Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?!-Chapter 19: The False Recapture of Affection (Please Follow)

Chapter 19: Chapter 19: The False Recapture of Affection (Please Follow)

Opposite him was a man who looked to be in his thirties, with hair styled fashionably, and a slim overall figure—no, not "slim," more like "frail."

[But the clothes on this person seem to be from good brands, not like someone struggling economically.]

"Hello."

Nan Zhubin greeted first as usual.

"Hello." Faced with Nan Zhubin's greeting, the other unconsciously responded, "How should I address you?"

"My surname is Nan."

"Oh, it's Mr. Nan."

The other person was also sizing up Nan Zhubin, taking a look up and down and then exclaiming, "Mr. Nan is very young."

And then added, "And also very handsome."

Nan Zhubin gave a slight smile as if to acknowledge the compliment, his lips curling up by 3 degrees.

Although being praised, the way the other person spoke indeed felt a bit strange.

As someone whose looks are above average, Nan Zhubin is well acquainted with the expression people have when genuinely complimenting him.

Speaking of recent expressions from Lu Jia, Shen Bing, and other colleagues, it was enough for Nan Zhubin to establish a corresponding "expression database."

[But his expression was different from those before, it didn't seem to stem from an appreciation of appearance.]

[Instead... it was a bit similar to how Supervisor Weng and Boss Huo look at me?]

Nan Zhubin asked, "How should I address you?"

"My surname is Huang." The visitor added while continuing to scrutinize Nan Zhubin's face, "I am the owner of a bar."

Nan Zhubin forcefully maintained his smile.

Now he could explain the other's expression.

"Then I'll call you 'Boss Huang'."

With the basic self-introductions complete, the consultation relationship had established its foundation.

At this point, Nan Zhubin paused for two or three seconds.

This time, without needing him to think of a way to start, Boss Huang proactively initiated a topic: "For someone as handsome as Mr. Nan, you must have had a lot of romantic experiences, right? Very pure ones, unrelated to work, money, or anything like that."

Nan Zhubin took a moment to think, dodged the question, and chose another direction: "I heard from the assistant that Boss Huang hopes to engage in [emotional reconciliation]?"

"Yes,"

"Could I get a detailed understanding of your current situation?"

Upon hearing this, Boss Huang immediately opened up.

"To be honest, it's quite embarrassing to say, after all, I am of such an age and have seen quite a bit, yet here I am doing psychological consultation over a woman... No, for a girl."

Nan Zhubin aptly guided: "What kind of girl is she?"

Boss Huang opened up even more.

"As I am the owner of a bar, she came to work with me when she was nineteen. She was very young back then, knew nothing, and I taught her many things. And in this process, gradually, hmm..."

"Did love grow over time?"

"No, not love, but anyhow, it just... happened!"

"Oh." Nan Zhubin blinked.

"Many times," Boss Huang added, continuing:

"Then perhaps Mr. Nan might not fully understand the nature of our industry, where these things don't really carry much emotion. I surely had more than just her as an employee, right? In any case, during this time, I did some things that might have hurt her..."

Nan Zhubin maintained his rationality to observe the other: [There was a hint of regret in the expression.]

But the manner you're speaking easily perpetuates industry stereotypes.

"And I wasn't very attentive to her on a regular basis, there were times she'd asked not to go further, but I... still did. Mr. Nan, as a man, you should understand, right?"

You're perpetrating gender stereotypes against men too.

Fortunately, at this stage of the conversation, there was no longer a need to maintain a professional smile.

Nan Zhubin naturally frowned:

"You just mentioned 'before' several times, talking about past issues, what about the current situation?"

Boss Huang nodded, "It's indeed from several years ago, now she's 22, and our relationship has remained vague over these years."

"Primarily, she did her job very well, and I promoted her to manager long ago. Over the years, she also used this position to meet many other people and gained many resources."

Nan Zhubin observed the expression on the other's face: [Now the regret on his face was even heavier.]

"Recently, the general environment has been poor, so the bar business has dropped a lot, everyone's earnings have reduced."

"And at this time, she suddenly said she wanted to leave." Boss Huang inexplicably seemed worried, "I never really realized her importance before, even though I'm over thirty, and never considered seeking a proper girlfriend or anything."

"Yet now, as soon as she said she wanted to leave, I suddenly panicked, only then did I realize... I started to develop feelings, can you understand this feeling, Mr. Nan?"

Hah, the understanding might be different from yours.

Someone wants to work on a career, and now you want to engage emotionally.

Or perhaps you intended to engage emotionally to boost your career?

...

Confirmed the storyline, it's a person impossible to empathize with.

The consultant's professional skills remain too limited.

Nan Zhubin started to think about which direction to lead the subsequent counseling.

Boss Huang continued to vent: "I've tried to retain her during this period, even made assurances, but she just won't listen, treating it as business, solely determined to leave."

"I have no one to talk to, so I came to do this, um, psychological consultation. Additionally, hoped to find a male consultant, because I believe that men would understand things like this better."

Nan Zhubin frowned and pursed his lips.

Gender stereotypes against men are deepening once again, hey.

"I didn't expect Mr. Nan to be so handsome; with that being the case, he must have a lot of experience handling relationship issues, right? I'd like Mr. Nan to teach me, how should I try to win her back in this situation?"

I can't teach you, even if I could, I wouldn't want to.

But this consultation still has to be completed earnestly.

Let me think first, how to reprimand you while still earning your gratitude.

Nan Zhubin watched Boss Huang's expression.

[Brows slightly furrowed, corners of the eyes drawn up, fists clenched. Emotions of distress, simultaneously anxious.]

[Previously spoken words had no traces of lies, emotion expressed aligned with language.]

[At least he genuinely wants "emotional reconciliation."]

[Or should I say... he thinks he wants "emotional reconciliation"?]

Nan Zhubin's thoughts began to collide, the words previously spoken by Boss Huang started to arrange themselves in his mind.

A logical route slowly emerged.

The mind became clear.

Suddenly, Nan Zhubin said: "You mentioned earlier 'the environment is tough, and bar business has dropped significantly,' could you elaborate?"

Nan Zhubin didn't follow the visitor's request and really give any suggestions on rectifying the emotional issue.

But Boss Huang didn't mind, rather seemed to find some kind of affirmation and importance, and proceeded along Nan Zhubin's words.

Repeating the other's previous words, thereby diverting or guiding the conversation to a desired topic is a dialogue technique.

Called [verbal repetition].

It not only applies to consultations but also can be utilized in life.

Of course, the repetition must be precise, the target of the repetitive sentence chosen appropriately, otherwise, it could have the opposite effect. Particularly selecting the repetition target, must appropriately hit the spot.

Right now, the part Nan Zhubin chose to repeat is what he considers the consultation's focus.

...

"Mr. Nan must understand, in our industry it's 'special'." Boss Huang used rather euphemistic phrasing.

"Many rules that didn't exist before are now suddenly enforced; lots of rules that existed in name only before are now possibly taken seriously."

"Such constant changes make doing business below very tough, can easily go from making big bucks yesterday to today being in the red..."

Suddenly, Nan Zhubin squinted his eyes.

This is the emotion!

[It's the same distress and discomfort, identical to when he was expressing wanting to reconcile emotionally!]

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Nan Zhubin understood.

This consultation could be concluded.

Nan Zhubin took control of the conversation:

"Boss Huang, what I'm about to say might be difficult for you to accept, but this is a judgment made through my professional expertise."

"To speak bluntly, you don't really want to reconcile this 'relationship' at all."

"Or rather, what you want to recover is not 'a relationship' at all!"