The Archduke's Songbird-Chapter 47: Hurtful Truth

Jessamyn opened the door as slowly as she could to hear what he was going to say. She never thought that love was a possibility after he cruelly rejected her but his recent behavior did cause speculations in her heart.

"You can’t deny it, can you? First love..." the duke let out a short chuckle. "First love that began with the whispers of the heart, like the dawn of a new day...the love that gets etched in depths of the soul, a timeless reminder of innocence and purity. Not everyone gets the chance to~"

"You are trying to appraise my emotions with your limited understanding. How clever of you! You truly live up to your standard of a jeweler, Duke," Jerrick said sardonically while clapping.

"Am I wrong?" Duke Lagergren asked.

Jessamyn’s smirked as she opened the door. The utter disbelief in his tone with someone’s suggestion that she was his first love gave her a clear answer. Of course, I was not his first love or any love!

She appreciated his honesty. She didn’t love him anymore and they were going to get married. This truth would be helpful for her, going forward. She could be guilt-free for entering a marriage without love.

But still, one question remained.

Why is he doing this then? Is this related to the council?

She stepped out of the room and slowly closed the door when she heard his soulful voice.

"I’m saying this because you’re confused. Everything I am doing; even the wedding... I am doing it all for Imogen. Jessamyn is her family and~"

With a gentle thud, Jessamyn closed the door to avoid hearing further. Her heart sank to her gut. Her hand on the door shook. She leaned on the door as warm tears collected in her eyes. Her stomach churned.

I don’t want any help! Her tears freely rolled down her cheeks. What made him think I needed help?

Her shoulders shrank out of shame as she clutched her stomach. Humiliation—that was what she felt and rage accompanied her shame. How could there be a shame worse than being "helped" by someone she despised with every fiber of her being?

Imogen! Oh, Imogen! Why are you dictating my life from the grave? Weren’t you satisfied ruining it while you were alive? Do you have to shame me after you die too? Can’t you leave me in peace?

She remembered Imogen’s smile—the smile that never was from her heart. And her tears... those never-ending tears especially when she was in her mother’s presence.

The world around Jessamyn blurred and grew dark. Shadows deepened into an abyss, swallowing the light and leaving her stranded in a realm of darkness.

Whispers from the past echoed in her mind, haunting reminders of moments she wished she could forget. Each voice carried the weight of memories long buried, dredged up from the depths of her subconscious to torment her fragile psyche.

’I’m sorry, Jessamyn...’ she’d sob as if she’d die out of breath. It was always that sob followed by her "apology".

’I didn’t mean to get you punished...but you didn’t protect me when the boy made fun of me. You should have stopped him from hitting me back.’

’I didn’t think Mother would forbid you from going to the ball! I’m sorry I fit the new dress your father bought for you. It suits me well, don’t you think? I know you wanted to dance. But I didn’t even enjoy the ball thinking of you. All the boys talked to me and there was a competition to have me dance with them but I refused...for you! Will you forgive me?’

’I’m sorry you had to skip lunch and dinner today. I was near the vase but you know you broke it. I told Mother the truth...’

’I just told Mother the truth. I truly feel like you don’t like me. You laughed when the dog chased me. I’m sorry you had to kneel an entire day but you should have stopped me from getting near the dog you feed...’

’You’re not mad at me, right? Right? Right? Right, Jessamyn? I just want you to learn the basic etiquettes of a lady...’

’I think you haven’t forgiven me... Forgive me... Forgive me, Jessamyn...Mother is watching...’

’I think of you as a friend but you don’t get along with me. I don’t want to do this in front of Mother, but why, Jessamyn? Why do you hate me?’

Imogen would sob continuously until Jessamyn "accepted" her apology. She wouldn’t stop if she found Jessamyn’s assurance lacking. Jessamyn had to beg Imogen to accept her forgiveness.

Jessamyn felt trapped, ensnared in the tangled web of her own thoughts, unable to break free from the suffocating grip of anxiety. Desperation clawed at her insides, a primal instinct urging her to flee, to escape the darkness that threatens to swallow her whole.

But she couldn’t move an inch.

"Why are you crying?"

The thunderous voice cleared the darkness around her. The tears didn’t stop falling. Through the blur, she saw the concerned face of Bernard.

"No reason. I’ll leave now," she bowed her head and walked upstairs.

Lynae found her on the way. "Milady, are you unwell? Do you need anything?" she asked.

Jessamyn waved her hand. "Feed the boy and put him to bed for a nap."

Jessamyn went straight to Isadora’s room. She needed a shoulder to lean on and cry her sorrows away. When she reached Isadora’s room, the door was slightly ajar.

Through the gap, she saw Isadora lying on the bed on her belly. Flailing her legs, she was looking at the handkerchief in her hands. The embroidery looked half-completed. She was giggling and saying something to the handkerchief. As if she was embarrassed by what she said, she then buried her head in the pillow and kicked her legs.

Jessamyn didn’t want to pass on her distress to Isadora and walked back to her room. Lynae followed her to get in with the boy. The boy held out his hand to jump to her but Jessamyn couldn’t even put her mind to smile at the boy.

"Use another room. Do not disturb me for some time," Jessamyn said and closed the door.

She locked the door and her legs failed her. She slid down the door and sat on the floor. Her tears had dried and she ended up staring at the window blankly.

*Knock* *Knock*

She heard the knock on the door and snapped out of her reverie. She noticed that the sky had gotten dark and her legs had gone numb after sitting still for so long.

How long was I staring blankly?

She opened the door and a tall figure stormed in. Lynae followed with a tray of food. Isadora stood by the door holding her chest. Her eyes were red.

"Why didn’t you open the door, Milady? I was worried..."

Jessamyn wetted her parched lips. She didn’t even realize that Isadora was knocking on the door. "I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you," Jessamyn took a step forward to hug poor Isadora.

*Bang*

A loud noise startled everyone.