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... nned the mystical scrolls in front of him, squinting like a grandpa trying to read the fine print on a prescription bottle. These scrolls would bestow upon him the powers he needed for his new gig as "The Cameraman," a title that sounded like he should be working on a low-budget documentary rather than manipulating reality and filming it like a terrorist magician on crack.

With a lot of careful consideration and a sigh that echoed like a deflating balloon, he picked the first scroll and ...

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Thanos raised his golden gloves, and the six Infinity Stones shone with pleated radiance: “If I snap my fingers, you will turn into dust in the wind.”

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