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... hool, and guess what? I'm the new kid.

Oh, and did I mention I'm currently strapped into this torture device of a disguise? Yeah. My boobs? Squashed like pancakes, wrapped so tight I can barely breathe. My hair? Hidden under a suffocating head wrap, topped with a cheap-ass men's wig that smells like plastic. And my voice? Let's just pray I don't crack like a teenage boy in puberty.

But the real kicker? The way these girls are looking at me.

Like, excuse me, ma'am, I am no ...

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