Mage Manual-Chapter 1476 - 1076: Conflicted Feelings

Ash tucked both hands into his coat pockets, gazing at the skyline hidden amidst the steel jungle, where branches stripped of leaves were covered in snowflakes.

There was a bookstore ahead. Ash glanced at it, his gaze lingering on a poster for a moment.

The poster depicted a mysterious figure seated on a high chair, dressed in dark gothic attire. With their head lowered, they held a chain in both hands, their age and gender indeterminate. Behind them, hundreds of ghostly giants were seated on spiked benches, their bodies decayed and their expressions terrified, all with shackles on their hands and feet. The chains of these shackles converged together, connecting to the chains held by the mysterious figure.

"Ghost Manual: In this world, there’s always evil without reason, always demons going against the path."

Ash withdrew his gaze, thinking how this surprisingly aligned with Vishi’s true nature, considering she indeed possesses the Soul-locking God.

Vishi was a villain, a demon cloaked in human skin, he silently recited to himself.

With a quarter of his soul lost, Ash vaguely felt he had lost many memories, especially those pertaining to Vishi.

He had completely forgotten everything about Vishi, all traces of her in his memory had been erased. Even if Ash noticed the inexplicable gaps in his memories, he couldn’t fill those broken parts with Vishi... nor did he know what role she played in his past.

But he couldn’t speak of this matter; if it were revealed that he had traded a quarter of his soul in Hell, the Sword Maiden and the others would certainly not allow him to continue his adventures in the Level Six of Hell. In truth, he knew the girls hadn’t believed his statements entirely, at least they didn’t buy into the idea that scavenging in Hell involved no risk at all.

But Ash insisted on being strong, seeming safe and sound, which is why they willingly went along with his wishes.

Luckily, only he could enter Hell, and fortunately, what was traded was the ephemeral soul, otherwise, the troubles wouldn’t concern just Ash alone.

Ash didn’t want to rely on the girls entirely. Aside from the soul trade, he had almost disclosed all truths to them. But since some matters were destined to be beyond their help, speaking of them would only increase their guilt and worries, wouldn’t it?

The Level Six of Hell must be visited, and the soul trading at crucial moments was inevitable, apart from hating their powerlessness in reality, what else could they do?

Inside the Allstars prison, during that night chasing the speeding train, Ash had chewed over the phrase ’helplessness’ repeatedly... If he could truly rely on them, Ash would never sacrifice himself for mere sentiment. He dislikes those tragic dramas; but if he can’t share the burden, then the worry should belong to him alone, after all, he can’t possibly risk his life in Hell and then have to console the Sword Maiden and the others back in reality, right?

Ash felt like a terminal patient, battling against ill fate with Death Mad in Hell, while trying to heal mind and body with the Sword Maiden in reality.

But compared to the soul he had sold, Vishi is now the root of Ash’s worries.

Due to a complete blank regarding Vishi, Ash could only indirectly inquire about her from others. Besides the Sword Maiden, he had recently sought out the Witch and Silver Lamp, yet their attitude turned out unexpectedly consistent.

Utilizing the Ghost Prophet, permissible.

Playing tricks on the Demon Maid, also permissible.

But trusting Vishi, absolutely not.

The Witch used the Gospel Divine Being to help Ash search through Vishi’s past records, even though it was just the tip of the iceberg extracted from the Ghost Manual, the sins within were already shocking.

"The slaughter of living and soul refining" is Vishi’s cultivation method, also her most heinous sin. It’s known that, no matter how vile, a Necromancer would merely kill for corpses, yet Vishi exterminates her enemies and also extracts their souls, exploiting the despairing energy they emit during agony as material for casting, the departed souls could neither return to Hell nor find release even under torture till the very end.

To borrow a phrase from the Ghost Manual, "Death isn’t the end of despair, but the beginning of a nightmare."

Silver Lamp didn’t tell Ash much; she only mentioned briefly amidst intimacy, a minor detail: Senluo’s doom and her sacrifice. Although primarily caused by the three gods, Whitedove, Fire Cat, and Blue Bird, this didn’t hinder her loathing towards Vishi.

The three gods decided to annihilate Senluo out of despair; she couldn’t be blamed, but Vishi came to seize the Divine Being purely out of personal greed. This demon not only facilitated the arrival of the apocalypse but almost killed the two during the eighteenth layer of Silent Spiral!

If it weren’t for Ash having complete control over Vishi, along with her undeniable value and the significant help she provided him, any absence of these three conditions would have kept Silver Lamp from accepting Vishi’s continued existence.

"I don’t mind serving alongside her," last night Weiser held Ash in her arms, her voice gentle and sweet, yet her words filled with clear killing intent: "But my hand will forever remain poised to strike her down in an instant."

Of course, Vishi wasn’t just all evil, otherwise, she wouldn’t stay among them. At least during the period Ash controlled Vishi, she indeed assisted him greatly, such as Hell’s Poison, the plan to break through Allstars’ prison, and the Demigod Promotion Ceremony... Vishi’s Shared Life, Shared Death with him wasn’t fewer than with other operators.

That’s why Ash felt so disheartened.

Managing Vishi is simple; just treat her as a dangerous tool, use when needed, and destroy when not. Any emotion towards her would become the loophole through which she’d corrode the shackles... She isn’t human, but an unfeeling calamity, a chaotic demon, a synonym for cruelty.

Judging from the attitude of others, it was evident Ash himself had handled Vishi similarly before, with vigilance mixed with fear, cautiously yet with a resolution to potentially perish together. There are people in this world, the more you understand them, the stronger your killing intent grows.

But now, Ash had lost those memories.

Vigilance, apprehension, determinative resolution, all those complex emotions were bundled and sold to Death Mad. In Ash’s heart, only a pure emotion remained, one he was unwilling to admit yet hopelessly couldn’t deny.

At the traffic light, Ash sighed softly, exhaling a puff of white mist, crossing the road with the crowd.

Across the street, there was an outdoor café. Ash glanced at it, raised his eyebrows, and walked over to greet, "What are you doing here?"

Felix held a cup of hot coffee, sipping slowly, though it still seemed too hot. She couldn’t help but stick out her tongue to blow on it. She looked up at Ash and said, "Slacking, didn’t feel like walking anymore."

"Did you pass by here too?"

"Yeah," Felix took out a map from her navy coat, looked over it, and said, "See, our search areas overlap here."

Ash nodded, then looked at the traffic weaving through the snow outside, lost in thought. Felix didn’t bother him, her nose twitched, catching the aroma of baking from the café. She glanced around and raised her hand, saying, "I’ll have a molten lava cake."

"Is there any sweet drink here?" Ash suddenly asked, "Something with no bitterness at all."

Felix glanced at him, "Only sweet milk matches your requirement... Are you a kid? Can’t even drink coffee?"

"A sweet milk and a molten lava cake." Ash didn’t mind being called childish at all, sat opposite Felix, lightly tapping his fingers on the wooden table, his left hand supporting his cheek, staring dumbly at the swirling snowflakes.

After a long silence, once their drink and dessert arrived, Felix suddenly said softly, "If you don’t want to talk, could you move to the next table? It’s rather awkward for me..."

Ash hesitated for a long time before finally deciding, "I want to ask you a question."

"I really wouldn’t mind if you moved to the next table..."

"If there’s someone whose views and behavior you abhor deeply, finding them utterly unacceptable," Ash said, poking at the molten lava cake with a spoon, "but you inexplicably find yourself liking them, what would you do?"

Felix held the coffee cup in both hands, her eyes blinking rapidly at him, momentarily speechless.