The Last Place Hero's Return-Chapter 47: Interlude – The Cursed-Eye Spider

I felt the soft, slippery sensation of a tongue invading my mouth, and the sharp scent of tobacco tickled my nose.

From somewhere far away, Iris’s scream rang out. “Oh my Goddddddd! That crazy bitch, what the hell is she doing— Mmph! Mmph! Urrgh!”

Her voice seemed muffled halfway through, and it was followed by Camilla’s frantic voice as she struggled to restrain Iris. “M-milady! Please calm down!”

Chaos rippled across the training ground, and the candidates were abuzz with shock.

“W-what the hell?!”

“Is Professor Baldwin kissing... Dale?”

“A tall black-haired beauty in a suit kissing him?! Damn that Dale!”

“But if Professor Baldwin is Professor Kane’s senior, then she’s got to be at least twice our age...”

“Onee-shota?[1] Even better!”

“Shut it, Albert.”

I had no room in my head to focus on the noise. I was just as blindsided about this as everyone else. I never would’ve guessed that the first person I would kiss after regressing would be Professor Baldwin, not Iris. And it was not just a kiss; it was an intense one, with tongue and everything.

“Puhah!” I finally broke free from Professor Baldwin’s grasp, panting hard as I glared at her. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

She licked her lips with the very tongue that had just been inside my mouth. “I told you. I needed to confirm something.”

The moment she swallowed, a surge of mana erupted, and her violet eyes split vertically, turning grotesque like a reptile’s. A golden pupil glinted through the narrow slits of those violet irises. Reminiscent of her title, the chilling Cursed Eye locked directly onto me.

“Hm.” She stared at me intensely for a moment before nodding to herself. “Well, you’re not a demon.”

“You kissed me to find that out?” I asked.

“Strictly speaking, I needed your bodily fluids. My blessing works much better if I ingest them,” she explained.

“Blessing?”

As I tried to recall what her blessing was, Professor Kane explained, “Professor Baldwin has the Blessing of Insight. It lets her see into people’s innermost selves. That’s why she was invited as a special professor.”

“Ahh!”

The reason no one had caught on to the demon hiding in the academy before the recent demonic monster incident was that no one had the means to see through their disguise. If someone like Professor Baldwin had been stationed at the academy, the catastrophe could’ve been avoided.

It was now that I vaguely recalled hearing about the Blessing of Insight in my previous life. It was when turncoats blessed by the Demon God had begun emerging among the heroes. I had completely forgotten about it. It made sense. We had never interacted in my past life, and during the time the turncoats were surfacing, I was barely scraping by as a mercenary, fighting day and night. There was no reason I would have remembered her blessing clearly.

I couldn’t expect myself to remember everything from my past life. Most people couldn’t remember what they had for lunch three days ago. Expecting to perfectly recall hundreds, no, thousands of years from my previous life, much of which I had spent wandering the continent alone, was absurd.

Anyway, a blessing that lets her see a person’s inner truth, huh? And she said ingesting bodily fluids amplified the effect? I thought.

As I recalled the lingering sensation of her tongue in my mouth, I asked, “Are you planning to kiss everyone in the academy?”

She smiled faintly and shook her head. “Of course not. Usually, I can identify demons without needing anything like that.”

“Then why kiss me?”

“Because you’re far too strange.” Her gaze sharpened.

I swallowed hard and gave a reluctant nod. That was fair. Honestly, if the roles were reversed, I would have reacted the same way.

Staring at her, I asked, “So? Did you find the answers you were looking for?”

Professor Baldwin let out a dry laugh and shook her head. “No. In fact, I have more questions now. But I did learn one thing.”

“And that is?”

She leaned in close, so close her lips brushed my ear. In a hushed voice, she whispered, “Your cadet file says you have no blessings. Don’t you think that needs updating?”

Damn it! I cursed inside.

She had figured out I had the Blessing of Resurrection. At least, she hadn’t seen the Primordial Flame. If her insight had pierced that far, things would have become a whole lot messier.

