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Off Work, Then Transform into a Magical Girl-Chapter 65 – Night talk
"Other thoughts..."
Although she still hesitated emotionally, Lin Xiaolu subconsciously followed Cui Que's footsteps.
She began to analyze herself, thinking about whether there were other reasons for her low mood these days. As she walked a distance, an answer suddenly emerged in her mind:
"In fact, when I first learned about these things, I felt somewhat sorry for my father."
Cui Que stumbled suddenly, almost falling to the ground.
Lin Xiaolu quickly reached out to support her. "What's wrong?"
"It seems like there's a pit on the ground." Cui Que stood up straight again, pretending to be calm and making up a reason, taking advantage of the dim night.
"Really?" Lin Xiaolu looked back in confusion, only to see the road under the moonlight was smooth and there was no sign of the "pit" mentioned by Cui Que.
But she didn't think too much about it and didn't try to investigate further. She just thought that she couldn't see clearly and continued to follow Cui Que.
"Did anything happen between you and your father before?" Walking on a quiet sidewalk, Cui Que asked to change the topic.
She had long wanted to ask about this matter. She really wanted to know what the cold war between her daughter and her father was like from her daughter's perspective.
Lin Yun had always felt that the main source of conflict between him and his daughter was a lack of care and communication. So after Lin Xiaolu ran away from home, he had been trying to make up for it. However, when he started to interact with his daughter as Cui Que and gradually understood her true thoughts, he found that the truth seemed to be different.
"Instead of saying something happened, it's more like a unilateral misunderstanding."
Lin Xiaolu followed closely behind Cui Que. "When my mother passed away, he not only concealed the whereabouts of her body, but also started dating other young women. This made me think that he no longer loved my mother and wanted to leave her and me to find other women."
"Later, we argued and I ran away from home. Many things became very tense, but I always thought it was his fault, so I never thought about forgiving or understanding him."
"Haha, looking back now, maybe I also made some judgments on my own."
"Because when I was young, he was very strict with me, so strict that I disliked it. So when I thought he was wrong, even if I asked him for reasons on the surface, I actually didn't want to hear the answer. I had already judged in my heart that he was wrong."
The two walked together, passing the Xiazhao Bridge on the West Pavilion River. It was close to midsummer, and there was still a slight cool breeze on the water's surface in the hot night.
There was not much traffic on the bridge at midnight. Cui Que and Lin Xiaolu walked one after the other along the sidewalk, their crisp footsteps echoing on the bridge.
"...What about now?" Cui Que didn't directly express her opinion on Lin Xiaolu's self-reflection, but continued to ask.
If she was just "Cui Que," she could judge right from wrong from the perspective of an observer. But as a party involved in this parent-child cold war, she knew that in such a complicated situation, neither she nor Lin Xiaolu could be considered right or wrong.
Both she and her daughter had the same intention of maintaining the existence of this family, but because of different information: her daughter didn't know that her mother was a magical girl; and different identities and feelings: as a father, he failed to understand his daughter's doubts and helplessness at that time. This eventually led to such a huge disagreement.
When it comes to communicating with children, parents should always take the initiative, but at that time, he didn't realize this.
On the other hand, Lin Xiaolu continued, "Because he showed me pictures of you and my mother before, now I know that he didn't want me to know the truth about my mother's death."
"After all, according to what he said, my mother was a very powerful magical girl, but she died under mysterious circumstances. Faced with the enemy who could kill my mother, even if I knew the truth and even developed hatred because of it, I probably wouldn't know what I could do."
"But the result was that because I didn't know why my mother died, I always thought it was a simple accident and put all my resentment and hostility on him."
"He probably did it out of good intentions, but I responded to him like that..."
"If you can tell your father your thoughts, he would probably be very happy, right?"
Cui Que suddenly spoke, "Instead of saying it here to me, it would be more effective to say it directly to him."
"Is it too late to say this now?" Lin Xiaolu looked worried.
"It's not too late."
Cui Que shook her head, turned her face, and looked expressionlessly at the river below the bridge, making it impossible to know what she was thinking. "Family relationships are something that no one can guarantee they won't make mistakes in."
"You are a first-time daughter, and your father is also a first-time father. Both of you are just beginners in your respective positions, and it's inevitable to make various mistakes. If this mistake is still within the range that can be forgiven, why not give each other another chance?"
"Besides, your father may have stopped blaming you for this matter a long time ago."
There was some unclear emotion in her words about this matter. Although it was vague, even the dull Lin Xiaolu could sense it.
So she looked at Cui Que in a daze and subconsciously asked, "Cui Que... do you have a child?"
Cui Que stopped walking and glanced at her sideways.
"Guess."
After saying these two words, she continued walking.
Lin Xiaolu hurriedly jogged to catch up.
For some reason, Cui Que didn't ask any more questions, and Lin Xiaolu just followed her all the way. The two of them walked to the middle of the bridge and arrived at the center of the West Pavilion River.With her eyes downcast, glancing to the side, Lin Xiaolu's expression was somewhat complex.
Because she felt that since she had already decided to voice her inner doubts, there were some questions she shouldn't avoid.
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However, this matter was different from what she had previously discussed. As a Magical Girl, her next words might truly disappoint Cui Que.
It had nothing to do with her mother's identity, nor the conflict with her father, but rather a disappointment in Lin Xiaolu herself.
Although she kept asking Cui Que if she was disappointed in her, in reality, she didn't want Cui Que to dislike her at all.
If possible, she also wished she could be like Xia Liang, always behaving sweetly and pleasingly in front of others; always able to appropriately liven up the atmosphere and make others happy; always so excellent that even Cui Que would feel satisfied with her.
But now, let alone these, even the most basic qualities of being a Magical Girl, she seemed to have lost.
Because these days, she gradually felt that she seemed to have lost the courage to fight.
Should she really voice such a thing? If she kept silent about it, if she pretended as if nothing was wrong, at least she could continue as she was now...
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At this thought, Lin Xiaolu's mind came to a halt.
Because she suddenly saw Cui Que turn her head, looking at her with those clear, deep blue eyes.
Under the moonlight, those eyes were like the purest sapphires, carrying a few traces of silver glow, as if they could speak, looking at her with encouraging emotions.
Lin Xiaolu pursed her lips, then, gathering her courage, she opened her mouth.