The Return of the Crazy Demon-Chapter 3: Tell Your Cult Leader I'm Sorry

The Left Hand of Illuminating Light's face becomes sullen at my words.

"I only called it a sacred item, how did you know that it's called the Heavenly Pearl?"

"Do you think all I did these past three days was run? I also had a great time eating, taking a dump, reciting poems, and torturing your men. I even went sailing, it was a fulfilling time."

The Left Hand of Illuminating Light glares at his men waiting behind him and then asks.

"You weaklings couldn't even handle his torture?"

"Your men should know what this is, but they know nothing. I must know what this is before I die."

The Left Hand of Illuminating Light replies to me in a low tone.

"…Crazy Demon, that is a special supplement made for the Cult Leader. If other people consume it, their limbs will melt, so don't even think about it. Its method of creation is complex and precise. That's why I came personally to retrieve it."

"Stop lying through your teeth. Do I look like an innocent lady from the Namgoong Family? Or a Baek-ri Family beauty that lightens up men's faces? You fucking pervert."

"You don't believe me when I tell you the truth. It is called a sacred item because the Cult Leader has to take it. You have to believe me."

"That's strange. If this is a supplement, wouldn't that old man take this before starting close-door training?"

"Everyone has their own circumstances. His martial arts training has its own strict order."

"How did you make it? It looks refined instead of being found in nature."

"Will you give it to me if I tell you?"

Instead of answering, I look into the Left Hand of Illuminating Light's eyes.

"Nope."

Knowing the evil deeds that the Demon Cult had committed so far, I could roughly guess how it was made.

Moreover, the color of the Heavenly Pearl changes depending on the surrounding temperature and sunlight. It was as if extreme Yang and extreme Yin energies were mixing inside.

If I had to describe it, the Pearl's structure was in a Yin and Yang pattern.

In the Demon Cult's terms, it's a reverse Yin and Yang.

It also means that the supplement is no ordinary medicine because it is instilled with both Yin and Yang energies.

It wouldn't be strange if Kangho faced destruction if this made it to the hands of the Demon Cult's Leader.

'Damn it… the Murim Alliance has to hand me that Hero of the Year award for this. Fuckers.'

My predictions came true.

"Ah, I get it now. I think I'm a genius. Let me guess. This is why you guys attack different sects and declare wars with the Murim Alliance all the time. I don't know how, but you took out the essence of living warriors and distilled it into this pill. It probably wasn't easy to make either, since you had to extract both extreme Yin and extreme Yang energy."

While I was explaining, I realized the Cult Leader's underlying intentions.

"Only if the person has a Yin and Yang body, or have their Dantian balanced with extreme Yin and extreme Yang energy can maximize its effects. Ah, is that why the old man did closed-door training? Was I wrong? Or was the old geezer planning to change to a different body?"

The supplement would be more effective when taken in a new body.

The Left Hand of Illuminating Light smiles as he listens to my explanation.

"Damned bastard, I thought you were just a brainless freak."

"You're welcome."

"Think what you want. Even if you knew the truth, it still costs more than your life."

"Right."

"You don't have a Yin and Yang Body, so give it to me."

"If the Cult Leader takes this, he will become invincible. He's already powerful enough, just how much stronger does he plan to be? I can't give it to you, that's how a lone hero does things."

I was joking, but Left Hand didn't laugh at all.

"…"

This is why the Demon Cult and I can't get along.

The Left Hand of Illuminating Light continues to stare at me.

He must be scared I will fall down into the valley if we fight.

In fact, it's too much of a hassle to jump into the valley myself.

What kind of idiot would jump off a cliff? Unless a miracle is waiting below, that is.

Then, the only answer is to do something that annoys the Left Hand of Illuminating Light in this situation.

My injuries are severe anyway, so I swallow the Heavenly Pearl without much thought.

Watching as the Heavenly Pearl goes down my esophagus with a gulp, the Left Hand's face turns pale white.

Savoring the taste of Heavenly Pearl, I say.

"It's sweet. It tastes like peaches and has a refreshing aftertaste. Did you mix peaches in for the old Cult Leader's sake? Bahahahaha."

Not only the Left Hand of Illuminating Light but his subordinates are also staring at me with wide eyes. To exaggerate it a little, every one of them looked like they were about to faint. The Left Hand of Illuminating Light points at me and stutters in disbelief.

"Y-y-you ate it?"

My face becomes slightly grim.

"You said it was a supplement, crazy bastard. Supplements are good for the body. I wish you the misfortune of the old Cult Leader's commands. Relax. Your men will report what they exactly saw. Or maybe I'll kill you all with my own hands."

Left Hand stomps his feet in anger and yells.

"You crazy punk! That-!"

I act like a fool on purpose.

"Should I have given it to the Cult Leader? But it's already gone into my stomach. Keurgh…!"

