangjun's high integrity and honesty."
Shen Baiwu seemed to be stabbed by his words, his eyes fluctuated for a moment, and he reluctantly said: "Give me the antidote."
Ji Yu pressed down Shen Baiwu's outstretched palm, his eyes slowly bottomed out.
"At the beginning, I agreed to give Azhi to you, but I didn't say I would give you the antidote. You want the antidote, but have you thought about what to exchange?"
"…what would you like?"
"Hahaha, I'm not too embarrassing for you. If Ah Zhi wins me in chess, I will give her the prescription. If you can't beat me... you can return her to me, or watch her die of poison in three months. .”
Shen Baiwu grabbed Ji Yu's collar, coughed angrily before he could speak, and said intermittently: "You...you are despicable...shameless!"
"Yeah, didn't you guys already know that I am such a person?" Ji Yu's gaze passed Shen Baiwu and landed on my face, her smile was dark and unclear.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked.
The wind with the fragrance of lotus leaves lifted his hairband at the corner of his clothes. Against the elegant background of white walls and black tiles, he was alive alone in purple clothes. He wrote lightly without shame: "I regret it."
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I often feel heartbroken because Jiang Jiuqing and Ji Yu are too rational to talk about sweet love.
So much so that even a little bit of sugar in the glass shards revealed the old mother's smile.