Off Work, Then Transform into a Magical Girl-Chapter 66 – Night talk

"Even Xia Liang also learned about this, but she has already reached the Bud Stage so quickly, while I'm still..."

Her words stopped.

Because she suddenly realized that a slightly cold hand was holding hers.

"Why do you feel sorry for something like this?"

Cui Que looked at her seriously, "Before becoming a magical girl, you were just a child who hadn't grown up yet. Fear of death is an instinct that even adults can't escape. Why would you belittle yourself because of it?"

"But, if I don't step forward and seek revenge, my mother's death will..." Lin Xiaolu said anxiously.

"No one has to step forward, Bai Mei."

Cui Que tightly held her hand and interrupted her, "Revenge is something that we adults should consider as teammates of Sakura."

"Don't consider revenge?"

Lin Xiaolu asked blankly, "Then how can I find peace of mind? What should I do? Can I really continue to immerse myself in my own world as if I don't know anything, just like before?"

"Always like this, defeating weak brutal beasts like playing house, and then satisfying myself by saying that I protected this city?"

"Even if that's the case, won't there come a day when an enemy appears that I can't handle, and then I will also... I will also..."

She felt her thoughts were in chaos.

Just as she said, various negative emotions were all mixed together, making her sense of self-identity reach an unprecedented low.

But what she didn't know was that in fact, the majority of children, after becoming magical girls due to pure impulse or longing, would fall into a certain degree of confusion.

For Lin Xiaolu, the opportunity to feel this confusion was the truth of her mother's death.

When she first learned this information, she might have initially felt longing for her mother. But what followed was a strong sense of displacement.

Lin Xiaolu, who had always placed her soul in magical girl animations, had an overly idealized and one-sided imagination of the term "magical girl."

It was as if there was a filter in her mind for everything related to magical girls, and as long as there was a slight connection, it would become filled with dreams and fairy tale colors.

That's why she became a magical girl without hesitation, and why she fought bravely against brutal beasts, because in her mind, she had already become the "protagonist." She should have escaped from all the ugliness of reality and immersed herself in a beautiful dream.

However, this filter, along with the knowledge of her mother's death and the fact that her progress in training couldn't compare to her companions, was shattered.

The concept of a "magical girl" increasingly overlapped with reality in her understanding, making it impossible for her to see this term as a purely imaginative spiritual support. Instead, it brought about contemplation of various real-life situations.

Responsibility, crisis, loss, death... Many inevitable negative concepts crossed over from the other side of the filter and became Lin Xiaolu's new worries.

And precisely because of this, in times like these, she would subconsciously turn to Cui Que, the magical girl in her mind, for help. After all, for her, Cui Que was the place where this "filter" remained intact.Cui Que couldn't think too deeply about these matters, but that didn't prevent her from feeling that Lin Xiaolu urgently needed her help.

These worries and anxieties seemed to have two common sources - a lack of security and self-doubt.

So, what should she say to her daughter and what could she do to make her feel better?

Once she figured this out, she realized what she needed to do. In short, she needed to fill in the gaps.

"Bai Mei, there's no need to be so anxious."

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After organizing her thoughts, Cui Que took the initiative to speak: "I've always told you not to aim too high, not just in terms of honor and strength, but also in terms of the meaning of life."

"Take a moment to seriously feel if I really exist here."

Extending her other hand, Cui Que gently held Lin Xiaolu's hand with both hands: "Can you feel it? I'm standing here right now, in front of you, holding your hand."

Lin Xiaolu looked down and then nodded blankly.

"So you do feel it, this is the reality you have."

Cui Que met her gaze and spoke seriously: "You are not alone in facing hatred, enemies, and unknown crises. I am here in reality, I will guide you and protect you, so you will be fine."

"If you feel confused now, then don't rush, take your time to think and decide."

"If you fear fighting, I will deal with the enemies; if you don't want revenge, I will seek revenge for Sakura; you can take your time to think about things you can't understand, because you are still a child, and you have plenty of time to grow."

"Even if you say you no longer want to be a magical girl and want to stay away from dangerous battles to be an ordinary girl, then..."

She suddenly stopped speaking.

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As if she remembered something in an instant, Cui Que pursed her lips slightly, showing a hint of struggle, but this expression quickly disappeared, and her cold gaze turned into a gentle gaze as she looked at Lin Xiaolu: "That's also possible, after all, you know, I am a 'big shot', I can handle this kind of thing too."

What she didn't say was that in general, if a magical girl wanted to become a normal person again, there were only two options: reporting to the kingdom or retiring normally. The former process was almost just a formality, and hardly anyone went through it.

Lin Xiaolu wouldn't know this, and there was no need for her to know.

She still looked dazed, but after hearing what Cui Que said, she slowly shook her head:

"I won't, I want to continue being a magical girl."

"Is that what you truly want?" Cui Que asked softly.

"...Yes."