The sensation of the Heavenly Pearl entering my stomach is strange. I'm not joking, but it weirdly tastes like a large peach.

However, my body was feeling even stranger.

I frown and touch my lower abdomen.

It feels like my Dantian is being forcefully torn into two.

From the Demon Cult troops' perspective, my face must have been slowly becoming paler.

I am experiencing the bizarre feeling of my Dantian forcefully becoming half extreme Yin and half extreme Yang. It's not a painful process, so it must just be the effect of a sacred item.

Grinding his teeth, the Left Hand of Illuminating Light orders his men.

"Kill him! No. Catch him alive. I'll grind him alive and present him to the Cult Leader."

"Roger!"

I hold out my hand and frown as if I am about to say something.

"Wait! Roger my ass. I have something to say. I feel sick. Wait, I think I have to spit it out."

I look at the Left Hand with the most serious expression in the world.

Hearing that I'm about to spit the Heavenly pearl out, Left Hand raises his hand and puts his men on standby.

"Halt!"

The Left Hand holds his breath.

I continue with a serious expression.

"My Dantian…"

"What about your Dantian?"

"It's heating up and cooling down back and forth, I think I have an upset stomach. This supplement doesn't work well with my body."

In fact, every time I farted, it rang like a thunderstorm, causing the troops to frown and cover their noses.

"…"

The Left Hand of Illuminating Light covers his nose with his hand and says.

"Spit it out already."

I also cover my nose and reply.

"Stop whining like a baby, and I never said I'd spit it out. I have to take a shit… You guys head down the mountain first. I'm a gentleman, so I can't let you see me take a dump."

"What?"

As I watch Left Hand's face grow white, I calmly say.

"Tell the Cult Leader that I'm sorry, and that he can come back later and dig through my shit. My shit will contain answers to becoming a Demon God (魔神). Ah, he will become the first person to become a grand Demon Cult Leader using poop. At last, the man named the Crazy Demon took the greatest dump in the world. How legendary."

After trying to listen to me seriously, the Left Hand of Illuminating Light eventually loses his reason and shoots energy through his palms at me.

'Damn it!'

I have no choice but to counteract the Left Hand of Illuminating Light's attack with the Strolling Golden Turtle Technique (金龜逍遙功).

Immense palm-shaped energies collide in the air.

Boooooooooooooooom!

The Left Hand of Illuminating Light was knocked back at a tremendous speed, and I got pushed back three or four steps out over the valley's gaping mouth.

At that moment, I learned for the first time that the Left Hand of Illuminating Light had mastered an extremely cold-natured martial arts technique.

'So this bastard mastered Ice Qi (氷功).'

The Left Hand was pushed back a little further than I, but my pride is hurt because of my severe injuries.

I become momentarily flustered as I feel my body begin falling down the cliff.

Things never go as planned.

Watching the Demon Cult members getting further away as I fall, I laugh.

"Wuhahahahaha."

My laughter echoes throughout the valley, and before I knew it, it rang so loud that it filled the Heavens and Earth.

Did my laughter become this loud because of Heavenly Pearl?

Also, the valley is profoundly deep.

I continue to laugh as I fall endlessly into the valley's abyss.

While my legs were fine, the strange energy of Heavenly Pearl crawling in my Dantian is causing my strength to overflow despite my exhaustion.

This wasn't planned either.

Just before hitting the floor, the force of my fall is offset by my Smiling Windstorm (狂風一笑) technique. My body flips three and a half times before landing lightly on the ground.

An almost perfect landing.

"Hehehehe."

I look up and see the Left Hand of Illuminating Light and his low-ranking troops, who might die as they fall from that height, had also jumped down into the valley and are running toward me.

They might be my enemies, but seeing how the whole group jumped down at a single command is so impressive that I can't help but admire and give them applause.

"Woah… those damned lunatics."

The Demon Cult is indeed the Demon Cult. They would do anything to follow an order; that's why the Murim Alliance could never penetrate through to the Demon Cult's headquarters.

"But half of them will die from fracturing their bodies."

Several die instantly after hitting the bottom of the cliff or protruding rocks, filling the valley with their screams.

As I watch them die, I understand Left Hand's words that there is no one in this world who does not fear the Cult Leader.

The Demon Cult is a terrifying organization.

Although their official name was the Heavenly Demon Cult, only the cultists themselves call it that.

Then suddenly, the valley, the blue sky, and even the Demon Cult believers falling through the air disappear as everything turns white.

"Hm?"

Oh my goodness.

Everything is pure white.

A man then floats down the air in front of me, his face being obscured from my sight by a peculiarly brilliant light.

Damn, I wasn't expecting this kind of a surprise.

Just who is this guy?

I have a hunch that my life (生死) is in his hands from this moment on.

