Reincarnated into a Snow Griffin-Chapter 142

"Are you the son of the Demon Lord?" I ask, the words going out far easier than forming in my mind since I’m still coping with the idea, and Ethan’s hesitation plus the tension that comes over his body is already an enough answer.

"The same one that took the High Lands from my people? The same one that caused me to lose my home and my family and barely escape with life?" I ask, unable to leave the fueling anger out of my voice, having learned over the years and with my research that he was the head of the operation that took the flying island as a hidden base for demons to start moving up to the main continent and yet keep hidden from prying eyes, the lion a mere paw, still the main focus of my revenge, but have someone connected to the main source of it all so close...

The strategic and rational line of thought of a cold ruler who did not hesitant in trampling over anything and anyone to get what he deems his, and we were just the stepping stone on his plan, easily ignored.

Are you telling me that Ethan is the son of such a monster?

"It is... not what you think." He says fearful of my reaction, not even glancing at my side.

"Then you are not his son?"

"No... I am his son, unfortunately." Expecting him to deny and not really believing that what the fox said in a fit of rage is actually true it takes me a few moments to absorb what he just said, a blunt hit that shakes me for a moment, enough so that Ethan manages to keep talking without my interruption despite me having much to say about it.

"But it is not what you think, really, I may have his filthy blood running through my veins but that’s about it." He sighs, pokes the fire one last time and resigns to his fate, dragging his feet to my side and sitting beside me and yet far still, not looking forward to this conversation at all.

"Well, I guess it is impossible to expect that a small explanation would do, sigh, very well then... I come from a very strong yet small line of demons from the Sanguine clan, or popularly known as the Blood Drinking Demon Clan." Very self describing, I think, but do not stop him.

"They, well, us are known to be quite the eccentric kind of demon, cold and calculating, and yet driven by this maddening hunger to act without thinking, a colliding existence on itself... thankfully, however, I’m a half breed so the symptoms take longer to appear, born from a human farm of the north."

"You see, these demons, especially the strongest ones, have a tradition: to breed with humans to afford stronger demons that can leave the barrier, and to have only the best there is they simply use these farms and leave their children to die there, and those who manage to survive to adulthood on their own are considerate strong and fitting to finally receive the family name and to be part of the clan." He clenches his fist at that, and I can only imagine how it was, what must be like, to leave without mother from birth, to be thrown into the world from birth.

Merciless.

"Only the strongest will be accepted, and only the strongest will survive, especially when there is so many demons killing the offspring of others, especially the Demon’s Lord so, when he dies, his line dies with him and gives space for other family lines to take his place, so forth and on is the cruel ways of the demons, especially the Sanguine clan."

Such meaningless cruelty... I should not have expected different from the ones responsible for the horrors against mine, but still to have breeding farms, to be so unattached to your own offspring to the point of not carrying about their safety, to not even carrying about if they lived or die, to throw them into this death game from the moment they were born... I cannot phantom how it must have been to have lived like that, surviving one day at a time.

My anger dims a little, but I’m still mad about him keeping so many secrets from me, and still have other questions to ask too.

"What about the heart? Why did you do that?"

"Well..." I see him hesitate once more, already unsure of what to say, but we are too deep in this shit now for me to accept any secrets, at least not to this degree.

"No more secrets Ethan, if you want this to work between us you have to be honest with me."

"I’m trying, is just that... I’m not speaking of my proudest points here, you know." He gives me a sad version of his dimpled smirk, worn out by this conversation but I cannot back down now otherwise I may as well never know the truth.

And I am being honest about having to go through this if he wanted us to be a thing, I don’t think I would be able to accept him as much if I knew he kept hiding important things from me, if he did not trust me enough to share such things.

"You already know so much about me, about my greatest failure, my greatest regret of not being able to save my own mother, what is there to be afraid of?" His eyes meet mine for the first time,

"You should not be ashamed of that, never be ashamed of that, you were just a child and you fought bravely to the utmost of your own strengths, never be ashamed of that, I am the one who should apologize instead..." He says a little too fast, putting words on top of each other, and for a moment, a shocking realization moment, then I just look at him when what he look away and down once more.

"...You... you were there?" He doesn’t answer.

"...You...you watched as they took everything from me? You..." I thought nothing he said could affect me anymore, already coming to terms with my anger, but I did not expect to be filled with disappointment instead.

He tenses, waiting for my outburst, but instead I cool down, staring deep into his fleeing eyes, my mind in a mess that I do not even know how to react, ending up with no reaction at all, an emptiness instead.

He is the one to actually have the outburst at the prolonging silence.

"I did not want that! I should-I should have done something, anything! You have to believe me, I regret that moment so much, but I was still young and had just been accepted by the clan, I wanted to prove myself so much and that was my first mission with the clan and yet... and yet... When I saw you there, fighting with all your might I just... felt so ashamed of myself and so proud of you, such a little guy fighting against a giant lion, and I saw no fear or hesitation in your eyes..."

"It was from that day on that I completely fell in love with you, with your strength, with your will, the more I spend with you, the deeper I fell... I was, and always will be, your little devil... even if you don’t want me anymore after all this."

A sharp pain in my head makes me grunt in pain, and memories flow from a time forgotten, as if his words, his confession, are the key to triggering it.

And then I remember, I remember it all, of a time when we meet, of a time that he saved me.

Of how, without noticing, we had actually known each other for a time before even the day of the catastrophe, of how I had managed to simply forget him.

Of how I knew him from before chaos erupted all there was... and before he saved my life.