When the Wild Beast is Trapped in the Nightmare Cycle (BL)-Chapter 692: So Tired

When he caught sight of Master Shen’s mangled corpse, he shuddered and averted his gaze away in panic, hugging his own body. Shivering as if he was standing naked on top of a snowy mountain, the icy storm battering down on his body.

"Wake up, Nianzu... you have to wake up now..."

But what if... what if he could not wake up? Shen Nianzu began to feel a sense of loss, his consciousness blurred as if shrouded in a thick layer of fog. What if he could not wake up? What, then? Would he be trapped in this nightmare forever, forced to confront the reality that—

He had killed his parents.

His mother, his father, and Qing Mo... he had killed them with his own hands.

What if they were real—and he was the monster hiding amongst them instead?

Shen Nianzu didn’t want to delve deeper into this line of thought, but with each second that passed by and the blood on his body began to cool and coagulate, the doubt sprouted out into a towering tree, its sharp roots penetrating deep into his heart. The pain was relentless, excruciatingly so, driving him to the very edge of madness. He could feel himself having another breakdown, and this time there was nothing he could do to stop it. He began to replay everything that had happened these past few days, dissecting each frame as if he was shredding his own mind, until he eventually paused at the reflection of bloody ’Shen Nianzu’ in the mirror.

His breath abruptly stilled.

He remembered it now, that ’Shen Nianzu’... he had told him to run.

Not to murder his family in cold blood.

No one told him to kill. It was him, it was his own self who—

Shen Nianzu completely broke apart. "No—NO!!" he wailed, his voice as sharp and shrill as that of a vengeful ghost. His mind was on the verge of fracturing into pieces. "This is not happening! This is not my reality! Wake up, Nianzu— you fucking wake up now!"

The truth was much too cruel to bear.

And so Shen Nianzu chose the most cowardly thing to do— escape.

He fled the house in a fit of hysteria, forgetting to clean the blood off his body, forgetting to wear his shoes as well. The rough gravel scraped the soles of his tender feet, yet not a hint of pain was registered in his mind. He was only obeying his instinct now— run! Run as far away as you can!

The wind whistled beside his ears, and the cooling blood on his skin resembled a deluge of filth he was unable to shake off no matter what, an indelible sin tainting the rest of his life. The stretch of road in front of him felt familiar yet so terrifyingly foreign at the same time, for Shen Nianzu belatedly realized this seemed to be the first time he had ever ventured out alone.

Previously, he had always had a company—whether it was Qing Mo or his parents.

Now, though, there was no one else. He had to walk through this alone.

Because he had killed them with his own hands.

He had killed the people closest to his heart, who had always cherished and taken care of him.

A choked sob escaped his throat, and only then did Shen Nianzu realize he was crying. He had been crying all along, tears streaming down his face like an endless river. But due to the blood on his face, it looked more like he was weeping blood instead.

He had not thought of where to go— he just couldn’t bring himself to stay in that house even for one second longer.

Therefore, Shen Nianzu never took into account that even more terrifying things awaited him outside.

When he emerged into the main road, disheveled as he was, he was met with a busy street and pedestrians coming and going. As soon as Shen Nianzu appeared, it was as if an invisible stop button had been pressed, and they all gawked at him in sheer shock, alarm and horror. A scream erupted somewhere nearby. Through his blurred peripheral vision, he saw people whipping out their phones and aiming it at him. Recording him at his worst state.

"No... don’t look... don’t look at me!"

Shen Nianzu recoiled and covered his face, but there was nowhere to hide. He was like a filthy rat dragged out into the open from his hiding place which was the dirty sewer, thrust into the public’s eyes to be judged and executed.

Panic coursed through his entire being, compelling him to run through the crowd like a madman. "Don’t look at me— DON’T LOOK AT ME!"

But the judging gazes and camera lenses followed him, like thousands of ghostly hands tugging at his limbs and hair from behind.

Where to go?

Where could he even go in this state?

Did he still have a place to belong in this world, now that he had destroyed it with his own hands?

Shen Nianzu abruptly halted in the middle of the road, large droplets of tears falling pitter-patter from his numb and vacant eyes.

If... If he had lost his place in this world, then maybe... maybe he should have just accepted his fate in the first place. Why did he try so hard to survive anyway? Who knows, maybe he would be able to wake up from this nightmare if he died.

The more Shen Nianzu thought about it, the more plausible it was.

And so, he didn’t move when a speeding car raced straight toward him. His lips even twitched into a smile, a genuinely relieved one, as if he was truly welcoming the embrace of death.

He was so tired. He didn’t want to struggle anymore. 𝓯𝓻𝒆𝙚𝒘𝓮𝙗𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝒍.𝙘𝓸𝙢

"Get away, get away from there—"

"Help, someone is going to be hit!!!"

A cacophony of screams pierced through the air, blending with the sharp screech of tires skidding across asphalt.

At the last moment before the car struck him, Shen Nianzu closed his eyes.

.

.

.

"Nian’er."

Tinkling laughter—light and childlike—rippled through the air, brushing past his ears like a gentle breeze. In the next instant, soft, tiny hands closed around his palms and tugged him forward, gentle yet firm, allowing him to dodge the car by a hair’s breadth.

Shen Nianzu snapped his eyes open, his heart thudding violently in his chest.