The Archduke's Songbird-Chapter 48: Nostalgia

*Bang*

Jerrick banged on the table causing everyone’s heart to skip a beat. "Out, everyone!!!" He yelled.

"Don’t cry. I’m fine," Jessamyn wiped Isadora’s tears.

Isadora tried to hold Jessamyn but Lynae dragged Isadora out and closed the door. Having no other way, Jessamyn turned to face Jerrick.

He stood beside the table, leaning by the window. She didn’t know what to say to him and waited for him to speak first. But he stared at her without saying a word.

She looked at the tray of dinner on the table. It looked like it would serve two. Is he going to eat with me to make sure I don’t skip my meals? Did Imogen ask him to do that too? How obedient of him! How smart was Imogen to leave behind a tool to pick and prod me even after her death?

He then lit the candles and set the plates. She was not hungry even with all the delicacies on the table. But she was willing to eat if it would keep him away.

She pulled the chair and sat. He was still standing. She didn’t mind him and started eating.

"Does it happen often?" he asked.

Jessamyn looked up. "What?"

"Bernard told me you cried," Jerrick said. Her eyes were puffed and she was pale. He didn’t know what could have happened to her. She was fine in the morning when she talked to Duke Lagergren. If he dared to guess, she was in fine spirits until she left.

"Was it because you heard me..." Jerrick hesitated to finish the sentence for he dreaded to repeat that painful phrase.

Jessamyn slowed down.

"...about love?" he added seeing that she was not answering.

"I appreciated your honesty. I needed it. I don’t love you either; so, no harm done there," Jessamyn said. It was the truth anyway and she didn’t want to keep it a secret between them.

The candles in the middle of the table flickered casting an eerie shadow on Jerrick’s face. Jerrick’s mouth went ajar. His lips moved as he tried to say something but he didn’t. Jessamyn could only see the corners of his mouth twitching.

She went back to eating as he said nothing. Her chest tightened but she marched on. As long as she finished eating, he would leave her alone.

She heard him clear his throat and he started eating. Only the sound of the cutleries was heard in the lavish room.

As the minutes stretched into eternity, the tension between them became almost tangible, filling the space between them like a heavy fog. Their silent exchange spoke volumes, a language of hurt and unresolved emotions that hung in the air like a dark cloud—suffocating and oppressive.

"Are you worried about something? Is it about your request to visit Ravensworth?" He asked cutting through the tension in the room.

Jessamyn paused and gazed at him. His deep voice was gentle and his eyes tenderly gazed upon her with regard. If she was the naïve fifteen-year-old of the past, she would have believed his regard as love.

Her lips curved into a smile as she thought of a plan. Her humiliated heart wanted some sort of retaliation either as a reciprocated hurt or as a gained favor. She could hurt him but she couldn’t find it in her heart to hurt him. So, she decided to use his "care" for her purpose.

"Will you allow me to visit Ravensworth?" she asked. If he thinks that was the reason I’m hurt and if he cares for me, he should let me go, right?

Jerrick bowed his head as he was not willing to do that. Jessamyn pushed the plate away and stood up. She was done pretending to eat. Her stomach hurt.

"Isadora told me she was knocking on the for a long time and she suspected you might have fainted. Bernard almost broke the door. You scared us all. What happened?" Jerrick asked.

Apparently, Isadora didn’t want to inform him and waited by the door for a long time. She got scared as the sun went down and informed Bernard. Bernard wanted to break the door when he got there. Isadora was crying not knowing what to do and he took it from there.

She opened the door when I knocked.

Jerrick looked at her fragile frame walking away from him. She might love to walk away from him but he could always reach her with just a knock. He didn’t find her for years and that night when she needed a man the most, he was there to pick her up. She might deny it but they do have a bond that traverses the norm. What they have is better than love.

Jessamyn’s slender hand reached the curtain hanging on the bed. She gently folded the pleats of the curtain. "I don’t know what happened," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I lost time..."

"Does it happen often?" he asked. "You losing time."

She heard him standing up and her eyes landed on the floor with ponderance. "Not anymore," she let out a deep breath.

She heard him walking closer to her and she turned to face him. The moment her eyes landed on him, he stopped.

"You used to?" His voice trailed. His eyes were dull and she noticed the protruding veins on his forehead.

Jessamyn nodded.

"Seven years ago?" His low voice was barely above a breath and his eyes were reddened.

Jessamyn turned unable to bear his face. Pangs of pain hit her and she clutched her chest. "No," she said, bearing with the pain. After Joar’s death, she had Isadora looking after her. "Ten years ago."

From the day she heard him say ’I am marrying Imogen. I love her, only her’, to the day of their wedding, she had no idea what happened. It was all a blur. At times, Emily would slap her back to senses. She didn’t even know what time or day it was or even if she was awake or asleep.

She couldn’t believe anything around her. She couldn’t digest his betrayal. She delusionally held hope that it was all a bad dream; he couldn’t have betrayed her for he was hers and she was his.

Only when she saw him kissing Imogen on their wedding day, did it hit her—He’s not mine. He’s Imogen’s.

The next she remembered was...

"Myna!"

Jessamyn winced hearing his voice near her ear. He wrapped his arms around her shoulder and kissed her ear. Before she could react, he flipped her, and the next moment she was on the bed with him on top of her.

"Myna..." his voice was nostalgic reminding her of the boy who made her forget everything else and smile—her first love.

"Oh, Myna... My dearest Songbird..." he leaned closer to her.