Strongest Scammer: Scamming The World, One Death At A Time-Chapter 173: A Fetch Quest

The courtyard was quiet, the moon hanging high as fireflies danced lazily in the night breeze. Han Yu leaned against the doorway while Fatty Kui plopped himself onto a nearby stone bench, looking oddly excited for someone about to go on a possibly dangerous mission.

"Alright. I need to do a mission soon anyway, so may as well go with you," Han Yu agreed. With Fatty Kui around, it was bound to be chaotic—possibly idiotic—but never boring.

"So," Han Yu started, "what exactly is this mission you’re dragging me into?"

Fatty Kui cleared his throat and tried to sit up straighter, puffing out his chest like a pigeon with a secret. "The mission is... to retrieve a sword!"

Han Yu blinked. "...A sword?"

"Yes!" Fatty Kui nodded sagely, as if it were the most profound statement in the history of cultivation.

"You do realize that if the sect starts sending major missions just to retrieve lost cutlery, we’re going to be spending our lives chasing after runaway soup spoons, right?"

"It’s not just any sword!" Fatty Kui said, offended. "It belonged to Elder Zheng."

Han Yu tilted his head. "Wait... that grumpy old guy with the moustache that looks like twin caterpillars arguing?"

"That’s the one!"

Han Yu crossed his arms. "Alright. Explain."

Fatty Kui launched into it like a bard with a tale to tell. "So Elder Zheng was out on another mission a couple months back. Something about negotiating territory borders with the Mist Eye Sect."

Han Yu’s eyebrow twitched. "Those guys?"

"Yep. But turns out the Mist Eye Sect wasn’t in the mood for diplomacy." Fatty Kui leaned in, lowering his voice for dramatic effect. "It was an ambush. Elder Zheng barely made it out alive."

"An ambush?!" Han Yu’s eyes widened. "And now we’re going where he got ambushed to pick up the sword he dropped during said ambush?!"

Fatty Kui nodded cheerfully. "Exactly!"

Han Yu slapped his own forehead. "This isn’t a mission. This is a delayed mugging!"

"No, no, it’s not that bad," Fatty Kui said, waving his hands. "The Mist Eye Sect probably left the area already. Elder Zheng managed to escape and crawl back, and he said the sword’s aura flared up one last time before he lost it in a ravine somewhere."

Han Yu rubbed his temples. "Let me guess. A ravine filled with spirit beasts, lingering miasma, and perhaps the occasional evil cultivator camping out with a pot of stew and bad intentions?"

Fatty Kui hesitated. "I mean... maybe just the first two?"

"Kui..."

"Alright, alright!" he threw up his hands. "I get it, it’s a little dangerous. But look on the bright side—this is an Elder’s sword! We find it, and boom! Massive merit points! We’ll be rolling in contribution tokens and pill coupons!"

Han Yu narrowed his eyes. "You just want pill coupons so you can spend them on those glazed lotus root snacks."

Fatty Kui looked offended. "I am a cultivator! I cultivate the Dao of Snacks! It’s my destiny!"

Han Yu sighed deeply, already regretting the inevitable. "And Elder Zheng? What’s he doing now?"

"Still recovering in the medical hall," Fatty Kui replied. "He’s got a busted leg, bruised ribs, and a temper that could melt spiritual steel."

"So instead of resting peacefully, he’s sending us to play fetch with his spiritual weapon."

"More like an errand of honor!" Fatty Kui beamed. "It’s very important to him. That sword’s been with him for decades—he even named it!"

Han Yu raised an eyebrow. "What’s it called?"

"Stormpiercer!"

Han Yu stared.

Fatty Kui nodded proudly. "Pretty cool, right?"

Han Yu muttered under his breath, "Sounds like something a fourteen-year-old would name their pet rooster..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Han Yu took a deep breath. "Alright. Let’s say I agree to this madness. Do we know exactly where the sword was lost?"

Fatty Kui fumbled around in his robes and produced a small map. "Right here," he pointed. "The Ravine of Screaming Shadows."

Han Yu stared at him.

"...It’s just a name," Fatty Kui said quickly.

"Yeah. A name designed to warn people not to go there." Han Yu sighed again, deeply and dramatically. "We’re going to die."

"Nah. We’re going to succeed, find the sword, and maybe even discover a secret inheritance cave full of spirit food."

"That’s not a thing."

"It could be."

Han Yu looked at the sky, wondering what poor life choices had led him to this moment. Ah yes. He had eaten mystery herbs, died, come back, and now he was about to risk his life over a glorified letter opener.

"Alright. Fine. I’ll go with you. But if we run into Mist Eye cultivators, we run. No fighting over honor or glory."

"Deal!" Fatty Kui grinned. "With your luck and my... bulk, we’ll be unstoppable!"

Han Yu groaned. "That sentence hurt me on a spiritual level." freёweɓnovel.com

The two sat in silence for a moment, listening to the crickets and the gentle rustle of the night wind. The moonlight bathed the courtyard in soft light, making the mission ahead feel more real, more tangible—and slightly more terrifying.

"The mission needs three people at least, there’s me and you, who’s gonna be the third person?" Han Yu asked.

"Ah, I hoped you might know someone trustable. I’ve spent too much time in seclusions so I don’t really know many people."

"Hmm... I’ll go talk to a couple people and see if they want to come too," Han Yu said after a while.

Han Yu had a few people in mind that he could somewhat trust.

’I’ll ask Li Mei and see if she’s willing. If not her, some of the old disciples from the last mission should be fine.’ Han Yu thought to himself.

Fatty Kui’s eyes sparkled. "Yes! With your friends along, we’ll have brains, brawn, and... whatever it is you contribute."

Han Yu gave him a deadpan look. "I hope a boulder falls on you tomorrow."

"If it does, I’m supposed to squat under it."

The two stared at each other.

Then burst out laughing.