Transform into a magical girl after getting off work-Chapter 370 - 55 Anxiety_2

No matter how much she hypnotized herself with phrases like "accumulating knowledge to unleash its power" or "a unique constitution," the anxiety in her heart continued to grow unchecked.

And this growing anxiety was bound to erupt one day, the battle with Bai Ji becoming the final spark.

Lin Xiaolu realized something, something she had been deliberately overlooking, but perhaps was now fast approaching.

——Would she always remain at the Seed rank, thus falling behind everyone else?

Let alone standing beside Emerald Sparrow, even Xia Liang and Bai Jingxuan’s pace would grow ever more distant. When it came to that point, if she remained at the Seed rank, was there really any need for her to stay in the squad anymore?

The very thought made her heart feel as though it was being squeezed, and a sense of suffocation overwhelmed her.

She wanted to find Emerald Sparrow.

She wanted to weep about her defeat, to pour out her constant anxiety, to seek comfort, to seek encouragement, to find help.

She longed for Emerald Sparrow to hold her hand as she had when she was first lost, telling her "it’s okay."

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She couldn’t share these feelings with her father, who used to be quite strict and was just an ordinary person; nor could she confide them to teammates who were even younger than her.

Before she knew it, when her heart was heavy and she had no one to confide in, her first choice had become Emerald Sparrow.

Emerald Sparrow was both an admired senior and a dependable elder. The tenderness beneath that indifference had long since changed Lin Xiaolu. For her, who had lost her birth mother, Emerald Sparrow was undoubtedly the closest thing to a "mother" in her current life.

But in the end, Emerald Sparrow wasn’t her "mother."

Lin Xiaolu always wanted to find out why Emerald Sparrow showed her concern, even coming up with the absurd conclusion that "the other party and her father were in love," a thought that made her want to cover her face and scream, all because she wanted to confirm how solid the relationship with Emerald Sparrow really was.

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Neither can a teacher and a disciple take over each other’s responsibilities in everything.

Only a more solid, more intimate, more unbreakable relationship... If it wasn’t like that, her own one-sided dependency would undoubtedly be troublesome for others.

Which is why Lin Xiaolu forced herself not to open the door, not to let all her feelings rush out at once.

Because she didn’t know what Emerald Sparrow’s tolerance limit for her was.

Thinking too highly of her own strength, recklessly accepting challenges and losing miserably, showing a bad attitude at the dinner table, and if she were to go to Emerald Sparrow to cry and seek comfort... That would be disgraceful.

If she imagined herself in that position, surely she would find such a troublesome junior to be an irritating pest?

She didn’t want to, didn’t dare to let Emerald Sparrow be further disappointed in her. Lately, Emerald Sparrow seemed to be quite fond of Bai Jingxuan; if Emerald Sparrow ended up completely disappointed and gave up on her, then she might as well retire as a Magical Girl.

Chaotic thoughts created a whirl in her mind, and she sat in front of the desk for who knows how long, to the point that she even forgot the time.

After a lengthy period, when the waning moon had climbed high in the sky, a knock came from behind the door of the room.

Knock, knock, knock.

The crisp sound broke the silence, pulling Lin Xiaolu back from her thoughts to reality.

Was it Emerald Sparrow again?

That was her first thought, but she soon shook her head, embarrassed by her own weakness. Taking a deep breath to adjust her voice, she pretended that nothing was wrong and said:

"Who is it?"

She had some guesses about who might come at this time; the chances of it being Emerald Sparrow were slim, so it could be Xia Liang or perhaps Bai Jingxuan. Could it be that Asou with no common sense? It was unlikely to be those people from Bai’an City... after she had given them the cold shoulder, they surely wouldn’t be so kind as to come looking for her.

However, the voice outside the door turned out to be unexpected.

"It’s me."

It was a voice that initially felt unfamiliar to Lin Xiaolu, but she quickly recognized who it belonged to.

