Who Let Him Cultivate?! (WX)-Chapter 284: The Inseparable Bond Between the Taciturn Daoist Priest and Prison Cells

“The Evolution of Prison Conditions in the Great Xia Dynasty Over Two Millennia.”

Yun Zhi casually listed a few examples. “I heard that during the era of the Dao-Seeking Nine, Shifu’s most frequent offense was drunk driving with flying swords, which constituted the crime of dangerous driving. He would end up in jail for a few months each time.”

She further explained, giving Lu Yang a crash course on the legal landscape in the Great Xia Dynasty. “This is actually the most common offense committed by cultivators. It’s not just driving flying swords—they also drive gourds, jade dizi flute, and so on. Many cultivators refuse to use their powers to sober up after drinking and end up flying around drunk. The Great Xia Dynasty has repeatedly tried to ban this but to no avail.

“Shifu once pretended to be a fortune teller. In a calm and composed manner, he told a customer, ‘You will be scammed out of your money today. If you wish to avert this, you must spend money to ward off disaster.’ The client believed him and handed over spirit stones to Shifu to dispel the calamity.

“Shifu accepted the spirit stones and said, ‘See? I told you you’d be scammed today. My prediction was spot on, right?’

“Then, he was thrown in jail.”

The Taciturn Daoist Priest had done so many things that Yun Zhi couldn’t enumerate them all. She could only pick a few examples for Lu Yang.

“Junior Brother, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Shifu once invented a spell called Size At Will (Localized Version). It’s easy to learn and master.”

Lu Yang nodded. It’s that mystical spell that allows men to adjust below and women to adjust above. Of course, I’ve heard of it. I even wanted to learn it, but I never found the opportunity.

“Originally, the court wanted to charge Shifu with the crime of producing, copying, publishing, selling, and distributing obscene materials for profit. But Fourth Elder stepped forward and argued vehemently, claiming that Shifu’s spell was related to yangsheng (health maintenance), with no hidden innuendos. In the end, the court backed down and didn’t convict Shifu, but they demanded that he stop spreading the spell and pay the taxes on the book sales.”

“Fourth Elder is so loyal to his friends!” Lu Yang was surprised. Despite usually being at odds with Shifu, Fourth Elder still stepped up at a critical moment to save Shifu from imprisonment.

Yun Zhi cast a glance at Lu Yang and said impassively, “That’s because Fourth Elder was also involved in the sale of those books. If Shifu were convicted, he wouldn’t be able to get away either.

“Or perhaps should I say, if Shifu were convicted, all of the Dao-Seeking Nine would be wiped out and reunited in prison.

“In any case, that was when Shifu made a fortune, the richest he had ever been. He spent money like water and treated spirit stones as mere stones.

“Shifu once emulated the Grand Elder’s footsteps by visiting a brothel. At the time, Shifu was decked out in gold and silver, looking like a nouveau riche. The madam was overjoyed, assuming he was a big client. But then, Shifu asked for an invoice, and the madam’s face darkened. She thought he was there to cause trouble and refused to issue one.

“Believing that the brothel was evading taxes, Shifu reported them to the authorities. In the end, the court ruled that the brothel was guilty of tax evasion and threw the madam in jail. They also ruled that Shifu was guilty of visiting prostitutes and threw him in jail as well.

“After the Grand Elder retired and the era of the Dao-Seeking Nine ended, the nine of them took control of the Dao-Seeking Sect. But even then, Shifu still didn’t settle down and behave himself.

“As you probably know, First Elder has a hobby of building tombs. Shifu accompanied him on outings to build tombs everywhere. While digging a pit to construct a tomb, they inadvertently unearthed a real tomb. Someone thought they were grave robbers and reported them to the authorities. When the authorities came to arrest them, the two thought jiangshi had come and almost got into a fight.”

The Everlasting Immortal Fairy marveled at the tales in Lu Yang’s mental space. The Dao-Seeking Sect is really full of extraordinary individuals. Staying in Lu Yang’s mental space is truly an eye-opening experience.

Lu Yang, “...”

Lu Yang felt that under the influence of both the Everlasting Immortal Fairy and the Taciturn Daoist Priest, it was no small feat that he had managed to stay true to his heart, work diligently, and live honestly.

“Isn’t Shifu at the Fusion Stage? How did he get caught?”

As the leader of the Dao-Seeking Sect and one of the top Fusion cultivators—possibly even the strongest—no one in Dayan Commandery could match the Taciturn Daoist Priest, not even if they were all stacked together..

How could he still get caught?

“Shifu said that the calamity of imprisonment is also part of being a secular cultivator.”

“Then does breaking out of prison count as part of being a secular cultivator?”

Yun Zhi fell silent for a long time, then gave Lu Yang a meaningful look. “Don’t ask Shifu that. I’m afraid it might give him ideas.”

Lu Yang scratched his head and said, “Oh. By the way, I have another question.”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t we be visiting Shifu in prison? Why are we eating right now?”

At the moment, Lu Yang and Yun Zhi were sitting in a small private room, with a lavish spread of delicacies before them. After returning from the Everlasting Ruins, Yun Zhi didn’t head straight for the prison. Instead, she took Lu Yang to the best restaurant in Dayan Commandery and ordered all the local specialties, causing Lu Yang’s eyes to twitch.

He really wanted to ask, Shifu is locked up just nearby. Isn’t it a bit inappropriate for us to be feasting like this?

But considering that Yun Zhi was sitting across from him, he ultimately didn’t dare to voice his question.

Yun Zhi took a bite of the steamed beef ball and was pleased with it. Firm and springy, it burst with juicy flavors as she bit into it.

She put down her chopsticks and explained expressionlessly, “Little Junior Brother, you must understand that Shifu is our elder. What elders wish to see most is their juniors being healthy and vigorous. If we’re eating and sleeping well here, I’m sure Shifu will be overjoyed to hear about our situation in his jail cell.”

Lu Yang felt that Yun Zhi made a lot of sense, but something still felt strange.

Is my brain not working properly lately? Is it a side effect of using the Huang Doudou Fist?