Divine Convenience Store - Chapter 9: New Day, New Customer

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”

Instead of causing chaos with my knowledge of the original work, I assisted the protagonist.

I successfully completed the story and now planned to retire and live peacefully.

However, it seems the protagonist still needs my help.

An academy professor? That’s nothing much.

But why is the state of the academy so strange?”

When a person dies, they either die light as a feather (aka unimportant) or heavy as Mt. Tai (aka very important).

[More funny than happy + metaphysics slap in the face + entertainment circle + 1v1 Shuangjie]

The doomsday boss of Taoism caught up with the last train to wear books and became a fake daughter of abusive literature. At the beginning, she avoided all kinds of people with evil intentions, but learned that she was a last-class citizen and would be repatriated by the empire at any time?

Qu Jian’er can only resume her old career and open the door to a new world. The left hand grasps variety shows and acting (earning small money), and the right hand scientifically preaches and solves doubts (earning big money).

Next to her booth, there is often a holographic projection super-large loudspeaker, which plays in a 360° loop without dead ends:

10% off life-saving emblem,

More cost-effective recharge discounts;

Buy one get one free on the Pure Heart and Tranquility Talisman,

New customers sell and buy instant discount of 3 yuan.

There are also evil obstacle purifiers, aura locators, resentment detectors, soul body translators, mecha blessing cards… waiting for you to snap up!

When she became a hot search again, most people ridiculed and sneered.

Top-ranking directors, well-known film stars, big traffic stars, business crocodiles, wealthy presidents, and empire bosses all came here admiringly: “Boss, help!”

There is a gentleman in the capital of the main star of the empire. It is rumored that he is very wise and close to demons, moody, insidious, cunning, and ascetic.

One day, this master confessed under the camera of the All-Star Live broadcast: “I checked today’s calendar, except for loving you~ all things, no, appropriate.”

Since then, the silence of most people has been “deafening”.

- Description from novelbuddy