One could sense the maturity in the voice of its owner, yet it still had a slight girlish lightheartedness and an enchantingly pleasant timbre.

"I heard my subordinate caused you some trouble; I apologize. Would you like to come out for a chat?"

——That was the voice of the Magical Girl, Margaret, who had only appeared before her today, seemingly an old partner of Emerald Sparrow.

...

...

On the fourth floor of the secret base, there was a large public balcony.

Although it was called a balcony, its size was designed to accommodate a small garden. However, none of the Magical Girl squad in Fangting City had a hobby in gardening, so it was left vacant as an ordinary balcony.

Lin Xiaolu seldom came here.

Rather, if it weren’t for the invitation from a woman named Margaret, she probably wouldn’t come here even once in several months.

Not only because her room wasn’t on this floor, and her usual area of activity rarely involved the fourth floor, but also because it was too spacious here. Even if one wanted to find a spot to sit down and enjoy the sunshine, this was hardly a good place.

Not to mention that it was cold winter at the moment, the balcony was especially chilly, and nobody would come here without reason.

Of course, if one needed to have a relatively private conversation, such conditions became a natural sound barrier, effectively preventing eavesdropping.

No doubt, this was also the reason why Margaret chose to have the conversation here.

"...So cold."

After touching the railing on the edge of the balcony, Lin Xiaolu subconsciously inhaled a breath of the cold air and then quickly withdrew her hand.

She looked around, but since the balcony truly had nothing, without any noteworthy points, she could only retract her gaze and look towards the woman not far away, "So, may I ask why you’ve called me out here?"

Her words couldn’t be called particularly friendly or respectful, but the use of the word "please" was already quite restrained for Lin Xiaolu.

"It’s nothing much, just a bit curious about you."

Asou Haruka smiled and gestured with one hand for Lin Xiaolu to relax, "There’s no need to be so tense. I’m not here with any hostility. On the contrary, I’m on your side."

Lin Xiaolu didn’t say a word, but the meaning conveyed by her eyes was very clear, which was "What nonsense are you talking about?"

"Hard to believe?" Asou Haruka asked.

"...That person is your student, right?"

Lin Xiaolu said with a complex expression, "She fought and won against me, and you tell me you’re on my side?"

"Mhm, without a doubt, Bai Ji is indeed my student, to be precise, she’s one I am most satisfied with."

Asou Haruka slightly turned her body and looked towards the night sky, "But because of that, I can’t possibly side with her today."

"Why?" Lin Xiaolu asked, puzzled.

"Because she was wrong in this matter."

Asou Haruka sighed, "Under the premise that the other party is identified as a partner, Magical Girls shouldn’t engage in senseless infighting. Not to mention that it was she who provoked first. In some squads with stricter discipline, such behavior would already constitute the minimal grounds for punishment."

"No... I don’t think what we did could be considered as fighting or ’infighting’..." Lin Xiaolu hesitated.

"Then it’s combat."

Asou Haruka affirmed, "No matter the level or scale, once the struggle between each other involves Magic Power, it must be treated equally."

After saying this, and seeing Lin Xiaolu’s slightly bewildered expression, her voice softened a little, "Hard to accept?"

"I’m a bit confused..." Lin Xiaolu shook her head.

"Because in this world, there’s a significant portion of Magical Girls who, when they strike, it’s hard to define the impact they can have by the ’amount’ of Magic Power used."

Asou Haruka explained, "Although your contest used only a small amount of Magic Power, for some Magical Girls, that tiny bit of Magic Power is enough to put a comrade to death. So, at that time, if she argues ’I only used a little bit of Magic Power’, can she be forgiven?"

"...No?"

"Of course not."

Asou Haruka smiled again, "So, for a Magical Girl, the ’quality’ and ’quantity’ of Magic Power are crucial, but not that crucial. Because in combat, what’s more important than Magic Power itself, is ’how the Magic Power was used’."