To my surprise, I can no longer hear the wind.

As if the world had stopped, a mysterious man slowly descends to the ground in silence.

What the hell? What kind of martial arts is that?

I'm surprised that a man can descend from that height with his hands behind his back.

As I quickly scan the surroundings, I notice that even the bottom of the valley is pure white.

The man with an overwhelming presence approaches me with his hands behind his back and says.

"I can't believe you swallowed an item with souls inside it so easily. You must be crazy."

I shudder the moment I hear his voice. It is a strange voice mixed with a martial artist's confidence, courage, and dignity. A voice that transcends the mundanity of existence.

This man is on a different level.

I ask him.

"I am indeed crazy, but who are you?"

Only then did I get a close look at the mysterious man.

He wore the same attire as a martial artist like me, but they are way out of fashion. It gives the impression of an absolute martial master that had walked out of an ancient painting.

Even the best masters of this era would not be able to maintain their sanity in front of this overwhelming presence.

I'm well informed of all the true masters of Kangho, but the identity of this man is a mystery to me.

I voice out my innermost thoughts.

"You're strong."

I'm sure I've never praised anyone like this before. I am surprised that I didn't know of such a man present in Kangho.

The man replies to me with a hesitant look.

"Indeed. You're holding out well in front of me, too. That's good. But why did you swallow the Heavenly Pearl? Numerous souls of incredible martial artists are locked up in the Heavenly Pearl and now they can't ascend. Do you understand this?"

"Do you take me as a fool?"

The man touches his chin for a while and agonizes before continuing.

"Those souls are unable to ascend, and are now stuck to your soul."

"What?"

"If you sleep, the souls will wake you, and if you eat, they will share the essence of the food, and the spirits will cling onto whoever you touch. And your Qi will go berserk and explode."

In the midst of that, I note some pleasant words.

'Oh, I like the sound of that about my Qi.'

The man continues.

"You are now a living Heavenly Pearl and a half-ghost. There's no longer a chance for you to live a normal life."

"I never lived a normal life in the first place."

"So it seems. You've been through a lot of Qi Deviation."

"How did you know that?"

"If you have time, look in the mirror. Your eyes aren't normal… Qi Deviation often comes with mental illnesses."

"What if the Cult Leader had eaten this Heavenly Pearl instead? I didn't eat it because I wanted to. I didn't want the Cult Leader to have it."

The man smiles.

"Did you eat it with good intentions?"

"That's right."

It's the truth. Somehow this guy seems to have the ability to see through lies. That's also why he knows I'm not lying.

The man sighs and continues.

"It seems you are speaking the truth. The Heavenly Pearl is an item that goes against nature. If the Cult Leader had taken this, I would have been punished for my involvement in what came after. But things never go as planned in this world."

Such is the nature of this scary world, that even such a great man can have something unexpected happen to them.

He continues.

"Even so, those souls must ascend. That way, their past life's mistakes will be considered and individually judged in the afterworld. Many people who have lived a fairly good life are locked in there and they must be freed."

"What should I do then? It sounds like you're asking me to die faster. I can't do that. Why don't you take me to the Cult Leader? I think I'll be able to die in peace if I at least die with that old geezer, I'll kill him and then end myself."

The man responds with a smile.

"Don't play tricks on me."

"I'm caught already? You're quick-witted."

"Why do you hate the Cult Leader so much?"

"Don't even start."

"Why?"

"Why? "

The Cult Leader doesn't see people as equal to him. My life's long-cherished desire was to beat the Cult Leader to death. I raise my finger as I am about to reply to his question.

But the man seems to already know my answer.

The man replies.

"Because he doesn't see others as human?"

I nod while maintaining eye contact with the man.

"Exactly, and that was the entire reason I wanted to kill him."

The man folds his arms and smiles faintly.

"That's a good reason."

"A good reason?"

I stare at the man. Strangely, he is a man I could converse normally with. I couldn't believe it initially, but this man must have been close to God.

The man unfolds his arms and sighs as if giving up on something before pointing his finger at me and saying.

"Lee Zaha…"

I widen my eyes.

'He knows my name?'

The man continues.

"This is your final chance. Don't swallow the Heavenly Pearl again. I'll be serving my punishment, so I won't be able to help you. Whatever the result, I'll treat you with kindness. This is the best choice I can give and the best gift you will receive."

The man reaches out to me.

For a moment, I wonder if I am about to die.

Given the circumstances, I probably won't.

As soon as a light flashes from the man's extended hand, I wonder what the hell it was as my five senses disappear.

'Huh?'

It seems like my consciousness is about to be cut off.

.

.

.

Am I dead?

It feels like my whole body is falling apart, but there is no pain.

My soul whispers just before I lose consciousness.

I don't want to die yet.

Oh, I…

I've never been with a beautiful woman…

Damn it…!