Simple man with his overpowered army-Chapter 78: Pregnancy

In the depths of the abyss, Toki carried the child she never wanted. Alone, she waited for the time to come in that eternity for that child to be born. She hated every moment of that pregnancy. Alone.

Many times she considered going to where her father is to lighten the burden on her belly, but be it her own will or the will of Perkele, she didn’t dare to show her face.

"I wonder... Did my mother feel this way when she was carrying me? She seemed to hate the idea of carrying a human’s child in that timeline, but I wonder... why did she choose to volunteer to shoulder that burden?"

Then a thought came across Toki, "Why don’t I go and ask my mother in that timeline?"

But as soon as those words escaped her lips, she shook her head in denial. It is the same thing as if she thought going to seek comfort from her father. The disgust.

Then Toki wondered "I wonder if this is a similar feeling for those women who are denied the option to abort the child for one reason or another? I’m sure that, for the women who are raped, become pregnant, and their parents deny the freedom of abortion, this... is similar to that."

Toki spends a lot of time, perhaps few seconds, perhaps decades, to ponder this thought, only to make the realization that "It is pretty much that, but instead of parents who keep me from going through abortion, the rapist gets to decide."

A slight chuckle comes out of Toki’s mouth as if the situation she is in is somehow funny. Perhaps the thought of how much time she has been pondering this is what made a time of darkness a bit lighter. But if only, that lightness would last a bit longer. Alas.

Toki spends some time sitting on some steps on the streets of her own Elysium. Just waiting. Waiting for that accursed moment to come when she hopes she becomes free of the "gift" Perkele placed on her.

But if only the pain would end after she had given birth. As far as she knew, Perkele wouldn’t let her forget for a second that he had defiled her. Toki was sure that, one way or another, Perkele will make her think that she has to keep watching those children. That is the way Perkele’s blood affects people. They become extensions of Perkele’s will. One way or another.

Toki pondered "What way will my mind bend to make the decision to keep an eye on that child? Will it be out of pity for them? Will it be to show some sort of vengeance on the innocent byproduct? Will it simply be out of a motherly instinct? Toki spent a lot of time pondering this, though she wished for the longest time that she could just abandon them in the abyss and maybe they would perish naturally in there.

Then came a thought, "I wonder... will they actually survive the pregnancy out here? The abyss should drain them... But if abyssans can live and breed in the higher levels, then why wouldn’t a child be able to be born where she is?"

Then Toki realizes "But since I am the only living being able to live so deep, would the child be as well?"

In a moment of irony, Toki said "I’m kind of interested how the child turns out? Will they be able to exist here, or will they simply be devoured by the abyss? An interesting thought."

Time passes on. The unnatural pregnancy takes its time strangely slowly. Or perhaps, by the

nature of the abyss, it is but a moment. A second perhaps.

But in this deep, the time is even more chaotic than it is on the surface. Then again, by the nature of the abyss, one can move backwards in time, if you just know how. For Toki, as a singular being, it is a piece of cake to do that. But she wonders if the child will have this skill as well.

"I wonder... will I have the power to show this child to father and mothers? Do I have the strength to... tell them that, by a strange string of events, I got pregnant? But since I’m unable to tell the how to them, will I be forced to keep the child hidden, or will I simply lie. Perhaps I tell them that the child’s father died and I don’t want to talk about it further. I think that is the way I will handle it... IF I have the strength to show this child to them."

Of course, as is the nature of pregnancy, Toki felt unwell and felt like throwing up on an occasion. Due to her not eating anything since she didn’t need food to live, nothing ever came out no matter how bad the feeling got.

The topic of food brought a question to Toki, which was "Will the child be born fine even if I’m not eating? I mean, we are so deep in the abyss that no normal child would be able to live to tell the tale, but... why do I feel like everything will be fine for some strange reason?"

Toki shook her head and said "Fine? How will I ever be fine? I have to carry that man’s child! How the ever living fuck will I ever be fine?!"

Toki stood up from the steps and said "It is his fault that I start to think everything is going to be fine right?! Fuck you Perkele! I’m sick of you making my life a living hell after what you’ve done! You..."

Toki became nauseous and sat back down. Then she muttered "He is tormenting me. He makes me feel at peace for a brief moment, then makes me suffer even further with his schemes. But wait a second..."

Toki starts to think a bit further. The nature of Perkele’s mind controlling powers.

"If I’m in the abyss, where time is chaotic or even nonexistent, then how can Perkele, who is in a space where time is strictly linear, affect me in this way?"