Her scattered gaze refocused, and Lin Xiaolu nodded with determination: "Only this I am sure of, because even now, being a magical girl is still my dream."

Even though she had various doubts and confusion in her mind, what troubled and confused her was always "how to become a good magical girl," not "whether or not to continue being a magical girl."

As for what Cui Que said about staying with her...

"But, Cui Que, you will leave, right?"

Thinking of this, she had some other thoughts: "You are an important figure in the magical kingdom, and coming to Fangting City is just a temporary stay. Even if you stay here for a while, one day, you will leave, won't you?"

"When that day comes, when I see you again, will I have to look at you from a distance like I would with a mayor or some other official?"

Cui Que fell silent.

She tried to loosen her hand, but she found that Lin Xiaolu had already held her hand back, and she couldn't pull it out.

Without exerting force to break free, the two of them remained in this stalemate for a while, and she pretended to calmly nod: "Yes, I will leave, I can't lie to you about this."

But the reason was different from what Lin Xiaolu thought, it wasn't because she was an "inspector."

"So, it will happen after all."

Hearing her answer, Lin Xiaolu's expression became somewhat disappointed: "In that case, there isn't much time left, just like this summer, right?"

Her initial thought was reluctance, but soon, she convinced herself.

In these few months since meeting Cui Que, it had been like a beautiful dream for her: becoming a magical girl, making new friends, learning about her mother's true identity, and improving her relationship with her father. Even her academic studies had improved under Cui Que's guidance.

Even though she had new worries now, it wasn't Cui Que's fault, she was just thinking too much.

She told herself that she had already gained so much because of Cui Que's arrival, and she shouldn't be greedy anymore.

"But, the time of departure will be determined by all of you."

What surprised Lin Xiaolu was that despite the calm tone, there was a sudden reversal in Cui Que's words: "I will wait until you, you and Xia Liang, and even your whole team grow up and can stand on your own before I leave."

These words left Lin Xiaolu stunned for a moment.

Taking this opportunity, Cui Que quietly let go of her hand: "This way, will you feel a little more secure?"

"But, but, for someone like me who wants to become a powerful magical girl, it might not happen until retirement..." Lin Xiaolu was shocked by Cui Que's words and spoke without thinking.

"Then just keep waiting until you retire." Cui Que turned her face slightly and said lightly.Upon hearing this, Lin Xiaolu felt her heartbeat skip a beat.

An indescribable emotion, perhaps best described as a sense of overwhelming joy, surged in her heart.

She couldn't help but clutch her chest, stammering, "But that's... ten years..."

"Yes, ten years." Cui Que replied, her expression still calm.

This made Lin Xiaolu feel even more incredulous, "But there's no reason for it. Why would you go to such lengths for someone like me? Even if you were close with my mother, I don't think I'm worth it."

"Who said you're not worth it?"

With one hand on her hip, Cui Que looked at Lin Xiaolu sideways, "If you've already given up on yourself, if you no longer face your own potential, how can you become the person you aspire to be?"

"But can I really get there?" Lin Xiaolu was still somewhat unsure.

"Didn't Mo Ke say? You're a genius."

"But it said it was just fooling me..."

"Well, it also said that fairies sometimes can't even tell truth from lies."

Looking at the distant river, Cui Que calmly said, "The reason I chose to stay in Fangting City, as you guessed, is indeed because of your mother, and also because this is the city I once guarded. I don't want it to be destroyed by the Brutal Beasts."

"But I can't stay here forever. After Sakura's death, our older generation must pass the baton to the next."

"I've seen you and Xia Liang here, and I've gotten to know you. So, I believe in your potential as the next generation."

"Maybe Mo Ke was just talking casually, maybe you don't believe in yourself, but I believe that one day, you will become a Magical Girl who can protect anyone."

"The so-called ten years is just a bet and a bottom line. In my opinion, you will definitely become stronger, and it won't take that long."

Cui Que's decisive judgement finally cleared much of the gloom in Lin Xiaolu's heart.

The hand on her chest gradually clenched into a fist, and a light reappeared in her eyes, "Cui Que, do you believe in me?"

"No matter how many times you ask, the answer is the same. I believe."

Stepping back a few steps, Cui Que calmly looked at the girl, "So don't belittle yourself. Lift your head, you're no worse than anyone else."

With that, she half-turned, making a gesture to move on, and finally asked Lin Xiaolu, "Is there anything else you want to ask?"

Looking at the petite girl in front of her, the last bit of confusion in Lin Xiaolu's expression gradually faded, and her previously gloomy face became bright, even somewhat soft.

She shook her head, no longer speaking, but followed Cui Que in small steps, walking side by side with her.

The crisp sound of footsteps echoed again on the empty bridge, but unlike the dull sound when they arrived, the sound now was light and more rhythmic. The footsteps moved slowly from the middle of the bridge towards the opposite bank, crossing the river, crossing the long pedestrian path, and finally, gradually disappearing into the unknown distance on the other side.