She shrugged. “Well, I’ll leave it to your discretion whether to reveal it or not. It’s not against academy rules to keep a blessing hidden.”

A low, cold voice cut through the air like a dagger. “What are the two of you whispering about?”

I felt the newcomer’s glare before I even turned.

“You must be Iris,” Professor Baldwin said.

“If you’re finished, would you kindly step away from Dale?” Iris replied.

Professor Baldwin’s violet eyes sparkled, intrigued by Iris’s sharp tone. “Oh my! I didn’t expect the Saintess of the Holy Empire to be so friendly with a bottom-ranked cadet.”

“Does someone’s ranking determine who they’re allowed to befriend?” Iris replied.

“No, I suppose not.”

“Then I don’t see the problem.”

Professor Baldwin gave a sly grin like a cat that had just spotted a new toy. “But still, isn’t it inappropriate for a Saintess to be getting cozy with a male cadet?”

“The teachings of the Seven Gods say nothing about avoiding contact with the opposite sex,” Iris replied firmly.

“Haha, what a bold little Saintess.” Chuckling, Professor Baldwin stepped even closer to me, looking like she just had a fantastic idea.

Now, we were completely pressed together. I tried to ignore the softness of her chest against my suit while stiffly asking, “What now?”

She ran a finger under my chin, her voice dead serious. “Well, once wasn’t quite enough for certainty. I believe further investigation on Dale is necessary.”

Iris clutched Professor Baldwin’s shoulder in a panic. “W-wait! Didn’t you say the investigation was over?”

“I said I learned something. I don’t recall saying I was done investigating.”

“Urgh!”

Professor Baldwin glanced at me. “Now then, shall we take our time and continue, nice and slow?”

Iris tugged hard at her shoulder, pulling her back. “Eek!”

Professor Baldwin continued teasing her. “I do have a duty to investigate suspicious cadets as a special professor, you know.”

“Who’s suspicious?! And if it’s just bodily fluids you need, kissing isn’t your only option!” Iris replied.

“Oh? Then what would you suggest?”

“W-well... s-sweat, for example!”

“Hm! Very well. Following your suggestion, Iris, I’ll proceed to lick the sweat off Dale’s neck—”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT! N-no! Who said you could go licking Dale?” Iris shouted.

Professor Baldwin clicked her tongue in irritation as she glanced back at Iris. “No saliva, no sweat. Then what exactly can I do?”

“Uh... w-well.” Flustered and fumbling her words, Iris suddenly clenched her fists and shouted, “We could beat Dale up and make him cry! Or stab him and make him bleed. That works too!”

Excuse me? Iris, what the hell are you even saying right now? I said in my mind.

Professor Baldwin came to my defense. “Hmm. Judging by Dale’s expression, he doesn’t look too thrilled about those options.”

“T-then...” Her voice trailing off, Iris’s gaze drifted toward the sign by the entrance of the training ground.

It read: “Restrooms – Outside and to the right.”

Swallowing hard, Iris said, “Urine is technically a bodily fluid too, mmmmgh?!”

I immediately clamped my hand over Iris’s mouth. “STOP!”

Please don’t say another word! I added in my mind.

Professor Baldwin burst into laughter. It was the first time she had ever shown anything close to a bright smile, always being so solemn before.

Professor Kane walked over, exhaling deeply. “That’s enough fooling around, Professor Baldwin. Let’s end it here.”

Professor Baldwin wiped a tear from her eye as she nodded, still chuckling. “Haha, goodness! It’s been a while since I’ve laughed like that.”

Scowling, Iris turned toward Professor Kane. “Joking? What do you mean, joking?”

“There’s no point in drinking any more bodily fluids. It won’t enhance the effect of the Blessing of Insight,” Professor Kane explained.

In other words, Professor Baldwin’s talk of further investigation had been a joke all along.

“Hrk!” Iris turned a deep red, glaring daggers at Professor Baldwin.

