Be Gentle, Immortal Master - Chapter 11 - This Might Hurt

Copywriter:

On the first day of school, Wei Ru Song accidentally fell in front of Xiao Nian’s dick. With his girlfriend witnessing this incident and thinking that he was giving another man a blowjob, this led to a series of misunderstandings.

WRS : I’m not gay I’m not gay I’m not gayyyyyyyyyyyy!

XN : Neither am I.

WRS : Seems like we need to come up with a scheme to clear our names now.

XN : Ok.

So…

Counselor : I saw you and that junior doing it in the grass, *cough*, kiddo, please take note and be a bad influence.

WRS : No we just fell accidentally…

Neighbour : Wei Ru Song can you be quieter in bed? We couldn’t sleep the entire night.

WRS : No that was just Xiao Nian giving me a massage ahh…

Gym Teacher : You guys know what you did in the equipment room, go clean the mats!

WRS : Noooooooo that was just the milk I spilt!!!

Finally,

XN : Senior

WRS : Yeah?

XN : Since they already think we’re gay, why don’t we just let this work itself out.

WRS : … Just what I was thinking.

At the age of eleven, the youth Ye Xuan's soul traveled through time to the distant Mythical Era, becoming an Undying monster emerging from the Emperor's Burial Ground, influencing one era after another. Yet behind Ye Xuan, an invisible force manipulated everything. Struggling to take control of his fate, Ye Xuan exhausted all means, but just as he was on the brink of success, he was betrayed by his disciple and wife, causing his soul to slumber for ninety thousand years.When Ye Xuan awoke, he found himself back in his own body and had become the son-in-law of the Emperor Immortal Sect, treated by others as a fool. The story begins from here.Eternal Emperor Soul, returned overnight.From then on, an emperor rose as a son-in-law, ushering in an invincible myth that dominated through the ages!Simplified version: The foolish son-in-law, soul returned, rose in one morning, invincible through all ages.Show-off version: “I am invincible; do as you please.” — Ye Xuan.Meme version: That year, my hands in my pockets, I knew no rivals.

It’s 2100, and Vincent Carter – Ying – is a twenty-year-old virgin with a penchant for profanity, he has but three guiding principles:“In a world where honour and valour seem like unaffordable luxuries, cowardice remains the pragmatist’s ultimate virtue. Spinelessness isn’t shameful, it’s simply self-preservative romance.”“Doubt is unironically the cheapest superpower a person can have, after all if it’s human, it’s probably plotting something. And if it’s plotting something, it’s probably hiding something. And if it’s hiding something… well, you get the idea. So question everything, one sceptical step at a time.”And lastly,“Muscle heads – because who needs brains when you can just flex your way through life? Couldn’t be me, I’ll tell you that much.”Armed with nothing but these… questionable (?) values, as well as experiences shaped by a hellish life in the slums, Ying dives headfirst into the latest VR sensation – Cultivation Climax, a world brimming with great magic, ancient mysteries, and blood-curdling conspiracies just waiting to be unravelled.However, because Ying’s life is just that kind of special, he is greeted with a rather ‘lovely’ surprise upon opening his eyes to the new world…Ding![Your misfortune is truly astounding!][You have awakened the absolute WORST talent for Cultivation!]‘…’“…W-what?!”Yes, what indeed.

Trying to hit on Shinobu mommy.