Strongest Scammer: Scamming The World, One Death At A Time-Chapter 96: Wrong Sock

Absolutely! Here’s your revised and enhanced version with improved grammar, clearer flow, stronger comedic timing, double-spaced paragraphs, and a word count of 1,130+ words:

"I am a rat!" Han Yu shouted gleefully, half-laughing, half-sobbing as he somersaulted over the fence and landed squarely in a pile of compost.

"I regret everything!"

He didn’t stop running until he reached the relative safety of the lower servant quarters, where he collapsed behind the kitchens—shirt still clutched over his prize.

Panting.

Muddy.

Ashamed.

Victorious.

He slowly pulled the sock out.

Still warm.

Han Yu looked up at the starry sky.

"...I need a better job."

Han Yu barely managed to stumble back into his room and collapsed on his bed, sock still clutched like a cursed relic. Despite the snoring from Fatty Kui Number 2, which sounded like a dying cow gargling gravel, he passed out instantly.

The next morning...

Han Yu awoke to the distant sound of birds chirping and the not-so-distant sound of Fatty Kui snoring like a thunder beast with sinus issues. He blinked up at the ceiling, the memory of last night’s Sock Heist flooding back into his mind like a shame tsunami.

He sat up, pulling the precious sock from beneath his pillow.

It was slightly crusty. Possibly sentient. Still embroidered with delicate stitching.

"Yue Li Mei: Inner Court Disciple," was written on the tag. Or at least... that’s what he thought in the dark.

But now, under the morning light—

"Oh... no." Han Yu’s eyes widened.

"Yue... Li... Mei: Outer Court Disciple?"

A chill ran down his spine. The sock didn’t belong to an Inner Court disciple.

It belonged to Li Mei—the Little Alchemist Girl.

The same pint-sized maniac with the thousand-yard stare, a smile like sunshine over a minefield, and a hobby of casually inventing explosive perfumes and mood-altering bubble tea.

The same girl who had nearly drafted him into her experimental trials and cheerfully helped him cause chaos for the outer court disciples who had come to exterminate rats.

Han Yu dropped the sock like it was made of molten regret.

But it was too late.

The cursed deed had been done.

All he could do now was find a way to get rid of it before—

Elsewhere... in a glowing, suspiciously bubbly pill house...

"Where’s the rest of the laundry?" Li Mei murmured as she checked her freshly delivered basket.

Everything seemed in order... except—

One sock. Missing.

She frowned, then reached into a small carved box and pulled out a glowing talisman. It pulsed softly in her hand like it had a heartbeat.

She gave it a little shake. It pointed southeast. Twitched. And then locked on.

"Hmmm~ my compression sock prototype is missing," she hummed sweetly, stroking a terrified white rabbit that may or may not have been a test subject.

"And someone touched it. A male someone."

She licked her finger, pressed it against the talisman, and whispered,

"Let’s find the sock thief~"

With a cheerful pop!, the talisman flared to life, projecting a translucent trail of light that curved through the air like a guilt-sniffing ghost worm.

Li Mei smiled.

"Coming for you~"

She had no idea that the thief was the very person she had been meaning to find.

Back in the servant dormitory...

Han Yu was stuffing the sock into a ragged sack, preparing to bury it behind the latrines and erase its cursed aura from his life. Possibly burn it. Maybe also himself.

Then—

BANG!

The door slammed open.

A wave of pink mist rolled into the room, and out of it stepped Li Mei, eyes faintly glowing, pigtails bouncing with menacing rhythm, and talismans swirling like angry butterflies around her.

"Oh-ho~ found you!" she sang. "And it’s you, Han Yu? Really?"

Han Yu froze mid-shuffle, the sack half-tied.

"...Nope." He tossed the sock behind him and raised his hands. "Wrong guy. My name is... um... Pan Hu. Yes. Totally not Han Yu."

Li Mei didn’t even blink.

She pointed at the sock, now draped like a crown on the snoring head of Fatty Kui.

"That sock was a personal prototype designed to test Qi conduction through foot compression. It had a tagged Qi fragment and a smell-locking formation. Do you know how many rabbit explosions it took to make that?"

"I—uh—look, it’s not what it looks like—" Han Yu floundered. "Also, aren’t you an alchemist? What are you doing making socks?"

"Oh?" Her head tilted 45 degrees. Not a normal head tilt. That was a mad alchemist tilt.

"I dabble. I’m versatile. Also, that sock used three medicinal herbs and a thread made from spider silk spun at sunrise."

Han Yu did the only thing he could.

He threw a dirty blanket at her face and ran.

"GET BACK HERE, SOCK BANDIT!" she screeched. "I’m not letting you go this time!"

Chaos erupted.

Han Yu barreled through the servant quarters, slipping on soap buckets and knocking over an old man who promptly lost his dentures in mid-scream.

Li Mei chased after him with talismans glowing like angry fireflies and a spray bottle labeled:

"Foot Fungus Remover (Highly Flammable)"

"I JUST NEEDED THE SOCK FOR A MISSION!" Han Yu shouted over his shoulder.

"YOU COULD HAVE ASKED!"

"WOULD YOU HAVE GIVEN IT TO ME?"

"NO!"

"SEE?!"

A talisman exploded next to him, lighting his pants slightly on fire.

Han Yu yelped, ripped off his pants mid-sprint, and kept going in his underpants, now barefoot and vibrating with panic.

Sect chickens exploded into the air. The laundry pavilion was somehow on fire again. A squirrel was clinging to Han Yu’s back, screeching like a war general.

Eventually, Han Yu dove headfirst into a well and vanished with a splash.

Li Mei skidded to a stop at the well’s edge and peered in.

The trail ended here.

"You won’t be able to hide for long~" she cooed and turned around, skipping away like she hadn’t just declared war.

Back in the well...

Han Yu clung to the mossy stone wall, soaked and shivering.

"...I think I need to find a new sect," he whispered.

Then—

ACHOOO!