Unfazed, Professor Baldwin turned away coolly. “That’s it for the cadet investigations. Everyone, return to your classrooms and resume your lessons. I’ll be heading to another combat training session.”

“W-wait! You’re just leaving like that?” Iris shouted.

Professor Baldwin teased her again. “Hmm? Would you prefer I spend more time investigating Dale?”

“That’s not what I...” Biting her lip, Iris clenched her fists and trembled slightly. “Just go. Please.”

Turning on her heel, she grabbed my arm. “Let’s go, Dale.”

“Ah, y-yeah,” I said.

“And stay after class. I have a lot to say to you,” Iris said coldly.

“Got it.”

As I was being dragged away by Iris, Professor Baldwin called out to me, “Ah, Dale?”

“Yes?” I said, turning my head.

Professor Baldwin gave me a sly smile, a finger lightly pressed to her lips. “Not bad.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hehe. Who knows?” With that cryptic remark, she turned and walked away, her heels clicking sharply across the floor.

***

Later, inside the well-organized faculty office, Lucas let out a long sigh as he looked at the woman before him. “Why did you do that?”

Without even turning her head, Elisha casually sipped her coffee. “Do what?”

“You were never the type to joke around like that.”

“Time changes more than just mountains and rivers. It changes people, too.”

Lucas sighed so heavily that it seemed as though the earth itself would crack.

Elisha, quietly sipping her coffee, softly said, “His name was Dale, right?”

“Yes.”

“I like him.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“He’s my type, looks-wise. And I liked how his lips felt, too,” Elisha replied.

Lucas was speechless.

With a smirk, she set her cup down on the table. “I’m joking.”

Lucas narrowed his eyes, studying her. “The fact that you like him doesn’t sound like a joke, though.”

Elisha’s eyes sparkled. “It’s only natural for a female to be drawn to a strong male, isn’t it? His mana control, his precise use of power, the way he moved and observed things, it’s not normal for a cadet to be able to do that. Dale will become a powerful hero one day. Maybe even greater than the Great Five Heroes.”

“Isn’t that a bit of an overstatement?”

Elisha leaned back against the sofa, her eyes drifting toward the ceiling. “Hehe. Perhaps.”

As she absentmindedly traced her lips with a finger, the feeling she had sensed through the Blessing of Insight when she kissed Dale came flooding back. She couldn’t fully perceive it even with the Blessing of Insight, but she was certain about one thing.

There’s more than just the Blessing of Resurrection in him. Something enormous, something fierce, burning wildly. If he ever masters that power hidden inside him, a monster unlike anything the world has ever seen would be born. And there’s no guarantee that monster would be on humanity’s side.

Elisha quietly chuckled to herself, the lingering memory of Dale’s lips playing in her mind. She had shared countless kisses for the sake of extracting bodily fluids before, but never once did she feel anything close to pleasure from it. Yet, when she recalled that kiss with Dale, her lips curled upward on their own.

Lucas broke her out of her thoughts. “Erm, Senior?”

Perhaps irritated at having her pleasant memory interrupted, Elisha turned to Lucas with a frown. “What is it?”

“I know Dale’s talented, but... don’t you think it’s a bit morally off to have eyes for a male cadet who’s twenty years younger?”

“Spit it out properly, Lucas.”

“It just seems kind of morally bankrupt to be ogling a guy that much younger—”

With a high-pitched metallic whine, invisible silver threads wrapped around Lucas’s body. Like a fly trapped in a web, he writhed helplessly, completely immobilized. “ACKK!”

Elisha pressed the tip of her sharp heel into his chest and coldly said, “Any last words?” 𝓯𝙧𝙚𝒆𝙬𝙚𝒃𝙣𝙤𝒗𝓮𝓵.𝙘𝙤𝙢

“I’m sorry! Please spare me, Senior.”

1. Onee-shota refers to a pairing of a young male character (shota) with an older female character. ☜