Earning the Love of a Princess-Chapter 295: Violet: A Mournful Wind

24 October, 1348. Hellesfarn County, Western Islia

Ilse sat as still and mute as a marble statue, staring out the carriage window. Violet thought she occasionally saw her sister’s frame shake with suppressed sobs, but Ilse didn’t utter a single word.

To Violet, it felt like she was like stuck on a journey that seemed to have no end. The rocking, bumping motion of the carriage was making her queasy. The wind whistled outside and pushed in icy blasts through the gaps in the rickety carriage.

Violet had never felt so alone. Alone and unprotected. She bit her lip anxiously while watching the barren landscape pass by in a blur through the gap between the curtains. It seemed decades - not a mere seven months - since they’d made the journey in reverse. Twin sisters, as close as they could be, excitedly holding hands as their carriage drew them ever closer to the glittering royal court.

Violet remembered the landscape back then had been tinged with the pale green of early spring, as if mimicking the hope and enthusiasm that had filled both girls.

Now the slopes and valleys she could see, matched her mood. Cold and desolate. All hope was crushed and she was returning home tainted by scandal. 𝓯𝙧𝓮𝓮𝒘𝓮𝙗𝙣𝒐𝒗𝒆𝓵.𝓬𝓸𝒎

They had passed a few stately manor houses and lively looking taverns during their journey and each time, the carriage man had asked the sisters if they wanted to stop for a meal or a beverage.

Each time, Violet had refused. The very thought of food turned her stomach. Besides, she didn’t want to be seen or spoken to by anyone.

Ilse ignored every offer as well.

The houses and taverns appeared less and less frequently the further west they traveled from the court. The wind grew stronger and began to howl almost mournfully. It was the only sound that rattled within the carriage.

Violet remembered the roaring fires and dramatic pointed stone spires of Westerhaven. The rich food, wine and never ending music. She wasn’t so much sorry that it had ended, as she was sorry about how it had ended. Who knew how long the sisters’ banishment from court would last? They didn’t even have each other to lean on during their fall from grace.

"Ilse." she whispered quietly.

No response. Perhaps the wind had drowned out Violet’s voice.

"Ilse." she tried again. "I never meant for things to turn out like this. It’s the truth."

"I don’t doubt it." Ilse muttered without turning away from her window.

"Then...you understand...?" A tiny ray of hope flickered in Violet’s soul.

"Yes, I understand." Ilse’s normally sweet voice was so hard edged, it immediately reminded Violet of Lady Thierre. When Ilse finally looked at her, her eyes were pools of ice. "I understand you never wanted it to end with you being sent away. You simply hoped that I’d be the one forced to leave court, so that there would be more room for you to triumph alone."

"No...I mean-"

"I don’t need your pointless explanations. You saw me as a threat. And I had no idea because I always saw you as my sister." Ilse shook her head, tears filling her eyes. "Even these last weeks when we barely spoke, I never stopped looking out for you. I always defended you whenever someone spoke badly of you. I shouldn’t have bothered. Not when all this time, you’d been plotting to steal the one man I truly cared about from me."

Violet felt tears spring to her eyes as well. "I didn’t start out that way, I swear-"

"Don’t bother. I need your excuses even less." Ilse raised a hand wearily. "But you can rejoice because I won’t fight for him. Anyone who beds my own twin behind my back isn’t worthy of my love. I don’t care how sorry he says is and how you were just a meaningless romp. I can’t ever be with that kind of man. You’re probably well suited to him, actually."

Violet bit back a sob oh her own. Is that how Leo had described her? She was carrying his child and he’d called her a meaningless romp?

"So, you’re welcome to him. But I don’t know how easy it is to make a man want you, when he never really has before." Ilse turned to face the window again.

Violet remained silent. What was left to say?

- - -

The weak sun wasn’t far from setting and marking the end of another day. It was decided the small party of travellers would spend the night at a monastery on the outskirts of a town that Violet didn’t bother finding out the name of.

As she walked into the monastery and looked at the stone floors and bare, lime washed walls, it all looked so shockingly plain and humble to her.

It’s because you’ve gotten too used to luxury these last months, the little voice inside Violet’s head mocked her. But don’t worry, my dear. You still have a ways to fall. Even this monastery is more comfortable than what awaits you at your family home.

An aged monk led the sisters to a sparse bedchamber to share. Violet knew better than to ask if a second room was available. Without a word, Ilse ate the bowl of watery stew provided for her dinner, stepped out of her fur trimmed travelling gown and washed her face with a bowl of cold water. She then quietly crawled into the bed.

She never acknowledged that Violet was standing nearby.

Once it was clear Ilse wasn’t going to lift a finger to help her, Violet undressed to her chemise and washed the travel dust from her hands and face. She looked at the bowl of stew doled out to her and her stomach lurched with disgust.

There was nothing left to do but sleep. She climbed into bed and stared silently at Ilse’s back.

Violet barely slept. Instead, she found herself praying the night would never end. That way, she’d never have to face what tomorrow was bringing.

- - -

The movement caused by Ilse slipping out of the bed woke Violet up from a fretful sleep. "What time is it, Ilse?" she croaked.

No response.

Violet glanced at the window with tired eyes and saw the pale glow of dawn. She then turned to look at Ilse, who’d pulled on her gown from the previous day and opened the bedchamber door, calling out for breakfast and clean water.

Violet remained in bed, exhausted. A little while later, two monks entered, one carrying a large bucket of water. The other had a loaf of brown bread and an ale jug in his hands.

When the monks had left the room, Ilse stepped out of her gown and washed herself. Once dressed again, she pulled her hair back into a single neat braid. Finally, she broke the loaf of bread in two and started nibbling on one half as she stared into space.

Violet climbed out of the bed and stood on shaky legs. She felt both nauseous and weak from hunger - a curious combination. Grabbing the chunk of bread Ilse had left behind, she took a small bite.

The stale, coarse texture immediately displeased her. Violet found herself comparing the soft wheat bread served in abundance at court, to the loaf in her hand. It tasted like it had been baked when King Edward was still in the nursery. Still, her belly wasn’t rejecting it so Violet forced herself to keep chewing and swallowing.

Ilse suddenly stood up and walked towards the bedchamber door.

"Where are you going?" Violet asked.

"To the carriage to wait for us to start travelling again."

"Can’t you just stay here for a few more moments? I might need help-"

Violet’s words were cut off by Ilse slamming the door shut behind her.

"Thanks for nothing." she muttered. Her sister preferred to sit and wait in a carriage, in the cold, than be in the same room as her. Violet’s anger began to get the better of her, swimming in the same murky pool as her guilt.

Why was Ilse being so hostile? Yes, Violet had lain with Prince Leo, but hadn’t Ilse said - yesterday, in fact! - that she had no interest in fighting to get him back? Surely she couldn’t be so heartsick over a man she’d only known a few months? A vain, devious man at that, who probably wasn’t even capable of loving any woman back.

Could she?

She felt a little sick at the thought of her actions having truly shattered her twin’s heart. That had never been her intention. She’d just wanted Ilse to step back and let her shine, for once in their lives. And if she’d succeeded, Violet knew she would’ve shared her triumph with her sister.

If her plans had paid off, Violet knew she would’ve been gracious in victory and let Ilse benefit from being the sister of Prince Leo’s favourite lady. That’s how sisters should be.

So why was Ilse now treating so bitterly in defeat?