The CEO's Secret Affair-Chapter 23: Her Best Friend

~James’s POV~

"I messed up! I messed up!" I screamed at myself for the thousandth time as I paced around my office dramatically. I never should have done that, never should have tried to kiss her. Now our friendship was definitely over, and even if it wasn’t, things would never be like they used to between us.

Stressed, I dropped into my chair and dragged both hands down my face, groaning into my palms.

The truth was, I’d always loved her. Not in the casual, best-friend way I’d pretended for years. Not in the teasing, "I’ll marry you if you’re still single at thirty-five" way I’d hidden behind. I loved her the way that kept me awake at night, the way that made every other relationship feel like a placeholder.

But Anne had never been available. Thomas Brown had taken whatever trust she had and ground it into dust. I’d watched her rebuild herself piece by piece, and I’d promised myself I’d be whatever she needed: friend, confidant, the safe place she could land. I’d kept that promise, even though it had been a very difficult task.

I’d dated other women, let her tease me about them, laughed it off when she rolled her eyes at my terrible choices. I’d swallowed every jealous pang when she talked about anyone.

However, things had changed after I noticed the way she reacted to our boss, Mr Antonelli. At first, I had thought it was the usual tension that every employee had whenever they saw him, but after receiving the notification that I might be moved just minutes after he saw Anne in my arms. Worse, the confidence Anne had confronted him with, it was unnatural, and not what any normal secretary could do.

It was then that I realised it, she and our Mr Antonelli definitely had something going on. I had seen many men make their move on Anne, and while she never took any of them seriously, I felt it was different this time. Riccardo Antonelli’s charm had worked on her, and I felt like I might lose her for good if I didn’t do something.

I wanted her to know, before it was too late. That someone out there loved her without conditions. Without games. That I’d been standing right here the whole time, waiting for a chance that might never come.

So I tried to kiss her. Like an idiot.

And the look on her face when she pulled away, God, it gutted me. I’d scared her. The one thing I’d sworn I’d never do.

I needed to speak to her as quickly as possible, I needed to apologise. It was best I kept these feelings to myself, I’d rather still have her as a friend than risk losing her completely.

Rising from where I sat, I drew a deep breath before leaving my office. It’d been over half an hour since she left, so I was guessing and hoping she was done with Mr Antonelli by now. I needed to talk to her, to apologise and make sure she understood that it was never my intention to make her uncomfortable.

The elevator ride to her floor felt like an hour, but finally I arrived at her office. Drawing in a deep breath, I brought my hand down on the door.

"Enter..." her voice authorised from inside. I was glad she was around, and hopefully she wouldn’t be too busy for our conversation.

She had a bright smile when I walked in, however it quickly faded the moment we locked eyes, and the once calm atmosphere was replaced with an air of awkwardness.

"James...is there something you want?" She asked in the most normal voice she could muster at the moment.

I exhaled slowly, shoving my hands into my pockets so I wouldn’t fidget. "Yeah. I came to apologise. About earlier."

She blinked, tilting her head with a small, confused laugh. "Earlier? What do you—"

"Anne," I interjrcted gently, "you don’t have to pretend. I know what I did. I crossed a line, and I’m sorry. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable. Not ever."

I watched her glare at me with an open mouth, but I knew she wasn’t going to say anything, at least not yet.

My voice was already thinning from the tension, so I took a step closer to avoid raising my voice and risking it cracking. I took another breath to steady myself, before finally getting to the part that was probably the hardest to say.

"I need to say this, and then I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want. I’ve always loved you. Not just as a friend. More than that. For years. And I know—" I swallowed, forcing the words out before I could choke on them. "I know you don’t feel the same. I’ve always known. And that’s okay. I never expected anything. I just...i just don’t want things to go wrong with our friendship...."

Her eyes remained on me, her mouth still opened lightly even though I knew she wasn’t able to form words at the moment. I didn’t blame her, I would be frozen too if my best friend suddenly confessed that he had always loved me.

"I don’t need you to love me back," I said quietly. "I don’t need anything to change. I just want us to be friends again. Like before. I promise I’ll keep these feelings locked down. They won’t get in the way. Not anymore."

The room went silent except for the faint hum of the air conditioning.

Anne stared at me for a long moment, speechless. Her eyes glistened, and she opened her mouth once, twice, but nothing came.

I gave her a small, sad smile. "It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything right now. Take all the time you need. I’ll give you space to figure out what you want. Whatever you decide, I’ll respect it."

With that, I turned toward the door, hurrying to leave before my emotions could get the better of me. But before I could reach the door, I felt her arms wrap around me from behind.

"Don’t," she whispered, her voice trembling. "Don’t ever think about leaving me."

My heartbeat jumped, and it felt as though my heart might break out of my ribcage.

"You’re my best friend, James. Nothing changes that. Nothing. It doesn’t matter what happens, or who... or whatever else is going on in my life. You’ll always be my friend. Always."

I breathed a sigh of relief, before turning around to return the embrace properly. It was definitely going to be hard, watching her love another man. But I had made her a promise, and I planned to keep it. It was the least I could do as her best friend.