The Young master's fake bride and her lucky system-Chapter 280: Thoughts about Lin Qianfan.

Never before had Alix so badly wanted to read something. If she could do it magically, she would freeze time and get a look at that note book.

"What are you writing down now?"

Professor He smiled and closed the notebook aggressively. It made the sound, ’pa’ as it closed.

"Nothing really, just this and that." The professor replied. She looked at Alix and said, "If you want to share any examples of instances in your life where you felt like people walked all over you, I am open for discussion."

Alix pushed herself back in the chair, creating some kind of distance between herself and the professor.

"So she likes to keep a physical distance when emotionally threatened and seems to find safety in keeping to herself." Professor He thought.

She moved forward and spoke to Alix in a calm voice. "We have to talk about something. Maybe not right now and maybe not today but it has to happen at some point. It’s why I was hired very expensively. I want you to consider me your safe space. Nothing that you say to me will get back to anyone, not even your husband."

"What if I don’t want to talk?" Alix asked her.

Professor He shrugged and laughed. "Then, we can sit here in silence. You do your work and I observe you until one hour is up, then I leave."

"I am not an animal in the zoo, I do not want to be observed." Alix bit out.

"Then you must talk about anything, it doesn’t matter what. We can even talk about the weather, your shoes, the stars and the moon. Or we can discuss the frown that came over your face when your assistant mentioned your father. Tell me, how do you feel about your father?"

Alix scoffed and crossed her legs. The hands which were folded at her chest became tighter and her fists clenched. It wasn’t just her fists but her jaw too. Her eyes narrowed and her body stiffened.

Professor He quickly opened her notebook. With just one question, she had noticed a plethora of emotions that warranted digging into. This, was an important point, extremely important.

"Seriously, I really don’t want to see that notebook anymore. You are making me feel inadequate because you keep scribbling. It’s like I have too many issues to work out." Alix lowered her arms and almost bit the professor’s head off. "When I move, you write something, when i breathe you write something. This feels like I am in court and everything i say or do is going to be used against me."

In her mind, the silly system elf was laughing. It even wiped away fictional tears that were falling like drops of rain.

Neither of them had pictured therapy going this way. Alix thought she was an open person who was willing to talk and expose all her inadequacies and pains. But this was the opposite because the more she was asked, the more she clammed up. In fact, she seemed to be getting angry. freewēbnoveℓ.com

It was almost as if professor He was making it a point to provoke and see what how Alix reacted.

She took a deep breath and blurted, out, "Fine you want to know how I feel about my father then I will tell you because I am not afraid to say it out loud to anyone. I don’t like him. He is selfish, irresponsible, immoral. If you want a single word then it’s bad. My biological father is a bad, bad man." She looked at professor He curiously and asked, "What next? Now that I have told you this, does anything change?"

Professor He put her notebook aside. She looked at Alix with observant eyes and said slowly, "How do you feel when you say it out loud?"

"Nothing." Alix replied.

Professor He noticed that Alix’s body language had not changed. She had feelings, she was just holding them back.

"I want you to be honest with yourself. How do you feel when you talk about him?"

She unfolded her arms and replied softly, "I don’t want to feel anything. Sometimes I am angry with him and myself. I know the kind of man he is so why did I hold on for so long, thinking that he would change. I want to shake him and ask him why he doesn’t love me. What did I do as a child that caused him to disdain me?

Maybe it was my mother that did something perhaps and I am paying the price for what she did. Such strong hatred cannot possibly come out of the blue, it has to have a genesis.

At one point in my life, I used to hope that I wasn’t his child and I even did a DNA test secretly. I kept my fingers crossed when I was waiting for the results. If I wasn’t his child, it would explain everything. I would leave the Lin family and go off in search of my real parents and they would love me."

She stood up and walked back to her desk. There, she opened a drawer and brought out a piece of paper. She looked at it and her eyes welled up and she crumpled the paper into a ball. "I cried the day I got these results back. Not tears of happiness, but rather sadness and pity for myself. I am his daughter."

She laughed, and sneered with derision. In a voice that steeped in self mockery she said, "Ninety nine point nine percent. "

She marched over to a dustbin in the corner of her office and tossed the crumpled up piece of old paper inside. "I feel anger, misery, self-pity, blame, anger again, more anger and a lot of rage that makes me want to break a large branch off of a tree and whack him over the head repeatedly until I have broken a few bones in his body. I don’t want to kill him, don’t get me wrong. I would never stain my hands with blood but I would like to cause him pain."

She turned to professor He and shrugged. "That’s it. That’s most of what I feel and want to say. There is probably more but it doesn’t come to mind right now. I would need to get a good night’s sleep and come back to it.’"

Professor He wrote down in her little notebook, extremely emotional, high levels of stress, thoughts of aggression and violence. Seems to be holding a grudge. No signs of depression? Possible first level of grief....fear of loss of control. Physical aggression? Father = trigger.

Alix didn’t bother to ask what professor He was scribbling down anymore. Talking about it somewhat seemed to drain her. Never before had she told anybody that she would like to beat up Lin Qianfan.

In her mind, the system elf said, "Maybe therapy works after all. The pushy doctor has got you to reveal a side of yourself that you hide from everyone. Now that you realize you would like to beat up your scummy father, how does that make you feel?"

It chuckled and fell over after asking the question.

Alix didn’t even flinch when it used professor He’s exact voice and tone to ask the question. She just muted it before it could aggravate her.