Villain Hiring: Help! Author Wants Me Dead-Chapter 205: Heartbreak (2)

It had been a few hours since Noah had come running to me.

That idiot had ranted his shit out and already left through the front door for the daily practices.

Technically, I was also supposed to go but because of everything happening around me, I turned him down.

There were some things I needed to figure out.

Sighing out loud, I started removing my clothes piece by piece, not giving a fuck about the fact that I was in the living room.

After all, I was alone in the house right now and and no one had the keys other than Noah.

I let the last piece of clothing fall carelessly on the floor, not bothering to fold it or even look at it as I walked around the house naked.

The silence in the studio house wrapped around me like a fucking collar on my throat.

I could feel that the emotions I was feeling were more than usual...as if the anger, the sadness, and even my frustration had been amplified.

My skin prickled under the air, pale and soft, too pale almost…like it was glowing faintly in the dim light seeping through the curtains.

I caught sight of myself in the mirror hanging on the wall and paused.

Silver hair spilled over my shoulders, damp with sweat.

My eyes looked wrong. They weren't just the dull shade of black they had always been.

No.

They shimmered faintly, burning like a crimson glow in the dark.

And my body…my body looked different too. Wide hips, curves I'd grown used to over the years, but now there was this strange tightness in my muscles, this raw tension humming under my skin, like I could tear through stone if I wanted to.

Almost 16 years old and suddenly I felt like I'd stepped into the body of someone else.

Someone dangerous.

I turned away quickly and walked into the bathroom, ignoring the way my boobs bounced with every step.

I twisted the knob until steam filled the air. The shower hissed as warm water poured down, and I stepped in, letting it fall over me.

For a moment, it felt good. The heat, the way it rolled over my skin, clinging to every curve, every edge of me.

My small but plump breasts rose and fell as I breathed deeply, trying to steady myself, but it didn't work.

The water only seemed to make me more aware of everything, the way my heartbeat thundered inside my chest, the way my thighs felt strong, heavier, like I could crush anything...anyone in between them.

I leaned my head back and let the water wash through my silver hair.

'Something was wrong with me.'

Ever since I woke up this morning from that nightmare, everything has been…sharper. My eyesight was perfect.

I could see the tiny cracks in the tiles across the bathroom floor, the faintest droplets rolling down the glass door.

My hearing picked up the faint ticking of the clock in the living room, even through the walls and running water.

My whole body buzzed like it was alive with something new.

It was terrifying.

But at the same time…it was also intoxicating.

I curled my hands into fists, feeling the strength coil in my arms. A thought slipped in, uninvited. If I really tried…maybe I could beat Noah now.

My lips trembled as I clutched my fingers against the palm harder.

Noah.

That idiot.

The one who always barges in, yelling, ranting, filling the room with his noise until I want to throw something at him…and yet, when he leaves, the silence feels like death itself.

I pressed my forehead against the cold tiles, closing my eyes as the water streamed down my back.

Why does thinking about him hurt so much?

Why does it feel like he's pulling me apart, piece by piece, just by existing?

Tears mingled with the water running down my cheeks, hot and unstoppable. My breath became shaky , and before I knew it, I was sobbing.

"I hate you, Noah," I whispered, the words choking out of me. My fists slammed weakly against the tiles, water splashing everywhere. "I hate you so much—"

But even as I said it, the truth twisted like a knife in my chest.

I didn't hate him.

I could never hate him.

I hated how much I cared. I hated how much I wanted him. I hated how powerless he made me feel. 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝘦𝘸𝑒𝒷𝓃ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝒸ℴ𝘮

A laugh slipped out of me, sharp and broken. I pressed my palms to my face and laughed again, this awful, cracked sound that echoed off the bathroom walls.

It wasn't funny. None of it was funny. But I couldn't stop laughing and crying all at once, my whole body shaking as water poured over me.

"Look at me," I muttered, my voice rising, trembling. "I'm going insane. I'm losing it."

My eyes burned as I looked down at my trembling hands. They didn't feel like my hands anymore. They felt stronger.

'What if I hurt him?' I thought shakily.

The thought stabbed through me, sending me collapsing to my knees under the stream of water.

I hugged myself tightly, rocking slightly, nails digging into my skin just to feel something real.

"I could crush him…I could really crush him if I'm not careful." My words came out in a whisper, then grew louder, sharper. "I don't want that. I don't want that! I don't want to hurt him!"

The water trickled down my skin, but I barely noticed anymore. My tears had mixed into everything, becoming one with the stream running down the drain.

My chest hurt so much I thought it might burst.

"I just wanted things to stay the same," I sobbed. "I just wanted us to stay the same… stupid, normal, and safe."

But nothing was safe anymore. Not with this power crawling under my skin.

Not with my eyes burning crimson. Not with this…monster staring back at me in the mirror.

The laugh bubbled up again, harsher this time, almost a scream. I clutched my head, pressing my nails into my scalp, trembling violently.

"Monster," I hissed at myself.

"I'm a monster."

And yet, even as I said it, a part of me whispered something darker.

If I'm a monster… maybe he'll finally notice me.

That thought broke me all over again. I slammed my fist into the wall, cracks appearing through the tile.

The sound echoed like a gunshot in the tiny bathroom. My hand shook, but it didn't hurt. Not even a little.

That scared me more than anything else.

I slid down against the wall, curling up on the wet floor, water pouring over me, my silver hair plastered to my skin.

I buried my face in my knees, sobbing so hard I could barely breathe.

I wanted him.

I hated him.

I needed him...but I couldn't stand him.

Noah. Noah. Noah.

His name was the only thing left in my head, looping over and over, until it felt like I was drowning in it.

The shower kept running, drowning out my cries, but it couldn't drown out the chaos inside me.

And deep down, I knew this was only the beginning.

***