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The billionaire's sweet editor-Chapter 110: Iris: Space
"Iβm busy," I manage, hoping to deflect him, but Lucas holds his ground, or should I say me in place. πππππ¨π²πππ¨π―ππ.ππΌπΊ
Lucas frowns the lines of worry etching deeper on his forehead. "Can we talk?"
"Not now," I reply, my voice firmer than I felt. "Need I remind you that weβre in public and better yet, at work sir? We should keep our professional standards at best to allow smooth workflow."
Traitor! I feel like a fucking traitor for saying that as if I wasnβt the one who initiated the romance episode in his office the last time we were intimate here.
But he doesnβt take the hint. The tension between us is palpable, each breath we take sounding seemingly louder and ferocious.
"Iris, please. I know things got heated yesterday, but we need to sort this out. I donβt want to fight."
I take a deep breath, willing my legs to move and stand their ground. Theyβre beginning to shake and I donβt know if itβs because of the anger Iβm feeling, or Lucasβ breath hitting my face. He doesnβt even look like he cares that weβre in the fucking corridor.
"I really donβt want to talk about it right now, Lucas."
But he is relentless. "Then when? Because avoiding this isnβt going to help either of us. I need to speak with you or else I wonβt be able to rest."
With a sigh, I push him to the side, heading for the break room, desperate for a moment of solitude. But he doesnβt relent. He follows me, his footsteps echoing in my ears, until I found myself cornered by the meeting room doors, again. Turning his head left and right, he pulls me inside and checks to see if thereβs anyone, then the door is firmly shut behind us, and Iβm pinned on the wall.
Damn, heβs persistent. And whatβs with the pinning me to the wall event today? I canβt stand it, but I like it either way.
The air is thick with unresolved tension. Lucasβs face is a few centimeters from mine, his eyes searching deep inside mine for answers. I can see the hurt etched on his face, the way he is raking a hand through his hair in frustration but also trying to keep his cool.
"Iris, please. Just talk to me."
I feel my heart pounding, a mix of anger and sadness swirling within me. "I need space, Lucas. We just fought. I canβt just forget about it and pretend everything is fine. Besides, if I agree to talk now, I donβt think weβll have a proper conversation."
His expression shifts to one of confusion. "But I thought we could work through this together."
"Sometimes together isnβt what I need," I replied, my voice trembling slightly. "I donβt want to say things that Iβll regret later. I need to think, to breathe. Can you give me that?"
The silence stretches between us, heavy and uncomfortable. I watch as his shoulders slump slightly, the defiance in his posture fading. He looks hurt, and for a moment, I want nothing more than to reach out to him and tell him itβs over. But the words I need to say hang in the air like a barrier.
"Okay," he finally says, his voice low. "If thatβs what you need, Iβll respect it."
The resignation in his tone stings, and I feel a wave of guilt wash over me. But itβs too late to change now; I have already made my choice.
"Thank you," I whisper as he lets me go, turning to leave before I change my mind.
As I step out of the meeting room, I feel the weight of our turmoil lingers behind me. Today is going to be difficult, but perhaps tomorrow might be different. For now, I need to gather my thoughts reclaim my space, and hopefully calm down and talk to him soon
---
The hours dragged on, each tick of the clock echoing in my mind. I buried myself in work, trying to drown out the emotional storm brewing within me. But every time I glanced up, I caught sight of Lucas, deep in conversation with another executive, his laughter ringing out like a cruel reminder of what we had just lost.
I hated how much I missed him. The way he could light up a room with his energy, how he always had the right thing to say to make me feel better. But that was before the fightβthe fight that had revealed cracks in our relationship that I hadnβt been ready to face.
My jealousy. My incompetence to love him like he does even when I know he isnβt the one at fault. But thinking he played a part in my staying in the dark is killing me. I know I should talk to him but damnit; Iβm only human. Confrontation hurts just as much as fighting, especially if itβs with the ones you love.