Toki pauses and ponders this revelation for a moment and then mutters "Is it... all a mistake? Did he... trick me in some way?"

Toki ponders further and circles back to denial "No... He must have some strange way to affect me even from a linear timespace. If he couldn’t then... why would I have not aborted this child already?"

Toki looks at her belly, which has grown quite a bit by now. She caresses it for a brief moment and mutters "By now, it would be the same as killing an actual baby. Not even a fetus, but probably an actual baby."

Toki holds her head in frustration and says "Am I having second thoughts? It is HIS kid that I’m carrying. HIS. As in the most deplorable man to exist in Lutah. Why should I feel... any... sympathy."

Toki looks at the ground in defeat. Feeling horrible physically and mentally.

"Has he truly... controlled my mind?"

Time passes. Or not. Depends on the perspective.

The isolation has taken its toll on Toki, even though it was her own decision. As the moment of her child’s birth grew nearer, she mulled in defeat "Has Perkele... really brainwashed me? Why won’t I kill the spawn of evil as they grow inside me? Who cares if they are already classified as people with souls. I’m not... that good of a person anyways."

Contemplating to actually kill the child on her belly, Toki mutters to herself once more "Will I be mentally able to move on after I kill, what is admittedly the worst person’s child, but... mine also. Would I, as... a mother... be able to handle the act of killing... one’s own child?"

While mulling over her thoughts, she started to feel contractions. The time had come... to give birth.

The excruciating feeling tore even the very Archon of the Abyss’ in tears of agony, something near every mother who gives birth suffers. It didn’t matter if her body was near indestructible, the pain of childbirth was enormous.

Alone and scared, Toki couldn’t help but cry emotionally as well. How couldn’t she? She was giving birth to a child she never wanted. An act that surely brought a huge grin to a certain person’s face just thinking about it.

As time was chaotic, who knows how long Toki was on labour for, but as it is for most births for humanoids, the time felt like it was dragging on endlessly.

And after Toki managed to give birth to one child, the labour wasn’t over, as there seemed to be more incoming. Toki cursed her own luck to have multiple children during one pregnancy.

Toki had to endure hearing the baby’s cry as she wasn’t done giving birth. An agonising feeling where thoughts wander to all corners of the world.

And after Toki pushed the second child into the world, the act wasn’t over, as there seemed to be a third as well. Being in agony physically and mentally, Toki pushed on, alone.

Eventually Toki managed to get the third baby out, the last one she had to do. Toki felt a brief moment of relief, until her mind came to dealing with the afterbirth processes.

But as Toki got a look for the three babies she pulled out, her heart sank as she saw that one of the babies wasn’t crying. No, the child wasn’t even breathing. The umbilical cord of one had tangled around the neck of another baby. Toki tried to sense life from that baby with her powers, but as she looked, she didn’t find a soul on the baby who was no longer breathing.

Toki surmised that the third one had probably died even before she pushed it out. Meaning that, while giving birth to two live babies, the third was a birth of an already dead one.

Toki, as she was dealing with the aftermath, she had a hard time handling her own thoughts. She wondered "Sure, I did not want to give birth to his children and even considered abortion, but now that I saw that one of them was dead, I... I don’t know how to feel. Did my wish somehow kill them?"

Toki looked closer and concluded that the two babies that were alive and well were identical girls and the one that died was a boy.

For some reason, Toki felt like burying the child in Toki’s Elysium’s graveyard, though she had conflicting thoughts about the whole process.

As she was making the gravestone, she realized that she hadn’t given names for the babies.

In this too, she felt conflict. "Should I give names to the children? I mean logically, if the ones who live continue to be, they eventually need names. But... What about the boy?"

Toki contemplated for a moment "Should I give a corpse a name? I... don’t know if I have... any reason to... I mean, I don’t think that I... feel any attachment towards him. Or... would it be better to give him one for... for my longterm mental health."

Eventually Toki made up her mind and gave name to the boy as she carved the name into the stone. "Your name... as your mother, I name you Zolor Abel Ilumnos. Even if I wished for my child’s death... the child themselves is innocent from any crime."

As Toki puts the grave stone to its place, she then turns to the other two. She looks at them for a while and considers carefully what to name them. She says "The one whose umbilical cord was on Abel’s neck and the younger twin... I, Zolon Tokiko Eishi Ilumnos, name you Zolor Kaina Ilumnos. And for the elder twin, I, Zolon Tokiko Eishi Ilumnos, name you Zolor Mara Ilumnos."

As the "naming ceremony" concludes, Toki goes to search for proper clothing for the girls.