The Substitute Healer (BL)-Chapter 83: “That pretentious bastard…”

A moment later, Soren closed his eyes and slowly lifted his hands, resting them over Elias’s palms on his face as he finally broke down that the sobs he’d been holding in spilled out all at once.

Seeing that, Elias leaned forward and pulled him into an embrace with one hand patting his back in a steady rhythm while Soren buried his wet face against him.

The truth was, Soren wanted to tell him so many things but with everything that had happened, the words just wouldn’t come.

He wanted to say that it hurt, so much more than he ever admitted.

That his life in the north wasn’t filled with pride or achievement, but with pain and cold indifference. That what he had gained there wasn’t strength, but deeper wounds and quiet suffering.

He wanted to rant, to let it all spill out, but he couldn’t.

He wanted to hate the people who hurt him, but he didn’t know how.

Soren knew how pathetic that made him sound, yet every time he tried to summon hatred, the pain in his chest only grew worse. He didn’t understand why he was made that way, why even anger felt like something he wasn’t allowed to keep.

"There, there... I’m here," Elias murmured softly. "Cry it all out."

"Elias..." Soren whispered with his voice barely audible as he hugged him tighter, his face still buried against Elias’s shoulder.

"Hmm..." Elias replied, not saying much.

He just gently adjusted their position, lifting Soren while keeping his arms around him.

Still holding each other, he led them to the bed and sat down on the edge. The bed was wide enough for both of them, and Soren ended up on Elias’s lap while still clinging to him with his head tucked against his shoulder.

And Elias stayed still with one arm around Soren’s back, keeping him close because Soren didn’t move away. He just stayed there, breathing unevenly while holding on.

No one rushed the moment.

"I’m sorry..." Soren whispered with his lifeless voice while sniffling despite the tears having mostly stopped.

He just kept his face pressed against Elias’s shoulder, refusing to look up.

Elias frowned while leaning closer with his fingers brushing gently through Soren’s hair as if tracing it could coax his face to look at him. "Stop apologizing," he murmured. "You did nothing wrong..." He rested his chin lightly on Soren’s head while letting him feel the steady warmth of his presence.

Elias knew this all too well.

Every year, when his mother’s death anniversary came around, Soren’s emotions sank to their lowest.

He froze in indecision, barely spoke, and wandered through the day with vacant eyes, as if life itself had loosened its grip. Elias had seen him like that, seen how he seemed to drift toward despair, and he hated it.

Sometimes he feared that without him, Soren might have already given in, disappeared quietly into nothing.

That thought tightened his chest every time.

It was why he always tried so hard, why he held him and why he made jokes or nudged him to smile.

Because if Soren had even the smallest flicker of happiness, Elias felt like he had a reason to keep going too.

"Elias... I think I did something wrong..." Soren’s voice trembled as he hugged Elias tighter while burying his face deeper into his shoulder.

"No, you didn’t," Elias replied, tightening his arms around him.

He then rubbed small circles along Soren’s back while trying to ground him and to make him feel safe.

"Then why... why does everyone, everywhere I go, hate me..." Soren’s hands clutched at Elias’s tunic with hs fingers digging in as if holding on might stop the world from spinning.

"They’re just blind to who you really are, Soren," Elias said softly, tilting Soren’s chin up gently so their eyes would meet, though Soren flinched slightly, reluctant to stare back. "They’re the ones in the wrong, okay? Please... don’t listen to them."

Soren’s grip loosened a little, but his shoulders shook. "I don’t know what to do, Elias..."

Elias tightened his hold again while pressing his forehead lightly against the side of Soren’s head, letting the silence fill the space.

"I don’t know what to do..." Soren sobbed again with his hands clutching Elias’s sides as he trembled, and Elias held him even closer, rocking him slightly and whispering, "Shh... I’m here... I’m not going anywhere."

When Soren didn’t answer, Elias hesitated for a moment while watching him sit there with his shoulders stiff and still hands. The quiet stretched too long, and it hurt to see him so shut down and so weighed down by everything he’d been through.

Without thinking too much, Elias spoke up. "Soren... why don’t you just come back with me? Leave all this behind. You don’t have to think about anything else." His voice was gentle but firm, desperate to reach him. "I’ll take care of things, I promise. I’ve been saving my earnings, just enough that we could live comfortably for at least six months or maybe longer if we’re careful. I can handle that much. We’ll figure out the rest later."

He then shifted slightly so he could look at Soren with his hand resting on his back to keep him steady. "It’s better than seeing you like this," he added softly. "I can’t... I just can’t watch you hurt so much. I can’t bear it, Soren."

He waited, hoping Soren would understand that sometimes, he didn’t have to be strong alone, that it was okay to let someone else help.

Meanwhile, while Soren and Elias were having their quiet moment, Lyric and Sylas were talking nearby. Lyric mostly stayed silent and just listening until he heard that Soren had a visitor.

That was enough to make his anger flare.

"Look at that commoner," Sylas uttered sarcastically. "Acting all high and mighty... even calling another dick? Is that really someone you’re defending, brother? Just like the knights said, he’s nothing but a slut. You know you can’t trust commoners and that Soren guy? He’s no different. Filthy. You get what I mean now, right?"

He leaned in a little with cold eyes while trying to make Lyric see Soren the way he did.

"That pretentious bastard..."

When Sylas heard just how forcefully his twin was pushing his point, he couldn’t help but smirk with a little smug. He was quietly glad to see Lyric back to his usual self or at least back to the version of him he remembered before everything went off track.

Meanwhile, Cael, hearing bits and pieces about Soren from around him, didn’t let it distract him.

He just stayed focused on his work, prioritizing the case of the beasts that had gone silent rather than worrying about Soren’s whereabouts.

"Yes, something happened between us, but so what? Do people really expect me to dwell on it? What a useless thought," Cael muttered to himself, spinning a quill between his fingers. "Focus on what’s important, Cael." He set his mind back on the task at hand, pushing the gossip aside.