As lunch approached, I decided a break was necessary. I slipped into the break room, hoping for a moment of quiet. The chatter of my colleagues faded into the background as I poured myself a cup of juice. Just as I was about to exhale, I heard the door swing open behind me.
"Hey, Iris!" It was Mary. "Youβre looking a bit tense. Everything okay?" She sounded like she knew something, but I had to calm myself inside my head and believe she didnβt know anything, although, knowing her, Iβd say she already did.
"Yeah, just a long morning," I replied, forcing a smile.
She eyed me skeptically but didnβt press further. "Letβs go eat lunch."
I hesitated. The thought of spending time with friends was inviting, but a part of me wanted to retreat into solitude. "I think Iβll just grab something quick. Maybe next time?"
"Okay, but donβt be a stranger," she said, her voice a mix of friendly concern and light-heartedness.
I nodded and watched her leave, feeling the weight of her gaze linger. I sighed and took a sip of my juice, the bitter taste grounding me momentarily.
When I returned to my desk, I found a note slipped under my keyboard. It was from Lucas, written in his familiar scrawl: "Can we talk after work? Please. β L"
My heart sank. The last thing I wanted was to have another emotional confrontation. I crumpled the note in my fist, wrestling with the part of me that longed to respond positively. But I couldnβt. Not yet.
The day dragged on like molasses, each minute feeling like an hour. I focused on my tasks, but my mind kept drifting back to Lucasβhis smile, his voice, the way he always knew how to make me laugh. I missed him so fiercely it hurt.
Finally, the clock struck five. I gathered my things, my heart racing at the thought of leaving the office without facing him. But I couldnβt stay. I pushed through the exit, the cool air hitting my face like a splash of cold water once I was outside.
As I walked to my car, I noticed Lucas standing by his vehicle, his expression unreadable. My heart raced again, and I considered turning back, but it was too late. He spotted me and took a step forward.
"Iris!" he called, his voice cutting through the cool evening air.
I paused, my heart pounding. I wanted to turn and run, but something held me in place. He approached slowly as if sensing my reluctance.
"Can we just talk for a minute?" he asked, his tone softer now.
I looked away, the guilt bubbling up inside me. "Lucas, I told you I need space."
"I know, but I canβt just let this go. I need to understand what happened. We were so good together, and now..." His voice trailed off, frustration and sadness mingling.
I took a deep breath, summoning the courage to speak. "Itβs not that simple. We fought, and I donβt want to pretend everything is fine when itβs not."
"Then letβs figure it out together," he pleaded. "I donβt want to lose you."
"Youβre not going to lose me," I screamed in my head.
The vulnerability in his eyes pierced through my defenses. I felt my resolve waver, but I couldnβt let it break. "Lucas, I just... I need time to think. I canβt process everything when youβre right in front of me."
He stepped closer, desperation etched in his features. "I care about you, Iris. I donβt want to lose what we have."
I closed my eyes, fighting back tears. "I care about you too, but right now, I need to be alone. Please, just give me that."
Silence enveloped us, heavy and unresolved. I watched as his expression shifted from hope to resignation. He nodded slowly, though I could see the hurt in his eyes.
"Okay," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "Iβll give you space. But please donβt take too long."
I nodded, feeling the weight of his words settle in my chest like a stone. "I wonβt. I just... I need to sort out my mind."
He stepped back, creating a distance that felt both necessary and painful. I turned away, my heart aching as I walked to my car. The door clicked shut behind me, sealing me in a cocoon of solitude.
Driving home, I fought back tears. I had wanted to be strong, to take control of my emotions, but the truth was that I felt lost. I missed Lucas, missed the laughter and connection we shared. But I also knew that I couldnβt rush into resolving things without understanding myself first.
Now that I pulled into my parking space and am not driving anymore, the reality of what is happening hits me, and I take a moment to breathe alone. I need to confront my emotions, to untangle the mess that has formed between us. I didnβt want to lose him, but I couldnβt allow myself to be swept away without clarity.
Thank goodness Iβll be alone tonight. That way, I can hug myself and reflect without worrying about anyone seeing or disturbing me.
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